Shattered Blizzard
by Impersonating-an-entity
Summary: Rated for language a FEW graphic scenes. After the Dark Tournament, Jin gets drunk and loses control, to Touya's dismay. Yusuke finds Touya, and helps him heal. But do their feelings run deeper then friendship? And what about Jin?
1. Jin's Mistake

Warnings: umm... Jesus, first chappie, and we've already got a rape scene sighs I'm so violent. But after this chappie it's pretty vanilla for a long while. A bit of swearing, and shonen-ai, but after this, not so much for a many whiles.

Disclaimer: sighs No charries in this story belong to me unless otherwise stated but Touya is my pet bishie! THe plot is mine, and if you steal it, I'll sick the rabid hamhams on you! gnar gnar gnar!

* * *

Touya walked, dejectedly, through the forest on Hanging Neck Island. It was the day after his team, Team Masho, A.K.A., the Shinobi, had lost to Team Urameshi in the Dark Tournament. He had healed quickly, as most demons do, and had decided to take a walk around the island that might have been his. With Gama dead, and Jin off drinking away his loss, Touya was left with nothing to do, no one to talk to, as Reisho and Bakken were quite unwanted company. Where were _they_, anyhow?

Touya continued walking, and, growing tired after his healing, he stopped and sat up against the front wall of a cave to sleep. It was, in fact, the cave in which Yusuke had undergone his ordeal by Genkai, but, of course, Touya wasn't to know this. Growing comfortable, Touya soon drifted off into the all-too welcoming arms of sleep. He knew better than to fall asleep unguarded, and around so many youkai, but at this point, with so little left to live for, he didn't really care if some stupid youkai should decide to see a little ice-blood.

Touya was quite suddenly, and quite rudely, awakened by a sharp kick to the side and an all-too familiar laugh. "Get up, baka yaroo!" came the snickering command of Reisho.

"Time to play, little Toy-a!" was the seconding comment of Bakken, as he followed up with a hard punch to Touya's chest.

Touya pulled himself up, gasping sharply as Bakken hit him. "Why won't you two leave me alone?" he whispered to himself, hoping they wouldn't hear.

Alas, Reisho heard something, though he wasn't sure what. "What did you say?" he said, pinning Touya to the cave wall by way of a firmly clenched hand around Touya's neck.

A gasp loosed from Touya's pale throat, as his hands did battle with Reisho's, trying to pull Reisho's dirty hands from his soft, pale neck. Touya's pale face begin to turn shades of lightest blue as the lack of oxygen took its toll, and his frenzied hands slowed nearly imperceptibly in their attempts at liberation from the bondage Reisho forced upon him.

"Wha's this now?" Came a drunken voice a short distance off an up, as a noticeably tipsy Jin made a frightfully clumsy landing. "Are ya two a-playin with ma toys?" he said, his accent, combined with his drunkenness, making his words almost indistinguishable.

Reisho and Bakken paled, they had not expected Jin to find them so soon, and fearing enough his temper when sober, they were damn near terrified of what he might do drunk. "Jin, calm yourself," was Reisho's trembling request, as he quickly removed his hand from Touya's slender throat. Touya gasped, sliding down slightly, he was still taxed from the other days fight and being choked did not help much his poor condition.

Jin growled, replying, "Outta ma way, damn'nit!!" Jin stumbled forward, punching both Reisho and Bakken out of his way.

Catching Touya's chin within his firm hand, he brought the delicate youkai up, pressing his mouth firmly to Touya's. Touya's eyes widened, and Reisho's and Bakken's nearly rolled right out of their heads, but for gravity's strength withholding their eyes to their sockets. Touya gasped, mouth opening with surprise, and drunken Jin took advantage of this to slide his tongue in between Touya's cool sweet lips into the surprisingly warm mouth.

Touya, still not having been able to get a decent breath through all this, pushed away at Jin, trying, not only to breath, but to stop before Jin's lack of sobriety got the better of them both.

He succeeded, whether for better or worse, none were too sure, as Jin scowled, angered by this action. "Ay now! Tha's no fun t'all!" He cried, slapping Touya with his other hand. A bright red mark, shaped as Jin's hand, sprang on Touya's other wise white cheek, as his faced turned under the strength.

If Touya's eyes were wide before, they were certainly now saucers. Jin. Jin had. Had hit him. It didn't compute. It didn't make sense. Touya knew Jin sometimes did strange, regrettable things when intoxicated, but never... nothing like this... Jin would never hurt him! And yet, he was sharply brought back from these stunned and slowed thoughts as Jin now rained on him blows and kicks.

A whirlwind slowly began to whip around the two, and Reisho and Bakken were forced to avert their equally stunned eyes, very soon running off to some place Jin wasn't.

Jin began tearing off the layers of clothes surrounding Touya, that he might have a better look at the soft porcelain skin.

"Stop it, Jin! Please don't do something we'll regret!" pleaded Touya, as Jin began working at Touya's pants.

"Chikoshou, how do you get these fuckers off!" said Jin, completely ignoring Touya's request and his futile attempts at protecting himself from Jin's wildly roaming hands. Jin punched Touya's cheek once again. "Hold still!" he said.

Touya was to the brink of tears, but he refused to cry. Jin began nibbling at his ear, his hands finally loosing the accursed buckles and shoving Touya's pants down. Touya moaned at this attention, a small part of him enjoying it under all the pain-but only a small part, and that small part felt terribly dirty. Jin's searching hands grabbed hold of Touya's dick, squeezing, first gently, then harder and harder till Touya surrendered, quite involuntarily, giving into the sinful, painful pleasure.

Jin then took Touya's hands to his own, now quite hard, dick, wrapping Touya's small, white hands around himself, causing him to squeeze and tighten his grasp over Jin. Jin then brought one hand up and pushed Touya down to his knees and shoved himself into Touya's pleading mouth. "Suck, pretty-one," commanded Jin's sake drenched voice. Touya, knowing of no other way to make it end, did as he was told, trembling and bleeding.

Jin came hard into Touya's hot mouth, and Touya felt Jin go limp. Jin pushed Touya away, kissed him a final time, threw on his clothes and, smiling, said, "Tha' 'as fun lil 'un, hafta try tha' agin, eh?" just before he stumbled off, god only knows where.

Touya crawled up, gathered his clothes slowly, and crept into the very entrance of the cave, heaping the fabric over himself before he collapsed there, crying till he fainted, well in open sight to any who should actually happen to pass by the remote cavern.

Touya lay there three days before someone did happen to come by-Yusuke.


	2. Yusuke's Discovery

Yusuke had never actually seen Touya as a particular enemy to be mistrusted and fought, and was quick to see what happened when he noticed a very battered-looking Touya lying at the opening of the cave. Touya was, for all appearances, dead, but with patience Yusuke was able to discern the faint youki within the frail body, now that he concentrated on it.

Yusuke began to lift Touya's emaciated body, and blushed violently when he noticed Touya to be stark naked. Clearing his throat, he wrestled Touya's pants onto their owner's small body and he piled the rest of Touya's various articles on top of Touya. Yusuke picked Touya up and carefully carried him back to the hotel ((?)) he was staying at. He wondered where Touya's team mates were, but at the moment, it didn't matter, now did it?

Meeting Kurama in the lobby, Yusuke told Kurama to find Yukina, a needless order since Kurama quickly rushed off to do just that.

While he waited, Yusuke brought Touya up to his room and laid Touya, carefully, on his futon. Yusuke pulled the covers over Touya, and then went off to make some tea and soup in the little kitchen area of his team's rooms.

Finished, Yusuke brought the goods in to find Touya sitting up carefully, head in his hands, and eyes closed, tears dripping from the shut lids. They came fast and hot, leaving clear tracks down the cool yet flaming cheeks.

Now that less urgency pervaded the situation, Yusuke finally took a full inventory of Touya's wounds. Bruises covered his chest, one eye was black and swollen, his cheeks also were bruised and the imprint of a hand still shone brightly red on one of his cheeks. Scars adorned him head to toe, and Yusuke was already too familiar with the marred appearance of Touya's legs, and, err, other areas best not hurt. Touya's normally neat hair was unbelievably tousled, and later Yusuke would also notice that, had Touya pupils, they would have been dilated, instead, his irises were larger than normal, and red lined fringed well his eyes, that hardly any white should show between the red and blue. Purplish blood stained Touya entire body, and another substance, white and sticky, smeared Touya's hands and face, a substance Yusuke did not fail to recognize.

Having observed all this in a matter of moments, Yusuke sat on the edge of the futon near Touya, and handed the tea and soup to Touya. "Here," Yusuke said quietly, and Touya nodded slightly, opening his eyes for the first time yet, showing them devoid of life, as he nodded slightly and accepted the tea, holding off on the soup for a few moments.

Touya sipped the warm liquid, wincing slightly-a little too warm perhaps, though he was as tolerant as any ningen with regards to heat. He drank the rest quite quickly, letting the drink burn down and cleanse his mouth of the bitter taste that still filled it after three days lying as though dead.

He then took the soup; still glad of the warmth that helped his hands feel cleaner after all that had happened, and ate the soup more slowly then he had drunk his tea, savoring it after going so long fasting. ((Does one eat soup? Or drink it? Nay but... my god! LOL word games! How now! Chop logic! Must ask my English teacher bout that...))

Kurama finally returned after having found Yukina just as Touya was finishing his soup. Not a single word had passed the whole time as Yusuke watched, alert to any sign of a fixable discomfort. When Yukina saw Touya's pitiable state, she cried out, Kurama said Touya looked bad, but nothing would have prepared her for such as it was. "Touya! What happened?" she yelled. Touya blinked and shook his head, a trembling sigh the only sound he made. Kurama and Yusuke looked on worriedly as Yukina began checking over her small patient. She soon sent all ((Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara, the latter two having come along when Kurama had fetched Yukina)) but Yusuke off to the kitchen. No entreaties could be made of Touya to bring him to speak as yet, so Yukina began asking Yusuke of the circumstances he found Touya in as she rubbed various creams and poultices over the wounds and bruises, and bandaged them carefully, yet tightly.

"Where was he?" – Yukina.

"Lying in front of a cave." – Yusuke.

"Was he conscious?" – Yukina.

"Not unless he just thought it would be more fun to see what I would do if I didn't know he was." – Yusuke.

"When did you find him?" – Yukina.

"I guess... about two hours ago? Yeah, I think so..." – Yusuke.

"Any idea what happened?" – Yukina.

"Considering how beat-up he is and the fact he didn't have any clothes on at the time... I'm guessing he was raped and beaten." – Yusuke.

"Who?" – Yukina.

"My guess is as good as yours." – Yusuke.

"Who, touya?" – Yukina.

Touya refused to answer, simply shaking his head and sighing again.


	3. Yusuke's Boarder

The Dark Tournament had finally reached its conclusion, and, after everyone had healed sufficiently, it was time to go. But up came the inevitable question-what should they do with Touya now? He still wouldn't talk, and they obviously couldn't leave him in a place like Hanging Neck Island with so many bloodthirsty Youkai around. He'd be dead in a matter of moments. Quickly it was now a question of, who would host Touya?

It was decided that since Kurama had fought and defeated him, and since Kurama had to worry over his Kaasan, it would be best Touya didn't stay there. Hiei was not the caring nurturing type, and would have no patience for a weak-minded patient. Besides, Hiei didn't even really have a home. Touya didn't seem to particularly like Kuabara or Yukina, not to say he disliked them, jus didn't have any attachment or previous knowledge of them. Touya did seem to like Yusuke, he would only eat or drink what Yusuke gave him, and, with the exception of when Yukina had to check his bandages and tend his wounds, he would let no one else touch him. And since Yusuke's mom was perpetually out drinking, it was decided that there would be no parental problems. It was settled. Touya would stay at Yusuke's, at least until he was better, both mentally and physically.

Once they got to Yusuke's home, Yusuke brought Touya back to his room and went off in search of some bedding Touya might use. Returning with the desired sheets and such, Yusuke set up a place for Touya to sleep, knowing that the fragile youkai would not want to be left alone at night. Yusuke noticed Touya had picked up a picture of Yusuke and Keiko together and was examining it carefully.

Yusuke, captain obvious, explained, "That's me and Keiko on our first official date." Touya nodded, placing it back on Yusuke's nightstand where he found it.

"What's a date?" Touya asked very quietly, so quiet that Yusuke only barely heard it.

"Umm, it's when... Two people go someplace together just to enjoy each other's company. To have fun, or be romantic.... Because they love each other..." explained Yusuke, trying to figure out how to say it right.

"What's love?" asked Touya.

Yusuke began to blush and thought a while before trying to explain this one. "Love is... When you feel very strongly about some one. You feel like you need them to be happy, as if they weren't with you and happy, then you couldn't be happy either. It's when you like being with a person just because of who they are. You'd give up anything just for them because you need them to be happy. You want to be with them and make them comfortable and you trust them totally."

A single tear fell down Touya's cheek as he said; "I used to love him then. But not now, I guess."

"Who?" asked Yusuke. Touya shook his head and closed himself back up again. "You mean that guy who raped you, huh?" Touya sat utterly still, completely silent. Another tear fought its way past his eye and down his cheek. Yusuke wiped the tear from Touya's once again healed, pristine cheek, and nodded. "Right then. Take your time, Touya. No rush." said Yusuke, being as kind as he knew how. "I'll go make something to eat." He continued, standing and walking to the kitchen. Touya sat and tried to calm himself, then followed Yusuke to the kitchen and watched him cook.


	4. Jin's Realization

"Uh, God, Touya's right! I needa quit drinkin' so much sake! Messes wit'ya sumat awful!" said Jin as he woke up somewhere in the middle of a forest. He scarcely knew where he was, though, eventually, he remembered- Hanging Neck Island, his team had just been defeated, "God, was it yesterday? Uh, this is awful! I never had so bada hangover afore!" Jin scowled, got up, not just a little shakily, and looked for something to drink to clear his head. Stumbling, he quickly changed his course for a nearby bush and threw up. He winced, spat, and continued looking for something to drink, though now more fervently than before.

Finding a small river, he quite nearly fell next to it, in his eagerness to drink, and nearly drank the entire river. Quenching his thirst for the moment, he sat up and rested his head in his hands, wondering how long it would take before his hangover passed this time. He vaguely wondered where Touya was, at first just because Touya would have helped his headache go away, then because he wanted to see the pretty face of the one he had developed a, shall we say, strong emotional attachment to.

His headache having finally passed to a point at which he could stand to think, he rose and began looking. He decided a good place to start would be the place he and the rest of Team Masho, A.K.A. the Shinobi, were staying. Which was basically a small pit in the earth in the middle of the forest, which Reisho had created. With a dirt/ice roof. Not the most comfortable dwelling, but they had certainly stayed at worse places. It was on the opposite side of the island from the Dark Tournament, in an attempt to prevent surprise attacks, and to give Touya his preferred solitude, though Reisho and Bakken normally cared not what Touya wanted. Jin and Gama had stood up for Touya's desires though.

He 'as no backbone. I wish I could 'elp 'im more. He'd ne'er admit it, but I've seen all 'a bruises and cuts on 'im. I know either Reisho or Bakken or both are a' beaten on 'im. If only I could catch 'em in the act. I swear they wouldn't know lef' from righ'! Jin thought quite miserably.

On his way to their oh-so-humble abode, he kept an eye out for Touya, but didn't notice him. If he hadn't been flying so high, he might have seen Touya's prone body still, after two days now, STILL lying prone in the cave. But, he didn't.

Reaching the tiny earthen, ice-en hut, he found no-one, but he recognized the markings left on the dirt floor to be their agreed upon symbol as a note the others were leaving. Assuming Touya was with them, Jin flew off towards the place that they normally stayed when they weren't on a job or some other assignment, so to speak. Granted, that was rare. But, the marking had indicated that that was where the others were destined.

After five days of halting travel, during which Jin enjoyed his occasional solitude, his freedom, and the strange new winds as much as he could, Jin arrived at their normal resting place, an expansive cave with various hidden escape roots and a small mountain river. Entering by the secret entrance known only by the Shinobi, he found Reisho and Bakken.

"Where's Touya?" he asked, frowning slightly.

"You don't know?" replied Reisho.

"Why would I know, didan' he leave with you two?" was Jin's quick and ardent reply.

"You don't remember what happened? What you did?" returned Reisho, not without a small element of humor.

Jin now looked curiously, and somewhat scared, at Reisho. "Wha' I did?" he asked, somewhat afraid of what the answer would be. He had been pretty drunk after all.

"We had thought you would have had him clinging to you like all your beloved winds, after something like that." At this, 'all Jin's beloved winds' quickened fiercely, angry at Reisho's lack of a direct answer, but also scared what that direct answer might be.

"An' wha' would 'THAT' be now?" questioned Jin. Reisho and Bakken began to snicker at his ignorance. Reisho attempted to tell Jin, but found the words would not pass his throat. Jin's glowering face finally persuaded him to explain.

"You beat him, you drunken bastard! And you kissed him first! God, the look on his face! It was hilarious! You should have seen! Oh, wait now! You caused it!" Reisho and Bakken were now laughing uncontrollably, as Jin turned first pale, then brilliant red, at the embarrassment of what he had done to Touya and his severe annoyance of this those two's 'tender' treatment of the subject.

"SHUT UP! I did nah! I could nah! It couldn't'av been me!" Jin fruitlessly denied, as Bakken and Reisho's laughter grew louder. Walking quickly, he punched Reisho, then Bakken. They both fought a little, but found their efforts nearly as useless as Jin's denial of what he'd done to Touya. Pummeling them to unconsciousness and even slightly beyond, he flew off, in a tangle of frenzied winds filled with the salt of his tears.

Moving much faster then before, he reached Hanging Neck Island in just two and half days, but still too late, the Dark Tournament done. He searched every nook on the island, but could find nothing but one of Touya's shoes, which had been dropped near the cave where Yusuke had found Touya. Of Touya himself, no clue could be found. The only place Jin could find even a scrap of Touya's youki was the tournament ring, and that was quite weak with age, and pummeled away by the other fighters.

A second, yet more thorough search of the island overturned a touch of youki that was scarcely recognizable in its depths of pain, but with determination, Jin found the signs that confirmed to him its origin-Touya. 'This must be where I... I beat him...' Jin realized, filled with remorse. "I swear I ne'er will drink again, 'specially not if I can just find 'im!" Jin yelled to his winds. Standing, Jin vaguely began to remember what had happened though he had unconsciously blocked the rape from his mind.


	5. Pizza and Music Cure All

Yusuke smiled, upon seeing that Touya had quitted his room to join Yusuke in the kitchen. "Anything you want to eat in particular?" he asked of Touya.

"It doesn't matter," was Touya's quiet reply. 'I'm so glad he's finally talking again. Creeped me out, when he wouldn't say a word like that,' thought Yusuke. Touya had not spoken till his question about Yusuke's picture.

"All right, how about... erm..." Yusuke began going through the fridge and pantry, looking for something to make. "Guess I'll throw some frozen pizza in the oven." he said. Touya frowned.

"Pizza? That ningen food with the bread and cheese and tomato sauce?"

"Yeah. But this one's got pepperonis and sausage on it too. I hate sausage... Oh well, it's the only type we got right now. I need to go buy some more," said Yusuke. Touya simply nodded; fascinated by the way Yusuke used the oven, and the apparent intensity of heat it emitted when Yusuke opened it. ((He's spent all his long youkai life in the woods separated from any sort of modern ningen technology. He's not seen an oven or anything before! LOL))

Touya finally sat down, toeing the floor in the awkward silence. He didn't want to talk, just listen to Yusuke. But Yusuke was at a loss. Eventually, Yusuke began talking. "I'm trying to start a punk band, but not having much success. Actually, scratch that, I'm having some success, its just not all coming together immediately. I like things to just work out and be done with it. Oh well. Anyhow, I figure on being the drummer, and Kuwabara says he can play bass guitar, but I haven't heard him yet so who knows. Kurama's too refined to join a punk band, so I wasn't surprised when he said no thanks. I was able to get Hiei interested, though I'm not sure why he said yes. But I don't think he's even seen an electric guitar, since he said I'd need to teach him. I think he'd be good though, once he learned. He could pry come up with some good angsty songs!" said Yusuke with a laugh.

Touya had no idea what punk rock, or a guitar was, or much of anything else, but he was fairly content to just listen. He perked up a little when Yusuke mentioned that he thought Hiei would likely be good once he learned. "Would I be good if I learned?" Touya asked quietly.

((For the record, I'm about to talk about Yusuke seeing how good Touya is, and I don't really know anything about electric guitars, or any other kind of guitar for that matter. I probably will have tons of errors, though I'm gonna try to stay sort of ambiguous. Anyhow, please forgive me if you happen to know how to play a guitar and see errors, and possibly even e-mail me a short descip of how to fix it. It would be appreciated, even if I don't have many mistakes now, because I want to make this a somewhat large part of the story. No, its not just a whim, I actually have an idea for this, it will be an important, if somewhat unnecessary part of the story. Whether I incorporate the rest of my idea, who knows? ((a/n-i did incorporate it, you'll see later!)) LOL god this was a long little note thing. Gonna have to put this at the end, stead of next to the area being discussed, as it is now... ((a/n-I never did, and i never will! -;;)) ))

Yusuke grinned at him. "Only one way to find out, I guess." he said, leading Touya to his garage after checking the oven timer and seeing he still had ten minutes before the pizza would be ready. Turning the lights on, a drum set, several guitars, and a few mics ((SP?)) even, were found. Further inspection found a stereo and recording set. Touya, naturally, didn't recognize any of it. "I'm something of a Jack-of-All trades when it comes to the music world." said Yusuke, picking up a couple electric guitars and handing one to Touya. "And Koenma put up for the instruments and equipment when I asked if I would get anything for my help in the spirit world and stuff. He was a bit mad at first, said that I got my life back, wasn't that enough? But eventually he decided I would be less annoying if he just bought me some equipment and got on with life. or death. or whatever." Yusuke grinned jauntily, helping Touya adjust his guitar. Yusuke scooped up a couple guitar picks, giving one to Touya, who looked at it oddly.

"What's this for?" Touya asked.

Yusuke grinned again. "You use it when you play a guitar so that you don't cut up your fingers and bleed on the equipment. 'cause that would really suck. And it might mess up the guitar, too, if you bled on it. And plus, pics are a bit more specific, it gives you more control when you're playing."

Touya nodded, still bewildered. Yusuke adjusted Touya's grasp on the pick, before taking his own, and playing a short simple tune on his guitar. It was a good thing Touya had been watching, fascinated, because Yusuke then asked him to play it back. Touya did, somewhat shakily. Yusuke repeated this act several times more, and Touya repeated each short phrase with varying degrees of success until Yusuke decided the pizza would probably be done soon, if not already.

As they walked back to the kitchen, Yusuke congratulated Touya, "You did really good for a beginner. Most people are much more awkward than that, and normally they can't play anything back like you did. Once you get the basics and what not, you could definitely be great."

Touya blushed slightly. No one had ever told him he was good at something. Not even Jin, though Touya did have a few compliments from Jin that he could recall, but they were all superficial, at least, most of them. Never had anyone complimented him on his abilities or character. People feared him for both and acknowledged his strength and skill, but not appreciated it. And his master, who taught him his ice skills, never thought he was good enough, always pushing him and smirking, scowling, snickering with each defeat, defiance, disgrace.

The pizza was ready, and Yusuke took it out of the oven, cutting it into eight slices and fetching a couple plates. He placed three slices on each, handing one to Touya. "Be careful-it's still hot yet." Yusuke carefully picked up a slice, blowing on it to cool it off before taking a hesitant bite and wincing at the heat.

Touya watched this process, and then raised his own piece of pizza, blowing on it as well, and having considerably more success then Yusuke at cooling it, as a few tiny ice crystals condensed on his breath and landed on the now lukewarm pizza. Not at all surprised or upset about such a happening, Touya calmly took a bite of the pizza. His eyes positively lit up, and he quite nearly shoved the rest of the slice in his mouth and picked up the next piece, forgetting to blow it off in his eagerness, then yelping and flapping a hand in front of his mouth as, big surprise, the pizza was still too hot. Yusuke laughed and got Touya a glass of water.

"Here, you might find this helpful." said Yusuke as Touya swiped the glass and gulped a swig, setting it down, and blowing on the pizza before finishing it off. With the third piece he was more careful, being sure to blow it off and testing it with his tongue before he practically inhaled it too. Touya raced back to the oven and took the other two slices, carefully cooling them and eating them. Yusuke laughed again at Touya's well-pleased expression, then noticed that Touya's gaze had fallen on his unfinished third slice, which he quickly shoved in his mouth. 'If this is all it takes to make him happy again, he'll be over that dick-head in a week!' observed Yusuke joyfully.


	6. Nightmare

"God, I'm tired," said Yusuke, as he put away his guitars. After eating the pizza, he had brought Touya back to his garage and had been teaching him the basics of playing an electric guitar. Touya learned quickly and easily, modestly explaining that too often his life depended on learning in an instant to be slow.

At this, Yusuke frowned, saying, "You don't have to worry about that now Touya. You're safe here and no one's going to rush you." It was at least three in the morning when Yusuke decided sleep would be a good idea, and led Touya back to his room.

Yusuke stripped off his shirt and pants and fell on his bed. A little maneuvering and the covers were up to his waist, as he got comfortable to sleep. Touya blushed a little and lay down on his bed, trying not to look at Yusuke's chest.

* * *

Touya was running on thin ice-literally. Each step left fine cracks which quickly shattered into tiny ice shards showing the dark water beneath the ice- a clearly traceable path. He was panting, moving as fast as he could, not only to avoid falling through the ice, but also because something –someone?- was chasing him. Touya wasn't sure what or who, but he did know he didn't want them to catch him. A strong wind blew over him, causing his path to waver, blowing snow into his eyes, causing him to close them and wince. A blizzard then. Touya kept running, unaware that he was slowly being turned back by the wind, unable to see his former path through the snow.

A laugh sounded, one Touya couldn't hear in the winds howling, but he could feel. It shook him, and he shivered, thinking Quite a thing, to make an ice master shiver He grew tired yet, but unwilling to surrender, when a creature overtook him, picking him up and carrying through the wind. Touya watched, helpless as the ground receded. The creature placed him on a high plateau, where Touya recognized the beast to be Jin. "Jin, Help me!" he said, and Jin smiled, and pushed him off the plateau. Touya's face reflected surprise and disbelief as he fell, pieces of him seeming to crack like the ice that was his element, the storm, stopping, no wind to slow his descent, no snow to soften his landing. The blizzard, shattered.

* * *

Touya woke, shaking, and sat bolt upright in his bed. He brought his knees to his chest, encircling his arms around them, and burying his face, sobbing quietly, rocking slightly; trying to remember what dream he'd had that was so horrible. He remembered, and cringed, wishing he hadn't.

Yusuke heard him and awoke as well, despite Touya's attempts not to wake him. Yusuke crept out of bed and walked quietly over to Touya, kneeling beside him and wrapping an arm around his back. Touya winced and glanced up, and realized it was just Yusuke. It was okay. Touya leaned up against Yusuke, seeking to absorb his warmth and calmness.

Touya's tears slowed, and he pulled away, aware that Yusuke had a girlfriend- Keiko. "Are you okay, little guy?" Had Touya been at his normal self, Yusuke would not have gotten away with saying something like that, but in this state, it was comforting and Touya nodded slightly. "No, you're not. But it's okay. I won't blame you for lying," said Yusuke with a grin, thumbing Touya's nose.

"Can I stay in your bed tonight, Yusuke?" asked Touya quietly, made somewhat bolder by Yusuke's act, and used to having to often sharing beds with the other members of the Shinobi when they were sparse.

Yusuke blushed slightly, though Touya didn't notice in the dark, all too aware of his lack of nighttime clothing, but quickly decided that Touya probably wouldn't have asked if he didn't need to. "Yeah, I guess so. Come on." Yusuke picked up Touya easily, shocked at how light he was, and put Touya on his bed. "You need to eat more, Touya."

"You get used to not eating much as a Shinobi," was the quiet reply. Yusuke lay down and realized his bed was not quite as big as he seemed to remember. His body pushed gently against Touya's, who rolled onto one side, his back facing Yusuke. Yusuke followed suit, and brought his free arm ((not pinned beneath him)) to Touya, gently pulling Touya's body up to his own, then draping his arm protectively over Touya's waist.

At first, Touya's eyes sprung open wide, his body rigid, but he almost immediately calmed, closing his eyes and tucking his own body against Yusuke's, pulling the cover to their chests, and trying to gain some warmth into his frigid body.

Yusuke might have protested the blanket being pulled up –he was hot! - but Touya's body was, not surprisingly, quite cool, and so Yusuke found himself comfortably arranged. ((Damn it! My boobs are in my way! Gak! LOL))


	7. Another Mission

"Hey, Touya! Come down here!" Yusuke's voice rang clear and Touya's eyes opened in thin slits, blinking at the golden light that seeped in from the window. For a moment, Touya forgot where he was, and his training and youkai instincts took over, he leaped from Yusuke's bed; glancing about frantically a moment. "Touya! Hurry up!" Touya calmed, remembering - he was at Yusuke's house. He sighed, and then a new thought struck him. Why was it so late in the day? He normally woke with the dawn. However, judging by the sunlight, it had to be about midday.

Quite fully awake now, Touya quickly went downstairs where Yusuke was in the kitchen. "What do you want to eat?" Yusuke asked. He was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, and a cooking apron. His hair was unbrushed and the clothes looked wrinkled like they hadn't been washed since he last wore them. The overall effect was rather comical.

Still slightly out of sorts from his panic attack a moment ago, Touya said the first ningen food that came to mind. "Pizza." The humor of the situation had yet to dawn on him.

Yusuke snickered. "I guess it's late enough in the day to have it, but for the first thing you eat? We did just have some last night." Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest, and bore an extreme resemblance to a scolding mother who couldn't help but be amused by their child's latest antics.

"Pizza," was the resolute response Touya gave to this declaration. "What time is it?" He then added. Touya glanced around and spotted a clock, but he didn't understand the ningen numbers.

"Umm...." Yusuke followed Touya's glance to the oven clock and quickly realized Touya's loss for its meaning. "About 1:30."

"1:30? Why did you let me sleep so late?" Touya asked. He didn't want to get into bad habits.

"Well, we stayed up real late last night, and I figured a little more time would help you feel better when you woke up." Yusuke responded. Touya shook his head slightly. "Besides, you did have that nightmare interrupt your sleep and I know you stayed awake a while after that happened, although I don't think you had anymore nightmares." Yusuke hurried to elaborate; Touya clearly was not fully pleased with his first answer. "Oh, also, Koenma told me he's having trouble with a small group of rebellious youkai at the border. Normally he'd have another group take care of it, but all his other detectives are busy apparently. SO! He's sending me and the others to go take care of it. Which means that you will either be here, or you can go stay at Genkai's temple with Yukina. I'll warn you though, if you stay here, chances are that you'll mostly be alone. My mom might drop in occasionally, but she probably won't be much use. She'll be too drunk or hungover to do much of anything."

Touya stared at Yusuke. They'd barely just got back and he already had to run off? "How long?"

"Not long-a week at most I'd bet. Koenma made it sound like these guys were pretty wimpy, just a bit tricky and he didn't have anyone else free. And Hiei and Kurama can take care of any traps or something these little fucks can come up with."

Touya knew better, even with his short acquaintance, than to ask Yusuke if he would be all right. After all, Yusuke had clearly proven himself in the Dark Tournament, and would only be insulted if Touya asked. "Right," was, therefore, all he said.

Yusuke grinned. "K. I'll put another pizza in and you can practice some more while it cooks. I want to give you a few more of the basics to practice while I'm away." Touya nodded, feeling strangely upset. As he said he would, Yusuke put another frozen pizza in the oven, and the two of them went to the garage.

"Here." Yusuke handed one of the guitars to Touya, to whom it already felt natural. They briefly reviewed what Touya had learned the last night, and then Yusuke went to check the pizza while Touya practiced alone for a few moments.

The pizza was done cooking, so Yusuke called Touya out, and Touya carefully put the guitar away. Touya walked back into the kitchen, still slightly dispirited. Everything else was bad enough, but now his savior was leaving. Even though it shouldn't be long and there shouldn't be any problems... What if something went wrong? What would happen to him? He took the plate Yusuke offered and sat down. He didn't say word, and ate with much less 'enthusiasm' than the night before. Yusuke attributed it to Touya's thought's wandering back to his rape and decided for the moment all he could say was nothing.


	8. Jin's Revelation

Jin was frantic. He had no idea where Touya could possibly be. The people who ran the hotel were already gone; apparently they were open only during the Dark Tournament. The point being, Jin couldn't ask them anything about Touya. No one else was left on the island.

He could barely think; he beat himself so much over what he did, that nothing seemed to click. After a week turning the island upside down looking for anything besides those two scraps of Touya's ki and his shoe, he realized if he was going to be successful he needed to stop and think a little.

He jumped into the ocean and swam for 15 minutes or so, icy water, so much like Touya's cold hands, caressing him and beating him at once. Jin flew out, drenched and dripping, and sat down on the rocky shoreline. Finally he remembered that since Touya couldn't fly, the only way he could have left the island was the ferry.

He then left to find the captain, and was successful.

"Was ther' a short, 'uman-looking youkai with blue an' green 'air on board? He's short an' quiet, an' he woulda' been wearing a white toga thing, a blue tank, an' a grayish netted undershirt?" Jin asked.

"Yes, there might have been," was the captain's uncaring reply.

"Was he with anyone?" was the next question.

"I think so," apathy was apparent, and it angered Jin.

"Look, chikousho, I'm in no mood, an' if ya dun' care tha's fine, but ya 'ad better act like ya do! Now 'ho was he with?"

"I don't know who they were! There were four with him I think, one was short and wore a black cloak. Another was real tall and wore a blue uniform and had bright orange hair. The third was a pale redhead that wore Chinese-looking clothing. The last seemed to be the leader and he was average height for a ningen and had black hair and a green uniform! And they all appeared humanoid but all had enormous ki or youki!" said the captain, worried now. He had just recognized Jin as a Shinobi from the tournament and was scared shitless.

Jin blinked. "Tell me a li'l more abou' the leader." He said, a little calmer.

"I think he had brown eyes and he was a careless, cocky little bastard. Wait, I think he's the one you fought in the Dark Tournament! Urameshi Yusuke, that's right, I'm sure of it! And the one you first wanted to know about, he was clinging to Urameshi like ravens to death!" The captain was panicking, but Jin wasn't going to do anything to him now.

Jin walked a few steps off then flew away, wondering how to find Urameshi Yusuke. He couldn't help but feel further the hurt already instilled in him- the captain had said that Touya had been clinging to Yusuke. Did that mean?....


	9. Keiko's Angry!

"You're staying here?" asked Yusuke.

"Where else can I practice playing the guitar?" was Touya's response. "Your mom said she'd stay and help me out." Yusuke made a very rude, doubtful noise and shook his head, but if this was where Touya wanted to stay, instead of at the temple with Yukina, then it was fine with him.

"If you think you'll be okay then," Yusuke said doubtfully, then continued, "Anyhow, I'll see you in a little while Touya. Be a good boy and don't get in trouble." Yusuke sported a mischievous grin as he said this last part.

Touya tried to smile back, but his face was not accustomed to showing much of anything, and even had he actually been in a good mood, he would have had trouble with such an expression, now, it was utterly impossible.

With a final wave, Yusuke turned and walked over to where the rest of the team stood waiting, and the four of them left. Touya turned and went back into the house.

He was greeted by Urameshi Atsuko-san, who was, surprisingly, sober. "Hey there, Touya," she said cheerfully. She had gotten used to her son's strange, silent friend. "Anything you need?" She asked.

"A shower. And Pizza." He said. Atsuko-san stared at him a moment and then laughed.

"I'll put a pizza in the oven then and you go take your shower," said Atsuko-san, laughing at Touya's food of choice. Touya took his shower and was just finishing getting dressed when the doorbell rang. Atsuko-san answered. It was Keiko.

"Hello Atsuko-san, is Yusuke here?" she asked.

"Oh, no. Would you like to stay anyhow? Touya and me are having pizza. His choice," said Atsuko-san with a smile.

"Where is he?" asked Keiko, not ready to be distracted yet.

Touya stepped out into the hall where Keiko could see him. "He left on a mission. Didn't you know?" Touya asked. He had assumed Yusuke had told Keiko and she just hadn't been able to see him off.

Keiko's face turned crimson with rage. "What! He left again?! With out telling me? AGAIN!" Touya tried to walk away quietly. "Thanks Atsuko-san, I'm going home!" Keiko growled, turning sharply around and walking briskly off. Atsuko-san closed the door and followed Touya into the kitchen.

"That boy! He is such a moron! One day he's gonna do something really stupid and she's gonna dump him for good instead of just smacking and yelling at him," said Atsuko-san with a scowl and a sigh. The rest of the meal was filled with Atsuko-san trying to make conversation, then, seeing this was pointless, she just filled time talking about her day, hobbies, funny drinking stories, etc. Touya listened patiently, not just occasionally drifting to his own thoughts.


	10. Worsening

As expected, Yusuke and the other reikai tantei returned in a week, more or less intact. Hiei and Kurama suffered a few minor acid burns, which healed quickly and ceased to bother them. Yusuke and Kuwabara, who had walked right into the acid trap that the former thieves, Hiei and Kurama, had just barely avoided, were less fortunate. Acid has been spilt over much of their bodies, luckily their clothes kept some off for a moment, which meant a little more time to react before the burns were too bad. Their hands and arms were badly burned; their legs, chest and face had more minor burns. Yukina was able to heal most of their burns as well, though both felt uncomfortably warm much of the time, and their hands still bothered them both for a few months, making more dexterous activities difficult. For instance, guitar lessons were effectively halted, and Touya got a little more time to practice then they had anticipated.

Touya was glad to see them back, though disturbed by their burns, even if most were healed. As Ice Demons, both he and Yukina felt deeply for the burned tantei, even though none of them would make too big a deal about it.

Since Atsuko-san was out drinking, and Yusuke's hands still tingled from the after affects of healing and throbbed gently from the burns, Touya cooked dinner. Atsuko-san had actually taught him to cook a few things, including pizza ((-)), while Yusuke was gone. Mostly just how to work the oven and cook frozen goods, although that was better than nothing. She also showed him a few different 'dinner in a box' type meals for which he had to memorize the ingredients and measurements since he still hadn't learned to read. Touya threw frozen lasagna in the oven, which he held in high respect and not some small degree of fear for its fierce heat, and then sat next to Yusuke. ((A/N LOL that was so much fun to write! About Touya's respect for the oven that is.))

Yusuke had pulled his shirt off, hoping it would help ease the burn heat. "Let me see your hands," said Touya, blushing slightly. He was hoping to see how bad the burns were, maybe there was something he could do. He did know a little bit about herbs and healing, he often had to help heal the others and himself after a difficult battle. As Touya took one of Yusuke's hands in is own, Yusuke sighed relief. The penetrating heat that existed only to him and his burnt flesh, lifted, as Touya's coolness flowed into him. Yusuke now readily gave his other hand to Touya, and found the affects even more soothing. Touya glanced up at Yusuke when he sighed, and saw a feeling of calmness and ease in Yusuke's face that he had not seen in some time. Touya's mouth twinged slightly in what would have been a smile if he could get his face to open up any further. Touya took the other offered hand, glad to help in any small way.

"Come here," said Yusuke, tugging Touya's still pitifully light body into his lap. Touya let himself relax against Yusuke's body, and Yusuke wrapped his arms around Touya. So comfortable were they both now, they fell asleep; Yusuke holding Touya almost protectively, and Touya turned sideways, pressing his cheek to Yusuke's, his arms gently wrapped around Yusuke's neck, and Yusuke was quick to note that it caused a much greater comfort. Apparently Touya's coolness was being carried around in Yusuke's blood, entering the bloodstream by way of his jugular. Whatever, Yusuke wasn't complaining, it felt so much better! Even Touya's slight weight against burned, scarred skin was negated by the cool waves he sent off.

* * *

Keiko fished the key out of her purse, deciding she would surprise Yusuke and apologize for how mean she'd been after he hadn't told her -again!- that he was going on a mission. Okay, maybe she wouldn't apologize, but how could **he** apologize when she hadn't yet given him an opening?

Having found the key, Keiko opened the door and walked into the kitchen. "Yusuke!" she shouted, seeing the way he held Touya, and stormed off. Touya and Yusuke shook awake just in time to see Keiko slam the door shut.

"Uh-oh," was all Yusuke could say.

"I... it's my fault, I should explain to her for you," said Touya slowly.

"No, no, it's my fault, I'll deal with her. But first she needs time to cool off a little," was Yusuke's quick, almost dismissive reply. Touya bowed his head in apology, and couldn't help noticing how beautiful Yusuke's chest was, and he quickly looked back up to Yusuke's face and those big, wonderful chocolate eyes.

Just then, the oven bleeped ((yes, bleeped!)) and Touya scrambled up, pulled on the oven mitts and pulled out the lasagna, grateful in a way that it had happened before he did something he would regret. Standing up with the tray in his hands, the heat from the oven, and his opressive thought, and all that had happened...it blanketed him... Touya blanked out, and then blacked out.

((Hmmm, I had not originally thought to have Touya black out.... Now what? LOL, don't worry; it'll come to me. This will be fun. - hears inspiration knocking brb I got to get that!))


	11. Bisexual? Of course NOT!

"How dare he? First, he neglects to tell me he got another mission, again! And then I come in and he's cuddling with Touya? WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT?! And does that mean he's gay? If he's gay, what does that say about me? He had better just be Bi; otherwise he's really dead, instead of just kind of dead. And he had his shirt off! And Touya in his lap like some sort of really fucked up Santa Claus! What does Touya want for Christmas, a few new toys huh?" Keiko muttered.

She was pretty much just wandering, though she finally decided on where to go. "I'll go see Yukina. Maybe she can tell me something about them. And maybe Atsuko-san. I'll have to track her down sometime when she's not drunk," she declared, and made her way to Genkai's temple. Yusuke had a lot of explaining to do, not as though Keiko would listen if he did. At least not for a few weeks.

"Oh SHIT!" Yusuke yelled, hopping up as he saw Touya waver and fall. He wasn't able to get over to Touya soon enough, however, and the unconscious Ice demon fell most unluckily onto the open door of the oven.

((A/N, as I believe is standard, the door opens downwards for Yusuke's oven, So Touya is, in essence, laying on REALLY hot metal. Which can't be good for his complexion. -))

Streams of expletives in any language that readily came to mind flew from Yusuke's mouth as he quickly tugged Touya off the oven. I'm glad he's wearing all those layers of shirts and stuff he had when I first met him instead of the jeans and t-shirts I lent him. Yusuke thought hurriedly.

He pulled Touya's body into his arms, trying to hold him in a way that would be as comfortable to both of them as possible. Panicking, it didn't even occur to Yusuke to rub some aloe on Touya's burns, even though the bottle he had been using was right on the table. Instead, he headed straight out the door to Genkai's were Yukina was. He hoped desperately she could wake Touya, as he awkwardly searched for a pulse in Touya's wrist as he ran.

Keiko entered Genkai's temple and saw Yukina stoking a fire at the hearth. Kuwabara and Kurama sat laughing next to her, and Hiei, as usual, made a fine window decoration.

"Yukina, did you happen to notice anything funny between Touya and Yusuke lately?" Keiko asked, not bothering to be too discreet. If Yusuke was bi, that was tough for him. It would be hilarious to watch Kuwabara and Hiei mock him.

Yukina frowned; she hadn't expected that! "Beyond Touya being extremely clingy, not really. He was pretty disconsolate when he and the others left I suppose, and he was real upset about Yusuke's burns, though we all were."

Hiei briefly interrupted- "Speak for yourself. He should have gotten worse for being so careless. Although I suppose I should have too." Hiei looked contemplatively at his hand, still strangely red and shiny, especially compared with the rest of his pale, dull skin. ((To larka-san and anyone who's read "Old Man and the Sea" – "Darn you hand!" Hmmm, no jellyfish to call a whore here though... LOL ok-done))

Yukina frowned and made Hiei's trademark noise. "Hn. At any rate, I don't know Touya well enough to suppose whether his attachment is anything beyond gratitude and his need for someone to help protect him from whoever must have raped him. And even if I did know him better, he's probably going through some major changes in the way he thinks and acts after something like that."

"I guess." Keiko said quietly. "That still doesn't explain Yusuke's behavior." She muttered.

"What?" asked Kuwabara. He snickered. "What was Yusuke doing to bring up such a question? Huh?"

Keiko grimaced. "I went to his house to apologize to him, or let him apologize to me, and I walked into the kitchen and-"

Keiko was cut off as the door slammed open and Yusuke tumbled in with Touya in his arms. "Yukina, he just fainted! I don't know why he just! All of a sudden he was on the ground! Well, not really the ground, see, he fell on the oven door, so he's all burnt and god, what happened, why did he faint?" Yusuke cried as he set Touya down and Yukina scrambled over to him.

"Kuwabara, run go get me some bandages and aloe!" she yelled, gently placing a hand on Touya's neck to find a pulse. Successful, she found his breathing rate was normal too. "Touya, wake up, don't you do this to us," she mumbled, patting his cheek gently. Although this cheek was unburned, it was still marked red with someone's handprint-Jin's, though they didn't know it. It was the only remaining mark of what had happened and it had never faded.

Kuwabara returned with Yukina's basketful of gauze bandages and a jar of aloe Yukina had prepared herself. "Here." Kuwabara said, setting down the basket and jar right next to her.

Yusuke was still sobbing when Keiko commented hatefully, "What, were you too B hard /B on your new toy? Reunion get a little too rough??"

Yusuke looked up at her astounded. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"What, you two aren't lovers now? You looked damn cozy to me when I walked in on you two!" Keiko said, her voice raising an octave.

Kuwabara and Hiei's ears perked up a little, and Yukina shook her head. Touya was lying unconscious and apparently all Keiko could think about was Yusuke's sexual orientation? Of course, Kuwabara and Hiei were eager to find dirt on Yusuke so they both were just tons of help to her as well. At least Kurama was trying to help; he had mumbled something about making some sort of restorative quickly from her herb store before walking to her storage room, presumably to do as he said.

Yukina began looking to Touya's burns, knowing that since Touya's condition was stable, there wasn't much else she could do until Kurama returned with something to help wake Touya up.

"What? You thought- Of course not! It's just that his touch made me feel better. AHH! That sounded bad, I mean, it helped the burning to go away... 'Cuz he's linked with ice, I guess," was Yusuke's fumbling response.

"Sure Yusuke," Keiko said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Yukina finally interrupted. "If you two need to sort out your domestic problems, please go somewhere else until you're done."

Keiko scowled. "No, I think I'll go. I hope your boyfriend feels better, Yusuke." Hiei and Kuwabara grinned. Touya continued to lie like the dead. Except breathing.... And with a pulse.... ((STOP MOCKING ME! LOL))


	12. Jin Searches

"'Ow the 'ell am I gonna find Urameshi now?" Jin asked his winds, flying about the Makai. For the moment, he wasn't keen on going to the Ningenkai, since he still didn't really know where to look. On the bright side, at least he knew that Touya would be safe. Urameshi was a good man, for all his tough guy act, and Jin knew this intrinsically.

Frustrated, Jin tried to reason out where Yusuke might be. However, such things as using his head for anything but a battering ram were foreign to him; that was Gama's and Touya's job. Lucky him, neither were handy. It finally occurred to him that Yusuke seemed Japanese, maybe he lived in Japan. But then Kurama dressed like he was Chinese... Oh well, both countries were about the same place on the globe, and Japan was smaller, he'd try there first.

"Good enuff fer me!" Jin shouted and began racing through the air to the border. Reaching it, he crossed to the Ningenkai, to begin a hopeless quest to check all of Japan, and then, if necessary, all of China and the world, to find Touya.

After a week searching Tokyo, Jin was thoroughly discouraged. No one with any worthwhile ki seemed to be around, but even though the strength of Yusuke's or one of the other's ki would have been a red flag in such a place, there was so much to wade through.

Any small hope he'd gained that he might find Touya from meeting the ferryman vanished. He would have to try and find other resources. If nothing else turned up, he would continue his search, but it was made painfully clear to him that if he didn't try to narrow down his range further, he would die long before he got close to Touya, unless, of course, he was insanely lucky. And while much of his life had been insanely lucky, Touya meant too much to Jin to trust to luck, and it seems he had run short of luck just recently anyhow.

He fled Tokyo, heading along the coastline to find somewhere he could be alone to think some more.

" 'Aight then, 'ho migh' know where Urameshi lives. Betta' question: 'ho do **_I_** know tha' migh' know where Urameshi lives?" Jin said aloud, having found a patch of rocky coast he could have to himself. He sat and thought a while, but no one came to mind, not that he knew. "'Aight, back ta the firs' question, I guess." Now a few people came to mind. Koenma, Botan, the Tournament board, that weird guy Sakyo, and his pet youkai Toguro. "Can I talk ta any a' them?"


	13. Touya Awakes

Hiei snorted, "Your bi, Yusuke? You sure don't act the part."

"Shut-up Hiei! Besides, we all know your gay!" Yusuke scowled. He wasn't bi- but something kept him from denying it....

Hiei's grin widened. "Since you didn't deny it I suppose I can finally tell you all the fantasies I've had about you..." Yusuke, Kuwabara and Yukina all **stared** at him. Hiei shook his head. "Just kidding." He stood and sat back on the windowsill.

"That was weird.... Shortie made a joke...." Kuwabara said, and Yusuke snickered. Yukina sighed and began tending Touya's burns again. "Back to the important issues.... The Great Urameshi Yusuke is Bi!!!!" Kuwabara laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world and soon found Yusuke's fist buried in what once was a working, if not good, face.

"Both of you, SHUT THE BLOODY FUCK UP!" said Yusuke with a menacing scowl. "I can kick both yall's asses, and you both know it!" Hiei and Kuwabara were quiet, but still couldn't suppress the occasional snicker. Yusuke sighed. "So, Yukina, anything yet?"

"Well, he's stable, breathing, he has a good pulse, etc. There's not much I can do until Kurama cooks up some sort of restorative. I would, but he's just as good at that kind of thing, so I might as well work on these burns." Yusuke cringed, if he'd just been faster!

"Let me help then," he said. Yukina nodded and Hiei and Kuwabara laughed again. They were silenced by a glare, as Yusuke began rubbing the aloe on Touya's burned skin, then wrapping it with the gauze bandages. Moron, why didn't you put aloe on him before? You panicked and didn't bother to see if he was breathing or anything and ran out right away. Yusuke thought to himself dejectedly. If something happened to Touya....

Kurama came in holding a vial of crimson liquid after about 20 minutes. Touya was the same as before, and the room was silent. Kurama looked around wondrously and nearly dropped his vile at the wide grin on Hiei's face, and the fact the he and Kuwabara were actually talking to each other quietly occasionally and laughing. "What happened?" he murmured, kneeling next to Touya and tipping the eerie liquid down Touya's throat. Yusuke watched somewhat apprehensively as the stuff slid thickly out of the glass vile and down Touya's throat. Kurama followed it with a glass of water he pulled from god only knows where ((possibly from his hair snicker snicker ))

Touya coughed and his eyes sprang open then painfully shut again. Slowly they opened again, much less wider than before. "Uhg, what... What happened to me, Yusuke?" Touya asked.

Yusuke sighed gratefully. "Not sure. You fainted and fell on the oven door. That's why your left arm, hand, and the left side of your face are all burnt. You had us worried. I've seen you unconscious before, I'd rather not again, unless you're just sleeping..." Yusuke amended. Hiei and Kuwabara snickered again, drawing another glare from Yusuke.

"Oh..." Touya sighed, looking at the bandaged arm and wincing. He brought his right hand to his face and found it sticky. Aloe. It stung just thinking about it, so Touya tried to think of something else, rather unsuccessfully at first.

"You're okay, right?" Yukina asked. Touya nodded. "Well, you were lucky, kind of. Your burns are few and they're not strong because Yusuke pulled you off the oven before you had time to get burned very badly. And you came to easily, also." Yukina grinned weakly.

"We should go," Yusuke and Touya said in union. Hiei and Kuwabara burst out laughing. This time Yukina silenced Hiei and Kuwabara with her own glare, and the added intensity of Kurama's had Hiei quaking, Yusuke satisfactorily had Kuwabara nearly pissing his pants.

Touya's face reflected puzzlement. "Why are they laughing?" He asked. Yusuke just shook his head and grabbed Touya's good hand, rather roughly pulling him up. Touya wavered a moment before gaining balance. Yusuke's face showed slight apprehension when Touya wavered, relieved when Touya was okay. They walked out, Touya practically dragged by Yusuke who wanted to get AWAY from Kuwabara's and Hiei's taunting and laughing.

After they were a ways off Yusuke let go of Touya's hand, angry with Touya in a vague, reasonless way, more angry with Hiei and Kuwabara, most angry with himself. Yusuke looked back at Touya and regret himself; the poor, abused little ice demon was clearly upset. Yusuke sighed. "I'm sorry Touya, I shouldn't have been rough on you like that. I just took some of my anger out on you, which was wrong," Yusuke said. Touya nodded, silent. Yusuke shook his head. "Look, please, don't you be upset with me too! Keiko's mad, mom's mad, Hiei and Kuwabara think they found something new to tease me about, course it's not true but.... I don't have many people left to talk to, and I didn't have many to start out with!"

Touya smiled weakly. "What are they saying?"

"That I'm Bi." Yusuke said after a pause. Touya stopped a moment then scrambled to catch back up to Yusuke. "Why'd you stop?"

"No reason." Touya said.

Yusuke looked at him oddly. "You're lying again, Touya."

Touya grinned. "Caught."

"C'mon, we'll stop at a fast food place somewhere on the way to get something to eat. The lasagna you made will have long since gotten burnt, probably." Yusuke said after a while. They stopped at a Burger King and ate before returning to home and going to bed. Yusuke offered to share but Touya refused, saying it was a bit small for the both of them- he would stay on the futon tonight.


	14. Damn it!

Yusuke woke with a sigh, whispering, "Damn it!" He sat up and noticed Touya was already up and gone and he groaned. "God, No-one's in a good mood with me anymore. Or else they are but it's no good to me...," he trailed off, thinking of Kuwabara and Hiei. He understood why they were laughing at him, he understood why his mom and Keiko were mad, but what the hell was Touya's problem? Touya had never become truly open, but still, he hadn't been that icy towards Yusuke since... God, had Touya ever seemed icy towards him? Certainly difficult to read or know, but that was something Yusuke attributed to his lack of social skills. Touya had never seemed like this before. It was like he was angry or hurt or something.

Yusuke sighed again, pulling on his clothes and walking down to the kitchen to make something to eat. "Oh, fuck it," last night he'd been to tired to ever actually clean the mess the lasagna made when Touya collapsed. Now he'd have THAT to deal with as well. "Great, isn't life just peachy?!" He scowled, grabbing some paper towels.

He scooped most the burnt lasagna back into the tray it came in and threw it out. Then he came back with a wet sponge and some disinfectant crap ((A/N those, I believe, were his exact words when I asked teehee!)) and cleaned off the oven door and the floor of any remaining lasagna. He put that stuff away and pulled out a kitchen chair, sitting down and wondering what now. He was about to throw together some breakfast when he noticed noise from the garage.

Off he went to check. When he opened the door he saw Touya diligently working on his lessons, practicing some scales and simple melodies Yusuke taught him. Touya glanced up and saw Yusuke in the doorway and stopped. "I didn't wake you up, did I?" he asked quietly. "I thought I had the volume down..." he trailed off.

"Nah, I should have been off my lazy ass sooner," Yusuke replied. "You're definitely getting better, and you only just started too. Lucky," he continued, nodding appreciatively.

Touya blushed slightly. "Thanks," was all he would say.

Yusuke sighed. It's too early to have already sighed so many times he thought to himself. "Look, is something wrong? I don't tend to be quick on picking up simple concepts, but I'm not totally dense. You were obviously stressed last night when you fainted, and you looked upset the rest of the night too. I was just getting used to you having loosened up a little and stuff and then you pull this on me? That's no way to be," Yusuke said, ending with a trivial smile.

Touya looked at him a few moments and shook his head. "It's nothing." In a shockingly abrupt change of subject, Touya then added "I'd like you to teach me to read and write like ningens."

Yusuke nodded. "That's right, I keep forgetting you don't know how to. I will, but not right now, my head is still throbbing from having just woken up. I needa eat."

((A/N too much eating to get a story in! god it's one thing to be realistic but we're taking this too far. Yusuke, time for a diet!))


	15. Alphabet

After eating, Yusuke lead Touya back to his room and began going through his drawers for paper and pencils. "Thank god it's summer..." he mumbled. Touya stood waiting, somewhat uncomfortably, for Yusuke to find what he was looking for. Smiling triumphantly, Yusuke stood with the required items. "Found!"

Touya grinned slightly. Then a thoughtful expression crossed Yusuke's face.

"Guess we'll have to work on the kitchen table, you sure can't use my desk, all the crap piled on it," Yusuke said and Touya nodded, looking at the mountain of odds and ends heaped on what, at one time, must have been Yusuke's desk.

And so they headed back out and cleared away a couple placemats, and each took a seat. "Kay, I guess we should start with the alphabet. We'll go through it a couple letters at a time. I'll give the letter, sounds it makes, and a word to remember it by, right?" Touya nodded, wondering what Yusuke meant by 'giving' him a letter. He saw soon enough as Yusuke wrote down a capital and small A. Touya realized Yusuke meant for him to copy it and did, not quite as small as Yusuke's, but neater. "A starts the word attack, and makes a sound like ah or ay." Yusuke said. They continued in more or less the same fashion through the whole alphabet, though Yusuke did get Touya to grin when he used their names for T and Y.

"All right. Why don't you try folding over the paper and see how many you can remember while I go to the bathroom." Yusuke scurried off and Touya began writing down the letters he remembered, keeping them in order but for a few. When Yusuke returned he saw Touya chewing his pencil and frowning. There wasn't much written on the paper.

"Not as easy as you thought?" Yusuke said, grinning.

Touya scowled at him. "Can't remember what they look like. Or even what there all called," he sighed and leaned back.

"God I'm a moron," Yusuke mumbled before continuing. "I forgot, there's this stupid little song that goes with'em. Like I said it's kinda stupid sounding, but it'll help you remember them in order and stuff." Yusuke sang 'the stupid little song' and Touya nodded slowly.

"That does help a little," he said, jotting down a few more he'd remembered. He sighed again. "Still don't remember what they all look like though."

"You realize you can check back to help you remember if you want. You're not taking a test..." Yusuke said, grinning. Touya blushed and did so, copying the ones he'd missed and changing ones he had in the wrong order. "Kay, just keep practicing for a while. Once you got it down talk to me again and I'll quiz you."

Touya glared at Yusuke and continued working. He had been expecting Yusuke would help him more. In the mean time, Yusuke left, telling Touya he'd be back later, he was going to go get some groceries, and more pizza. Touya brightened a little hearing that and began working more avidly.

((A/N yes, technically Yusuke should be teaching Touya Japanese, but I don't feel like dealing with that. Anyone know konji and whatever the other alphabet thing is called? LOL))


	16. Jin Finds Botan

Jin had been searching for a way to enter the Reikai that didn't involve killing himself. Eventually, he succeeded, though he was a long way from Koenma's palace. However, he closed the distance rather quickly, flying faster than he could remember ever having done. He was so distracted; he almost crashed into Botan, who flew out of the way moments before.  
  
"JIN?!" Botan yelped, chasing after him. Both she and Koenma knew exactly what he'd done to Touya from the records, but they had refrained from telling the others since, apparently, Touya didn't want to share. They also knew that Jin wasn't fully aware of just all he'd done. They had been keeping tabs on him since Touya had stayed with Yusuke, deciding that it would be advantageous to be informed.  
  
Jin stopped with a huff. "Botan! Thank God!" He flew back to her, then in stride, so to speak, as they both headed towards the castle.  
  
"Why are you here, Jin?" Botan asked carefully.  
  
"I gotta find Touya! I think 'e's stayin' with Urameshi, so I figur'd you guys would be able ta' tell me where ta' look!" He said, speaking in an even greater rush then normal. With the thick accent, the way he slurred some of his words, and the unusually heightened speed, Botan couldn't understand a word he said.  
  
She frowned, "Again, slower please." She said.  
  
Jin sighed. "Da' you lot know where Touya's at?" He asked, striving to be understood this time.  
  
Botan paused a moment. "Why?"  
  
Jin stopped in front of her and stared a moment. "I gotta apologize!" He said breathlessly.  
  
Botan's eyes widened. She hated to ask this and make Jin have to go through it, but she needed to know how much Jin remembered. "Just what all did you do to him. Everything you remember."  
  
Jin shifted uneasily. "I'm not sure a' e'rything. I got drunk. I dun' tend ta' r'member much the day aft'r. I know I beat 'im. And Reisho an' Bakken said I kissed 'im firs'," he said. "I dun' r'member anymor'."  
  
Botan shook her head. "Well, we don't know where he's at."  
  
Jin was devastated, but quickly countered, "Nu-uh, I see it in 'ur eyes, 'ur lyin'! Where is 'e damn'it!" Jin grabbed Botan's shoulders, his face maybe an inch from hers. Her face showed her fear clearly. ((LOL, Botan is thinking, if We were anime chars, my nose would be blue and I'd have a lil sweat drop and Jin would have those weird lil' pulsing nerve/blood vessel thingies on his head LOL))


	17. Lessons

It only took Touya a few days to have the alphabet memorized frontwards and backwards, and so Yusuke started showing him vowels and consonants, letter blends, and began showing him to form simple words. This took Touya longer to get, but only because there was more to learn, and it wasn't just rote memorization. Yusuke found it kind of creepy how quickly and eagerly Touya learned all he was taught. ((LOL toy-chan is smart!))  
  
"If you keep going at this pace, then in a couple months you'll have to go to the high school 'cuz I won't know anymore to teach." Yusuke once said jokingly.  
  
Touya grinned. "Are you saying I'm smart or you're not?" He had gotten used to joking back and forth with Yusuke, though with anyone else, he would have remained silent.  
  
Yusuke knocked him on the head playfully. "I think both." Touya laughed, before returning to the small book he had. Although it wasn't precisely a children's book, it certainly wasn't U Tale of Two Cities U either. It was probably on a third grade reading level, so at least it did have something of a plot. ((For those of you in England and other places where you have forms or w/e, not grades, I'm not sure what level 3rd grade is, but roughly a book for a nine-ten year old, like something by Judy Blume maybe.)) Touya had found the other books incredibly frustrating. 'See spot run' is not exactly an intriguing novel, after all. He had been reading it out loud so Yusuke could figure out if they needed to work on anything else in particular.  
  
Except for starting to work more on grammar, there wasn't much else Touya needed. Somehow, he had acquired an excellent vocabulary, and Yusuke had once joked that it must have been before he met Jin. Touya had tensed and remained silent a moment, before mumbling, yes, it was.  
  
"Katari and Reika began to. what's this word again?" Touya asked, pointing to the word in question.  
  
Yusuke stepped over and sat next to Touya on the bed, looking at the page. "Quarrel."  
  
Touya continued, and after a while, Yusuke dropped off, leaning against Touya's shoulder. Touya looked at him, not sure whether to glare for Yusuke having fallen asleep, or grin for Yusuke's body gently leaning against his. In the end he sighed and slowly relaxed, also sleeping.  
  
He woke to a hand carefully brushing his bangs away from his face. Yusuke blushed. "You were acting like they were tickling you in your sleep, so I figured."  
  
"Thanks." Touya grinned. He got up, "I want to go practice on the guitar." Yusuke smiled and followed as Touya lead the way to the garage. He had learned how to hook up his guitar to the appropriate electrical equipment, though he still had no idea how any of it worked. Yusuke set his own guitar up and they began practicing.


	18. Touya's Song

"You really are good!" Yusuke said; putting away the sheet music he had gotten for Touya. Touya had memorized the songs in only a day or two, easily. He also had a good ear, and had come up with a few interesting pieces just sitting around goofing off, though he never remembered what he'd done when he'd finished. Yusuke did the same thing often enough.  
  
Touya grinned. "I actually have been working on a song while you've been at school." Touya pulled a couple pieces of paper from his pocket, one was the sheet music he'd written, and the other was the lyrics.  
  
Yusuke nodded, impressed, but frowned slightly, looking over the lyrics. "Kind of grim, isn't it?" Touya only stared. Yusuke shifted uncomfortably, "Well, let's hear it then!" Touya began playing, filling the room with the sound of the guitar, and then his voice! Yusuke's jaw almost dropped at the soft, sweet melancholy tones that Touya sang as he let out his anger and sadness in this song. Touya finished, and Yusuke stared, shocked. He brought a hand to his face and found a tear.  
  
It was Touya's turn to shift nervously, "Well?"  
  
Yusuke finally found his voice. "OMIGOD!" He grabbed Touya in a tight, fierce hug. "You! You! Well, I think I've found a singer for the band. Your voice, Touya! I've never heard anything so. It was like a broken angel's!" Yusuke said, Touya blushed and grinned proudly.  
  
"And the song?"  
  
"The lyrics were good, the melody, rhythm etc. were powerful, and the follow through was excellent, especially without any back up! It was like, I forgot who I was a moment, in the sorrow, and longing and hate! Oh god, Touya! Where did all that come from?" Yusuke said, holding Touya in his arms, rather awkwardly because of Touya's guitar. He pulled away to look Touya in the face, his hands still resting lightly on Touya's slender hips.  
  
Touya looked away. "I. I'd rather not say." Yusuke grimaced.  
  
"It has to do with whoever raped you, doesn't it? I can't remember the exact words but you said that in the song, didn't you? He tricked you, stole away your innocence. You love him and hate him at once." Yusuke questioned. Touya nodded slowly. Yusuke pulled the guitar from Touya, placing it down on the ground carefully before pulling Touya into a slow, comforting embrace. He thought to himself, There's so much I don't know about Touya. Things he won't tell me, things I won't ask.


	19. Shakuhachi

Touya lay on a couch in the den, lazing about like he used to never be able to, and making up for lost time in a way. He held a shakuhachi he had stolen a few days before. He had learned some time before joining the Shinobi as a way to amuse himself, and once he joined, Jin and Gama often liked to listen to him play or sing as well. He knew a handful of demon ballads and a few folk songs and such, and he now began playing a favorite that told of a war between two of the former Makai lords, ages before Raizen, Mukuro and Yomi. It told of the devastating, warped beauty of war. Of flames and hatred as a sensational woman, of death as an enticing slut, of the darkness as a famed mistress.  
  
Yusuke stepped in quietly, and Touya didn't even notice his presence as Yusuke listened to the song on the shakuhachi. Touya finished, laying down the Japanese flute with a sigh.  
  
"You owe me. I want lessons on that." Yusuke said, and Touya started a moment, hating being caught off guard instinctively, and also because, with the Shinobi, being caught off guard could be fatal.  
  
He calmed quickly, seeing Yusuke. "You want me to teach you to play the Shakuhachi?" he questioned.  
  
"Yup." Yusuke said. "It sounds so cool. And it might be neat to incorporate into a song for the band sometime." Yusuke shrugged.  
  
Touya nodded. "But if I sing and you play the drums?." he asked, trailing off.  
  
"So the song might not have words or percussion. What's wrong with that once in a while?" Yusuke smiled.  
  
Touya smiled back, "I'll steal you a shakuhachi later then and I'll teach you."  
  
"Don't get caught!" Yusuke laughed, imagining a shinobi who had escaped capture by all the Reikai tantei for mortal years being caught by some silly store ningen.  
  
Touya's grin widened. "I think not."


	20. Leave Him Alone

Jin began shaking Botan by shoulders roughly, "Where is 'e?! A' leas' take me ta' Koenma-sama! Mebbe, 'E'll tell me sumat'!" He yelled, and Botan quailed under him. God, but Jin was violent when the mood struck him!  
  
"I'll take you to Koenma-sama then Jin, but it won't do any good!" She yelled at him. He stopped shaking her and nodded with a huff.  
  
"C'mon, le's go!" he said, flying off towards Koenma's castle. Botan followed quickly. Since time passed differently in the Reikai, Jin wasn't sure how long it took to get there, but it was too long. Botan lead him back to Koenma, looking quite miffed. She pushed open the door to his office, which, surprisingly, was not full of ogre's trying to get Koenma to sign this or approve that.  
  
"Botan? Jin? What's up?" Koenma asked, his brow furrowed very slightly.  
  
"Where's Touya, ya' 'av ta' know!" Jin said, sounding desperate.  
  
"Why?" asked Koenma, raising an eyebrow quizzically.  
  
Jin sighed in exasperation; he'd already been through this! "I needa' 'pologize!" he growled.  
  
Behind Jin, Botan shook her head. Koenma sighed. "Even if we knew Jin, we couldn't tell you. There are strict rules about information, and the location of people such as former members of the Shinobi is not something given lightly. Even to you." Koenma added when Jin looked about to argue.  
  
Jin growled. "You KNOW where he is, pip-squeak. Tell me, now." He commanded.  
  
Koenma scowled behind the ubiquitous pacifier. "Look Jin, I know why you're angry. But we will not tell you where Touya is. He doesn't want to see you. You hurt him, worse than you remember even. The best you can do for him is leave him alone, forget about him. He's happy, and I think that's what ALL of us want, right?"  
  
"'Aight." Jin said hopelessly. "Touya? 'E. 'E doesn't, doesn't want ta' see me? At'all?" Koenma nodded. "You're sure? Does 'e really want me gone?" Another nod. Jin nodded back. "Fine. Don't tell 'im I came then." Jin sighed and left, flying much more slowly than before.  
  
"I. I guess, I'll go ta' the Ningenkai. Maybe, maybe I'll fin' 'im and I can jus'. jus' see 'e's ok." Jin flew to the Ningenkai, and wandered disconsolately when he arrived.


	21. Another Boarder

Touya looked at Hiei, strange expression on his face. He then looked at Yusuke, "He's staying?"  
  
Yusuke shrugged, "Well, I've gotta teach him to play guitar too. Anyhow, he'll get the guest room."  
  
Hiei smirked, "That's right. I don't want to interrupt anything after all."  
  
Touya blushed, and though Yusuke didn't notice, Hiei did, to his great amusement. Yusuke took the offensive regarding the statement, and stepped up and punched Hiei in his stomach.  
  
Hiei bent over, clutching his gut, gasping, "God Urameshi. You've never been that quick before, I guess Touya really means that much to you, huh?" he said, smirking again. He stood again, fully composed, in time for Yusuke to take another swing at him. This time, Hiei was prepared, and dodged, striking Yusuke's chest. Yusuke barely noticed, fuming, and kicked at Hiei, who fell to his knees. "All right! Fine, leave me alone." Hiei said, not wanting to get in a fight with Urameshi Yusuke. Last time he had he'd been defeated, if only barely, and while he had grown stronger since then, so too, had Yusuke, that much was obvious.  
  
Yusuke continued scowling, and Touya walked away, expression carefully blank. Yusuke walked after him, "Did you get another shakuhachi so you could teach me?" he asked. Hiei snorted, going to the room he'd been allotted.  
  
Touya nodded, "Yeah, it's with mine." He continued to the room he shared with Yusuke. Yusuke followed and Touya pulled out the two shackuhachis. ((LOL that looks funny! Shakuhachis!))  
  
"Here." Touya handed Yusuke the second. "Ok then, basics." Touya began to show Yusuke how to play the shakuhachi.  
  
After an hour or two, Hiei walked into the room. "Yusuke, are you going to teach me to play or should I leave?" He propped himself carelessly against the doorframe, and Yusuke put down the shakuhachi with a sigh.  
  
"You going to come practice to Touya?" Yusuke asked, standing and heading to the door.  
  
Touya followed, "Yeah, I could use it." Yusuke snickered, despite Touya's inherent talent; he always seemed to think he needed the practice desperately. Hiei let them lead him down to the garage.  
  
Touya hooked up his guitar and got another one for Hiei set up. "Here." He said, handing it off. He took his up and began practicing the song he'd written before.  
  
Yusuke, about to start teaching Hiei, stopped. "Listen to Touya," he said to Hiei, then to Touya, "Sing it for us. We'll show Hiei part of what being in the band means, hold up while I get on the drums." Yusuke sat at his drums; glad he and Touya had worked out his part of the music before. Yusuke counted off, knocking his drumsticks together at each count. They began, and Hiei listened, looking increasingly interested.  
  
The last vibrations of Touya's guitar faded away and Yusuke smiled at Hiei. "Whadja think?"  
  
Hiei nodded. "Good. So what do you need me for then?"  
  
Yusuke said, "Well, it's nice to have backup and stuff. And I figure you'd come up with some interesting songs too, once you know how." Hiei nodded, and Yusuke got up, taking his guitar up once again, to teach Hiei. Touya nodded and began practicing on his again; the song he'd written, those Yusuke had given him sheet music for, and a few improvised pieces he made up as he went along.


	22. Crystal Tears

Yusuke was smiling like he'd gone insane and he scooped up Touya in a huge hug. "We've got our first gig!" It had been six months since Hiei had moved in and started learning to play, and while he took to it easily, he was not as natural as Touya. It had been found the Kuwabara actually could play bass guitar quite well, and the four of them became a band. Since, Touya and Hiei had been the primary songwriters.  
  
Touya grinned at Yusuke, hugging back. "We do? Where?"  
  
Yusuke's grin grew, if that was possible, "At The Pulse!" Touya nodded, looking somewhat impressed; The Pulse was a very popular hangout for the stereotypical 'punk/goth' crowd. It was almost always packed, so they would probably have a good turnout, even if the people weren't actually there for them.  
  
"Good. Question: What are we naming the band?" Yusuke let go and stepped away, taking a more contemplative pose.  
  
"I've been thinking about that. Let's go find Kuwabara and Hiei so we can decide a name." Both were easy to find; Hiei was in his room sharpening his katana, and Kuwabara was quite predictably at Genkai's to see Yukina.  
  
"So, any ideas?" Yusuke asked to the assembled group.  
  
Kuwabara grinned, "Three queers and a straight guy!" Touya blushed and Hiei and Yusuke both buried their fists in Kuwabara's face. Kuwabara picked himself back off the ground mumbling, "Just a joke."  
  
Hiei shrugged, "I don't really care. You three decide." Yusuke and Kuwabara began debating names, and had been arguing for perhaps 15 minutes when Touya spoke up, "Crystal tears. Because mine freeze when I cry, and because of Hiei's heritage, his would become gems, I believe." Hiei scowled at Touya, how the fuck did he know that?  
  
Yusuke, Kuwabara, and even Hiei considered a moment, when Yusuke said, "Yes, that sounds cool. And it kinda describes our music style: sort of cool and emo-esque. Sort of like that American group Evanescence, but a little rougher, no synths or keyboards." Kuwabara nodded and Hiei tilted his head in assent. Yusuke grinned, "Crystal Tears it is then!" Touya smiled slightly.


	23. You're Drunk

Ha! This one is all highly suspenseful, and just to get fans going -OMG UPDATE!- I'm going to leave it all cliffy for a while! ((and then someone will threaten me with a raven spork and say 'update or DIE!" and I shall cringe and update with haste!))

* * *

Yusuke answered the door, and gave some money to the pizza deliveryman. "Pizza's here!" he called out, taking the very hot boxes from the deliveryman, and heading for the kitchen with them. Touya was there almost instantly; soon joined by Hiei. Touya began pulling out the plates and then took his share.  
  
"Thank you, Yusuke!" Touya grinned, taking three slices. Hiei turned up his nose, noting once again how drastically Touya had changed from the cold, almost emotionless youkai they'd defeated at the Dark Tournament.  
  
Yusuke grinned, "You came up with the band name, I should thank you!" Touya smiled around a mouthful of pizza.  
  
Hiei shuddered. "I'll go eat alone. I trust you don't need a chaperone?" He ducked out before Yusuke beat him to death, taking some pizza with him- better than Yusuke's cooking, though that didn't say much.  
  
Yusuke scowled at Hiei's receding figure before pulling out his own pizza. ((GAHH! What about his diet? LOL)) He then proceeded to get out a bottle of his mother's sake. Touya stared at the bottle a moment before swallowing his current bite of pizza and asking, "You drink?"  
  
Yusuke glanced at him, "Yeah, sometimes, want some?"  
  
Touya slowly said, "No." He sounded almost.. Afraid.  
  
"You sure? We got plenty. And you, unlike me, are likely to be of age!" Yusuke laughed.  
  
"That's fine." Touya finished the rest of his pizza with an uncomfortable silence, much like he was right after they'd found him after the Dark Tournament. He kept a careful eye on Yusuke during that time, relieved that Yusuke had only one drink, and did not appear to be drunk: at least not substantially. Bad things happened too often Touya when people he knew got drunk. He left quietly, retreating to their shared room.  
  
When Yusuke finally went back, after having been watching T.V. for a few hours, Touya was asleep. "He is beautiful." Yusuke muttered, wondering again, as had been increasingly more over the past six months, if maybe he was off the straight after all.  
  
He decided to find out. He knelt down beside Touya, gently letting his lips fall to Touya's. While he closed his eyes, Touya's fluttered open, and then Yusuke felt Touya shrinking from him. "No. You're drunk. Just like he was. Don't do this, Yusuke. Please don't," he whispered, tears gathering at the corner of his crystalline blue eyes.


	24. Jin's Fading Hope

Jin walked across a quiet, uninhabited island, one of many off Japan's coast. Tears had fallen almost non-stop down his cheeks since leaving Koenma's office. They fell slow and silent and scorching. Finally they began to stop, the intervals between tears greater and greater till not another tear fell. Yet, though it had been months of tears, he still felt as though there were more, simply waiting.  
  
Since that day, he had lost interest in almost everything. He no longer enjoyed flying, or eating or laughing. All he wanted was to die, but he didn't care enough to kill himself. And even still, he clung to a tiny, desperate hope that Koenma had been wrong; that Touya would want him back; that Touya would find out he'd been looking; that Touya would show up behind that next shadow there.  
  
His eyes were dull and glassed, his clothes torn and stained, his hair tangled and dirty, his ears drooped like they had never in his life done before, his body thin, scarred and weak, his face smudged and emotionless. The hope in him was like a floating candle in the ocean, bobbing up and down occasionally with the tide, fluttering and threatening to extinguish with each devastating wind, running slowly out of fuel. At first, the hope was greater, though never strong, but as the days, the weeks, the months passed, it grew still weaker. He was almost out now.  
  
It was this utter lack of hope that made him so ragged. He ate nothing but what lay directly in his path, drank no water but from the rivers he had to swim through, slept only when he collapsed from exhaustion, something which happened more and more often. He flew only when his path lead him a cross water too vast to cross, mostly walking and swimming across the smaller bodies of water.  
  
He no longer cared what happened to him, wanting only to move on, on the slight chance he might somehow stumble on Touya's youki signature and find him, be able to see his love was happy, even if he could never let Touya's know him. And his despondency was furthered by the knowledge that even if he did somehow find Touya, he would have to hide himself, to insure Touya's happiness. But he swore to himself he wouldn't let Touya know he was there, should the chance come. He wouldn't let himself make Touya unhappy, he wouldn't let himself hurt Touya again. If Touya was happy. then he would not, could not, take that from him.  
  
When he reached the shore he flew off the island, going straight forward, even when other islands lay only a short distance to this or that side. Finally he landed, stumbled, and fell, unconscious.  
  
A/N I seriously cried when I wrote this. And I RARELY get at all emotional in reading or writing stories. Or if I do, it's still slight. So it has to be pretty good I think, If it can wrangle tears from my bone dry eyes! LOL point of fact, I would like a specific review from people who like/didn't like this chapter. That is, in you review, if u send one ((do! It's fun!)), talk about whatever else you like, but please make a specific comment on this chapter cuz I'm rather proud of it.


	25. Confessions

Yusuke sat up straight, looking down at Touya in wonder and shock, brushing a hand over his lips, so warm and cool at the same time! His cheeks turned crimson, at having been caught, as he said slowly, "I'm sorry Touya. I'll stop. But I'm not drunk. And. I think I love you."  
  
The tears fell from Touya's eyes as he sat up and raised his knees, propping his elbows on them, burying his face in his hands. "How can I trust you though? I saw you drinking, saw you!" he mumbled, and Yusuke struggled to catch his words.  
  
It broke Yusuke's heart to see Touya so upset over something he'd done, and he tried to calm his friend without breaking his promise. "Hush now, I'm sorry. You know you can trust me Touya, I'm not drunk, and I mean it. I. I DO love you, I'm sure of it!"  
  
Touya wiped away the frozen tears, and looked at Yusuke closely. He wasn't drunk. He wasn't lying. Touya could see that much. "Yusuke." He breathed. "I love you, Urameshi Yusuke."  
  
Yusuke smiled, the most sincere smile Touya had ever seen, especially from Yusuke, and Yusuke put his arms around Touya, gently kissing him. First his mouth, then cheeks and nose, forehead, eyes, and then back to the soft, pale, shockingly cool and warm mouth. Touya sighed, letting his body rest easily in Yusuke's strong, warm arms, his face upturned to Yusuke's delicate lips, his own lips softly parted and slightly curled with pleasure, occasional sighs issuing forth under the soft ministrations.  
  
Yusuke tilted back slowly till he fell over, lying back with Touya still carefully wrapped in his arms on top of him. He stopped the tender kisses to say, "You're so beautiful Touya. So wonderful. I'm so glad I love you, and you me. I won't let you get hurt again, ever. I swear it."  
  
Touya smiled shakily, it overwhelmed him! "Thank you," he whispered, firmly sealing his mouth to Yusuke's, carefully thrusting his tongue into Yusuke's hot mouth. The hint of sake in Yusuke's mouth was virtually covered by the chocolate he'd had later, and Touya though it was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted, intoxicated just as much as if he'd had ten glasses of sake. When he finally pulled away, breathing heavily, he blushed brilliantly, the ice in his blood making his cheeks turn a strange magenta.  
  
Yusuke laughed softly, letting one of the hands that had rested on Touya's back come up to caress Touya's warm, plum-shaded cheeks. As always, the right cheek still bore the red mark of someone's hand-Jin's-having come roughly across it. He sighed then, the imprint an ever-present reminder of what had happened to Touya. It cheered him that Touya was willingly to go even this far with him, he'd been so shy, even up till now, though he had opened up a little. But still. "Who did this to you Touya? Who fucked you so royally over?" He asked quietly, and Touya looked away, keeping his expression cautiously blank. Yusuke sighed again, holding Touya closer to his own body. "All right then. You decide when you're ready to tell me."


	26. Touya's Story

Touya blinked twice, thinking. This would have been only the third time Yusuke had asked him, the first being when he'd woken those days after the fact when Yusuke had rescued him, the day they'd first gotten to Yusuke's house, and now. And it had been so long since the first two times. Yusuke had been so patient about it. "I'm ready now," he sighed, pressing himself closer, wanting to have as much contact with Yusuke as possible. "Swear you won't try to do anything about it. Don't try to take revenge, don't get angry, don't do anything. I used to love him once, too," Touya added.  
  
Yusuke considered a moment. "Ok. I swear, I won't try to do anything about this bas-" he stopped when he saw Touya cringe at the insult he was about to use, and changed it with a sigh, "I won't do anything about thisperson who did this to you."  
  
Touya, still slightly nervous, asked, "What do you swear by?"  
  
Yusuke thought a moment. "I swear it on my life, I swear it on the fate of our band, I swear it by everything I hold dear. Which includes you," he said, gently thumbing Touya's nose.  
  
Touya grinned very slightly, reassured, and took a shaky breath before starting. "All right. Reisho and Bakken had cornered me by that cave you found me. They were going to beat, they always do, and they had only just begun when Jin showed up to stop them. He'd never been in time before and I never told him who it was, but I think he knew and was just waiting for proof. But that doesn't matter, when he showed up, he was more drunk than I'd ever seen him before, and he'd gotten quite drunk several times before hand.  
  
"He stumbled over and scared off Reisho and Bakken; both of them know he can beat them when he's angry enough, and he was very angry then, and drunk. He said. He said, 'Are you two playing with my toy?'" Touya stopped a moment, holding back a sob carefully.  
  
"Reisho had pressed me against the cave wall and had been trying to choke me, and he let me go when Jin came at him. I started to slide down, but Jin grabbed me and pulled me up and kissed me, hard. He shoved his tongue down my throat and I couldn't breathe, Reisho had held me so long and,-" the sob broke, and Yusuke tried to console Touya, murmuring softly and gently patting and rubbing his back.  
  
Touya continued, "Reisho and Bakken left and then. He began taking off my shirts, and I begged him to stop, but he kept going. He. He grabbed me. There. And he squeezed harder and harder till I came, then he grabbed me hands and first he just made me squeeze him as he did me, then he shoved me down on my knees. He thrust his entire length down my throat and I almost choked. He made me; I sucked him till he came, and then he just flew off." Touya sobbed again, even harder, the fact that Jin had simply left him like that having the greatest affect of all on his fragile psyche. "Before he left though, he said. 'That was fun, little one. Have to try that again, huh?' Then he was gone."  
  
Touya shuddered in Yusuke's arms, and Yusuke's eyes glinted in rage as he spoke softly to Touya. "Shhh, don't worry I'll never let him hurt you, never again, I swear. Not him, not Bakken, not Reisho, no one!"


	27. Don't!

Touya still sobbed, still shook, but as he began to still, he looked up at Yusuke's eyes and saw how full of hate they were. "You're angry Yusuke. Don't do anything to him, please. You swore you wouldn't! I loved him once too! A part of me still does, though it hurts. Like the song goes, 'I'd give it all to have, A day alone with you. A day for me to learn, A day for me to know, Are you a blessing? Are you a curse?. I love, I hate' you can't try to find him, can't hurt him, please!" Touya begged, tears falling again.  
  
Yusuke looked at Touya's fragile face, so full of repressed pain, and gave in. "Whatever you want, Touya." He let his hand cup Touya's cheek, covered in ice-tears; the one with the red mark, the mark he finally knew to be Jin's doing, and sighed, that he would never be able to do anything to avenge the blemish, the one thing that kept Touya's face from perfection.  
  
Touya released the breath he'd held, relieved. "Thank-you Yusuke. I'm so glad," he smiled weakly up at Yusuke, shifting slightly to wipe off the thin layer of tear ice that coated his cheeks. He then slid up and brought his mouth to Yusuke's once again, this time parting his lips in a discrete invitation, trembling slightly as he felt Yusuke's tongue inside him, sending waves of heat he'd never felt before through his slight body. They kissed again and again, each time softer than before, till they each fell asleep, Touya covered protectively by Yusuke's arms.  
  
A/Ns!!!  
  
I actually wrote the lyrics for the song Touya wrote ((remember? Chap. 18-Touya's song?)) though there is no music for it, since I only played flute for one school year and sucked so much at it. So anyhow, that's part of the lyrics to it and the full lyrics will be put up. somewhere, sometime. yeah. probably on anyhow, I'll give you guys a linkie for it later, once it's up, or I might make a chappie on here just his song. If you send in a review, tell me which you'd prefer, otherwise I'm probably going to put it here since I haven't technically joined yet. -;;  
  
Btw, sorry for the short chappies, but I always seem to be finding these places that just scream NEW CHAPTER! Yup. But since I tend to put up several at a time, you really can't complain, can you? Cuz I tend to break it up after I write it. Yeah, that.  
  
Touya - smiling at Yusuke So. what are you doing tomorrow evening? Yusuke - 0.0;;


	28. Never Alive Again

"O dear!" Hanaka cried, seeing some poor stranger on the shore. She ran to the strange man, his feet licked by the incoming tide, and knelt beside him, noting with no small curiosity the large ears and the horn. "What. What's wrong with him? What is he?" She gently patted his cheek, trying to wake him. "Mister? Mister wake up!" She called. Finally, she gave up, and began dragging him away from the shoreline. She was shocked by how light he was, but then noted how thin he was as well.  
  
She pulled him up next to the tree line of the forest by the shore, letting his face fall in a bed of soft flowers and grass. Hoping he would be safe while she left, she ran quickly to her village to find someone who could help.  
  
Reaching the village, she ran first to the old wise woman, Miwako, and her son, Runaku. She was good friends with Miwako, and she had a crush on Runaku. However, in her panic, she didn't even notice his striking face when she ran up to him and Miwako at the plaza. "Miwako, Miwako, I found a strange man on the shore, not far from here. He was passed out and wouldn't wake up and he looks hurt, and like he hasn't eaten in forever!"  
  
Miwako looked somewhat alarmed, but used to calming people, and so said, "Hush now child, calm down. Lets get over to my house so we can get some herbs for your strange man and then we'll get there quick as we can to help." Hanaka nodded, racing up the street towards Miwako's house, then back to Miwako and Runaku, then towards the house again, impatient, worried about the stranger.  
  
Having reached the house and gotten all the herbs Miwako thought would or could be necessary they went quickly, following Hanaka's eager lead. On the way, she continued to describe the man. "He has curly red hair, and he looks really skinny, and like he was strong once but not anymore 'cuz of not eating! And there's stains and dirt and stuff all over him, on his clothes, and stuff tangled in his hair and smudged on his face and stuff, and he's all cut up and bruised all over and it looks like his skin is kind of pale, but it's hard to tell with all the wounds and grime. And he's got huge droopy ears and a horn!"  
  
Finally they reached him and Miwako gasped, shocked. "Come on now, this poor fellow is in desperate shape!" She checked his pulse and breathing right off, relieved to find both, but upset by the inconsistency in both.  
  
She began looking for the worst, setting his left arm, which apparently broke and started growing back funny, in a rough splint. She rubbed various creams and poultices over different inflictions, constantly double-checking pulse and breath. Each slowly became slightly less erratic, as Hanaka and Runaku watched silently. Miwako took a bottle of water they had, luckily, brought, and slowly tipped it down the man's throat, being carefully not to give him so much at once he choked.  
  
Slowly the man's eyes opened, revealing glossy blue orbs that refused to focus. Tears gathered in the corners, and the man said, "I'm not dead," his voice rasping horribly.  
  
Miwako brushed his bangs from his eyes, and whispered, "No, you're not dead. But are you alive either?"  
  
She did not expect a reply, but got one anyhow. "No. Not without Touya. I'll never be alive again." Hanaka felt tears drop from her on eyes, at the stranger's hoarse words.  
  
A/N Wow, twice, crying at Jin's predicament. hmmm. not as much on this chappie as my last Jin chappie though. Yup.


	29. Doughnuts?

Touya awoke slowly, gradually becoming more and more aware of the soft way Yusuke held him in his dreams. His eyes opened blearily, and he sighed satisfaction, so glad that this time things worked out, this time his love accepted and returned his emotions, this time things weren't so devastated.  
  
He shifted slightly, to press his mouth once again against his love's, to kiss him once more. And just like in a fairy tale, Yusuke woke at the brush of Touya's lips on his, returning the kiss in a sleepy daze. Touya pulled away, smiling at Yusuke. "Morning, love."  
  
Touya was slightly worried yet, a part of him still wondering if last night had been a dream, or if Yusuke maybe was drunk, or what if Yusuke didn't remember. He held his breath for Yusuke's response.  
  
A calloused hand stroked his cheek, the one with the imprint, and Yusuke smiled back, saying quietly, "Morning, love." Touya felt tears burning once again in his eyes, as he buried his face against Yusuke's chest. Yusuke grinned bemusedly, stroking his Touya's hair. Touya practically purred, kissing Yusuke's chest through the clothe of his shirt.  
  
"I'm so proud of you Touya. I've never been so proud of anything, in my life or death." Yusuke murmured, still stroking Touya's soft blue hair. Touya's face turned a brilliant magenta at this unexpected praise. Though Yusuke had complimented him before, and said he was proud of him on several occasions, the words now took on new meaning, and Touya was ecstatic that he had made Yusuke so proud, made him fall in love.  
  
"I'm yours now Yusuke. Let me be yours. Let me be yours forever!" Touya said, looking up at Yusuke's face, his own so full of trust, love, admiration.  
  
Yusuke smiled back elatedly. "Mine. Yes, mine to protect and care for and love." Yusuke hugged Touya closer, and again, Touya sank against him.  
  
"Hey! I got food, boys!" Atsuko-san's voice drifted into the room. A moment later they heard Hiei get up and head towards the kitchen, and Yusuke gave Touya one last Squeeze Before letting go and propping himself up.  
  
"Come on, Touya, I'm hungry!" Yusuke said, and Touya got off him, grinning. Nothing stood between Yusuke and food, not when he was hungry! ((O screw the diet. LOL))  
  
The two of them went downstairs and Yusuke noticed with delight that Atsuko-san had bought two dozen doughnuts, most glazed, some chocolate covered, some jelly-filled, and lord alone knows what other varieties. Yusuke snagged a chocolate covered one and then another. and another. Touya and Hiei stared as Yusuke continued eating more and more doughnuts, till he'd had at least eight.  
  
"Like me when there's pizza." Touya muttered, causing Hiei, Yusuke, and Atsuko-san to all crack a laugh.  
  
"It is!" Atsuko-san cried joyfully. Yusuke blushed slightly.  
  
"I likes my doughnuts. Dey's good doughnuts." He said impishly, patting another doughnut gently, like a dog. He picked that one up, and acted like he was about to eat it, before shoving it in Touya's face. "Open."  
  
Touya laughed, opening his mouth so Yusuke could shove the doughnut in. Yusuke continued to feed Touya that and one other doughnut in such manner; an act that cause Hiei to snicker, Touya to blush, and Atsuko-san to grab another doughnut and leave the room before she was consumed by the awkward silence. "There. Good?" Yusuke asked.  
  
Touya grinned, his cheeks still red-violet. "Yes."  
  
"Told you! Told you I'd take care of you!" Yusuke grinned, his eyes squinting shut.  
  
Hiei almost gagged. "Then you two are officially dating, huh?"  
  
Yusuke looked at Touya carefully a moment, reading his reaction in his eyes, and nodded. "I guess so. Out of the closet, and into the bed!" Yusuke laughed and Touya blushed deeper.  
  
"That was more than I really needed to know." Hiei walked away, trying to get images of Yusuke in bed out of his head


	30. Veiled

"I can't believe it! Not only is this our first show, but I heard there was a talent scout here tonight! Which means maybe, if they like us, this could be a big break, already! And there's no way they won't like us! This is great!" Yusuke eagerly informed Kuwabara, Hiei, and Touya. They were sitting in the back of Yusuke's car with their instruments; thank god The Pulse supplied the amps, mics and what not so they didn't have to bring all that; And Yusuke was trying to get them all excited for the performance. However, Touya looked less than thrilled.  
  
While the other two began setting up, Yusuke confronted Touya. "What's wrong? You seem upset, Toy-chan."  
  
Touya grinned slightly at the nickname, he'd grown accustomed to it easily, but no one but Yusuke was allowed to call him that. "I. I'm not sure I can stand and sing in front of all those people. Those songs are so much of me, to go up and sing them in front of everyone. I feel like I'm about to go stand naked in front of a mob."  
  
Yusuke grinned at Touya. "So you're not perfect after all, you've got stage fright. I had wondered, you know. And I had an idea beforehand, hold the shock please." Touya snickered.  
  
"You thought ahead?" He questioned, dodging the playful slap Yusuke directed at him.  
  
"Don't start that, Toy-chan." Yusuke grinned lopsidedly, pulling some light blue fabric from his pocket. "Turn around," he said, and Touya complied. Yusuke then pulled the light blue fabric over the bridge of Touya's nose, and Touya realized it to be a semi-sheer veil. Yusuke tied it in back, firm so not to come loose, but careful not to tie it to hard, in such manner as might hurt Touya. "Let's see," he said when finished.  
  
Touya turned back around to face Yusuke, smiling underneath the veil. Yusuke could just make out the smile through the thin cloth, but he knew that in the dark, no one would be able to make out any details of Touya's face from his eyes down. The red mark on Touya's cheek peeked just up above the edge of the cloth, but not particularly noticeable, since most was still hidden. Yusuke's grin grew by a degree, as he said, "Good. No one will be able to see a thing. So you can still have your privacy."  
  
Touya hugged Yusuke, whispering his thanks. Hiei poked his head out of The Pulse, calling out- "Touya, Yusuke, come on, time to rock!" They were both shocked to hear excitement in Hiei's voice, and a gleam in his eyes they thought only came about in battle.  
  
Yusuke looked at Touya, unrestrained adrenaline evident, "Let's go!" He raced in to The Pulse and Touya followed, almost as quickly.


	31. Kado

Touya sang his heart out that night, putting all his passion into each and every word of each and every song, putting all of his emotion into each plucked note on his guitar. Yusuke had as much fun as he could, which consequently meant he played the best he could. Hiei put more expression into his performance than any of them had seen before in memory. Kuwabara exploded into life, and they found that he possessed two skills: fighting, and bass guitar!  
  
As they were packing away their instruments, they all felt elated and free, as though they'd reached some musical nirvana in the exhilaration of the music and the pulsing crowd, watching people moshing and throwing themselves into the moment. And as they were packing, a man in a black leather jacket, bondage pants, and a Hard Rock Café t-shirt approached them. His hair was black and spiked, and he had several sex-bracelets and pyramid stud bracelets coating his arms. "Hey guys, this is Crystal Tears, right?" He asked.  
  
Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, you like the show?"  
  
The man laughed and said, "Yeah, I'd say. Enough that my company might be willing to hire you on, book you a tour and put out an album, the whole she- bang."  
  
Yusuke's jaw dropped. "You're the talent scout? HOLY SHIT! Toy-chan, Kuwabara, Hiei, get over here! We got business!" Yusuke called out and the three approached; Touya removing his veil as he came closer, a step behind the other two. "It's the talent scout I told ya'll about!" he said and they hastened over, and the man kept grinning at them.  
  
"My name's Kado. I represent a recording company called VampFang." The man, Kado, grinned at the stunned expression on Yusuke and Kuwabara's faces. The other two, however, didn't seem to recognize his reputed company's name. It didn't matter though. "Introduce me to the band then?" he asked Yusuke, who, for once, was at a loss for words.  
  
Instead, Touya stepped up, "I'm Touya, lead singer and guitarist, that's Hiei, secondary guitarist, that's Kuwabara, bass guitar, and you have apparently met Yusuke, our drummer. And I assume you heard the name of our band is Crystal Tears."  
  
Kado nodded, stretching out a hand, which Touya confidently took and shook. "Nice to meet you all," their hands dropped and Kado dug a business card out of his jacket. "Here you are. Now I can't promise anything, so what you guys need to do is make a demo tape or arrange a time to meet with my superiors and prove your stuff. I think you guys have a good chance of signing on. Best of luck!" Kado turned and walked away, and Yusuke, finally regaining his senses, snatched the card from Touya and held it like a gift from god.  
  
"I can't believe it! We might be joining on with the biggest recording company in Japan!"  
  
this is made up, I doubt there's a comp. called VampFang, let alone it being anything big.


	32. My Immortal

Jin lay on an old pallet in Miwako's house, and Hanaka was trying to get him to eat. Luckily, he would eat, though the food had to be spoon-fed to him, for he would not feed himself. She carefully fed him the ramen noodles, making sure they weren't too hot before she gave them to him.  
  
Jin sighed. "I'm los'," he muttered, his eyes still refusing to focus. At least they'd washed him up though. His hair was brushed and clean, the grime carefully scrubbed away, the cuts and wounds bandaged, and his clothes replaced by some of Runaku's. His large ears still drooped, and he still seemed a creature of utter despondency.  
  
The fact he was still alive hung over his head like a sentence, for it meant another moment living without Touya. He no longer dared to hope anymore of finding Touya, no longer dared to hope anything.  
  
Hanaka tried to talk to him, to distract him from whatever thoughts consumed him. "I've lived on this island all my life, but one day I plan to leave it and see the real world. I want to see adventure and beauty!" she explained, and Jin nodded docilely.  
  
Hanaka sighed; it was impossible to talk to this poor shell of a man. "How about some music?" Jin looked up slightly, showing a meager interest. The only music he'd ever known was drinking songs and Touya's singing and shakuhachi. And so that was what he expected.  
  
He was taken rather aback when the girl put a shiny disk in some device and noise began coming out of the device. "It's Evanescence- Fallen. Oh! How about we skip to my favorite, 'My Immortal'!" Jin said nothing, but when he heard the haunting song, and listened to the lyrics, he seemed to be slightly more interested than he'd been in anything before. He thought mournfully of Touya, listening to such lyrics.  
  
When the song finished, he said, "That was good. I want to hear it again."  
  
Hanaka nodded, "Ok." She said, smiling happily, glad to have found something that interested the lifeless doll man on the pallet. "I can put it on repeat if you want." Jin did not respond, lost in the song, and Hanaka sighed, setting her CD player to repeat.


	33. Dating

Yusuke grinned, hugging Touya, kissing him; caressing him. "Never could have pulled it off without you! Without your beautiful voice and music, and your skill on the guitar, we never would have gotten this far. And NOW! It's all your fault Toy-chan!"  
  
Touya beamed. "My fault? If you hadn't taught me to play and read sheet music, I wouldn't have gotten this far. So I think it's your fault!" he joked, his cheeks begin to color with pride.  
  
Yusuke thumbed Touya's nose, "Whatever, Toy-chan. You're wrong though." Touya laughed at this statement, burying his face in Yusuke's chest, noting the way the soft fabric rippled around Yusuke's form.  
  
"God, I love you," he murmured, bringing his arms up to rest on Yusuke's shoulders, and Yusuke pulled Touya in warmly.  
  
"We should go celebrate you know. The carnival's in town. Wanna go check it out?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"Like a date?" Touya asked, looking up at Yusuke curiously.  
  
He laughed. "I guess. Want to? It'd be fun!" Yusuke said, cupping Touya's cheek.  
  
Touya smiled blessedly, "Yes. I think so too."  
  
"Come on then!" Yusuke said, heading out to his motorcycle. ((Wait? Yusuke rides a motorcycle now? Well, it seemed more likely than a car to his character. And I didn't want Atsuko-san to drive them!))  
  
Yusuke pulled on his helmet, and got on. Touya sat behind him, circling his arms around Yusuke's waist. Yusuke grinned, and got the motorcycle revved up, then he took off like a shot. Touya laughed at the sudden change in motion, closing his eyes tight against the wind. The two of them smiled excitedly as Yusuke drove them to the carnival. Touya delighted, as always, in the trip, the feeling like flying. As usual, he couldn't help but remember the time Jin had taken him flying before, but he forcefully shoved the memory from his mind; wanting to think only of his time with Yusuke.  
  
They arrived, and Yusuke pocketed the keys, and tried to decide what to do with his helmet. Eventually, he stashed it in a bunch of bushes. The two of them entered the fairgrounds, sneaking in carefully, and then stealing some tickets.  
  
Yusuke grinned, comparing their profits. While he had several, Touya had successfully stolen heaps. "Should I be surprised?" he laughed. "Where to first?" Touya smiled, looking around.


	34. First Fight

"Surprised at what? That I out stole you? Is that even proper grammar?" Touya said, musing over his latter question.

Yusuke grinned, "Your asking me about grammar?" He shrugged and put his hands up behind his head. "Anyhow, yeah, I was talking about you out stealing me."

Touya grinned, nodding. "Then I guess the answer is no. As to where to go... I have no idea. I've only read about carnivals from books; remember? Never been. Except ones in the Makai, but those are radically different." He added, looking thoughtful.

Yusuke nodded, "Oh yeah, that's right. I keep forgetting you spent most of your life in the woods."

Touya blushed. "You make it sound like I was a savage or something."

Yusuke smirked, "What if that's what I meant?"

Touya scowled slightly, and began to turn away. "Oi, hold up there Touya, don't tell me you think I mean that?" Yusuke asked, snatching hold of Touya's sleeve. "Come on, you know me better than that!"

Touya turned, looking at Yusuke seriously. "Maybe, but please don't joke around at my past. I'd rather not be reminded of it at all. I just want here and now, and the best to come."

Yusuke noticed the solemnity of Touya's tone and demeanor, and he dropped his silly grin, to adopt a more staid expression. "I'm sorry. I won't again. Not on purpose, for sure."

Touya sighed and nodded. "Thanks." Yusuke pulled him in for another quiet hug.

"God, you've just been so fucked over. But as I can defend against it, you won't anymore. Mine to protect, forever, huh?" Yusuke whispered, brushing away Touya's bangs.

"Whatever you want," was the quiet reply, as Touya turned up his face from Yusuke's chest, allowing Yusuke a full view of both his magnificent, icy, uncanny eyes.

Abruptly changing moods, Yusuke grinned. "I wanna go on the Ferris wheel. It'll be real cool, now at sunset!" he grabbed Touya's hand and dragged him to the Ferris wheel.


	35. Touya's Queezy! SP?

Touya gasped, looking around. "This is so... beautiful... Its like... Once I stood on the edge of a cliff and looked down at sunset in the Ice Lands of the Makai. Its like that..."

Yusuke laughed as Touya openly gaped. "And already I've found something to take your breath away. Next, I think I'll turn your stomach inside out!"

Touya looked at Yusuke, puzzled. "Beg your pardon?"

Yusuke grinned, pointing out a ride that looked like a roulette table. "See that?"

Touya looked, it was some ride that spun first one way, and then the other, as its edges rose up. He felt a bit sick just looking at it. "What about it?"

"I'm shoving you on that next, whether you like it or not!" Yusuke laughed at Touya's panicked expression. "It's settled then, we ride that next!"

"Do I have to?" Touya pleaded, no longer noting the glorious view permitted by the Ferris wheel.

Yusuke nodded. "Come on, I'm sure you've been through lots worse. And then we can ride that one, and that one..." Yusuke said, pointing out two more, one that looked like a UFO and simply spun around very fast, and another called the scrambler, which was simply indescribable, but very vomit-worthy. Touya paled. Yusuke laughed.

"You'd better enjoy the last few minutes on here, 'cause then we're going on those!" Touya nodded, carefully not looking at the suggested rides. The wheel came to a stop, and they got off, and this time Yusuke almost did have to drag Touya to get him to the ride. "Come on, the whole point to these rides is to make you puke anyhow!"

"Then why ride?" Touya asked, not seeing any point to spinning that fast till you threw up.

Yusuke frowned. "Duh, because! It's fun!"

Touya did not seem at all appeased, but then, it didn't really matter. Yusuke was going to get them on that ride, one way or another.

He handed the tickets to the person in charge of the ride and shoved Touya in a seat, sitting next to him and belting them in before Touya could get back up. Touya scowled and crossed his arms huffily. But when the ride started he lost that countenance quickly, grabbing Yusuke's hand tightly. Then it stopped, and Touya sighed-and then it started going backwards. Touya was starting to turn a charming shade of green, too. He covered his mouth with his free hand, and then felt the bile rise. Wincing, he swallowed it down. He was NOT going to throw up on Yusuke!

The ride stopped and Yusuke and him stumbled off. "I want something to drink." Touya mumbled, his face drawn with distaste.

Yusuke laughed. "You puked-and you swallowed it back down! Your hard-core!"

"Yes, well, I didn't want to on you... water would be lovely about now."

Yusuke grinned. "Fuck water, you need something sweet or fizzy to drink, water doesn't do shit for get rid of that taste, I've tried!" Yusuke spotted a concession stand, and lead Touya over. "What do you want, coke?" Touya nodded.

"Anything. Not someone else's puke!" Yusuke laughed, and paid for Touya's coke. Touya drank down half the bottle very thankfully, wiping his mouth off with a napkin. "Better." He handed Yusuke the Coke, and Yusuke took a sip, unable to stop grinning at Touya. "Warning: next time I'm not swallowing. In fact, I'll make sure it gets on you."

Yusuke laughed. "It'd be worth getting threw up on a hundred times to get you on all these rides. And we are still going on them all." Touya groaned.


	36. Stay!

Hanaka looked at Miwako expectantly. "So? What did he tell you?"

Miwako sighed, "He would tell me nothing." Hanaka's face fell, and Miwako continued. "However, I was able to find some his story. You know my gift, after all."

Hanaka nodded eagerly, "Oh yes, so what did you find then, about the doll man? What's his name, where's he from, what happened to him?" Hanaka asked eagerly.

"Hush child," Miwako laughed. "Give me time to answer! His name is Jin, and as I suspected, he is a demon; a true one. He's from the Makai." Hanaka fell silent, intrigued. She looked like a child awaiting a story from an elder, for all her 12 years. And Miwako looked like the kind grandmother giving the required fairy tale. "He did this to himself, why, that is a difficult one to explain, though I found the answer."

"It seemed, one day he grew terribly drunk; he was upset because he lost some kind of tournament. He was so drunk, he raped one of his closest friends; one he secretly had fallen in love with. He didn't remember a hint the next day and flew away, to the place the rest of his team, and his friend, normally stayed. When he got there, the other team members said he had beaten his friend, but they had left before the rape. He's been searching to apologize, but then he met someone who said he should just leave his friend alone, his friend had finally moved past that and become happy. Jin doesn't want to ruin whatever happiness his friend found, so he's just been wandering since, neglecting everything. At first he hoped it wasn't true, that his friend would let him apologize and take him back; but now he's lost every scrap of hope. The only reason he's not dead is because he's a demon." Miwako explained. "He still doesn't remember that he raped his friend, and we'll not tell him, right Hanaka?"

Hanaka nodded silently. "Poor man, no wonder he's so despondent! We can't turn him out, not now! I'll keep helping you tend him, but he should stop his wandering, before he does die. If he dies he can never find his friend!"

Hanaka and Miwako both glanced over at the door, hearing faltering steps, and the turn of the knob. Jin stumbled out of the room. "Thank ya'. I hav' ta' go now." He mumbled.

Hanaka's face filled with concern and she rushed over and took his hand. "No, no, don't go yet. Stay at least till your better, please?" Jin looked blankly at the pretty young girl who stopped him.

"But... I shouldn't laze abou' like this... I needa' fin' 'im..." Jin mumbled, but made no move to break Hanaka's grasp.

"If you leave now though, and get yourself killed, I'll never forgive you! And I bet your friend wouldn't either!" Hanaka pleaded. Jin continued to stare at her, and no emotion dared register in his eyes, and Hanaka half wondered if there was any emotion to register. But there had to be, otherwise this Jin wouldn't be so compelled, would he? Jin nodded slowly, and Hanaka sighed, grinning.


	37. Sweetness

Yusuke and Touya actually made it through the rest of the night without Touya throwing up again, though there were a few occasions where he needed to sit down and wait for his head to stop throbbing. The whole time, Yusuke taunted him playfully, disgustingly unfazed. More than once Touya scowled at him jealously.

At one point, Yusuke jokingly tried to win a giant stuffed-animal for Touya. When he failed, he simply stole one ((how do you steal those giant stuffed animals???? They're HUGE!)), but then wondered how the hell he'd get it home. They ended up selling it to some family with a bunch of cute little kids for drink money.

Yusuke laughed, buying some cotton candy and a funnel cake. "Those people looked at us so funny! I think they were afraid NOT to buy that stuffed animal! Its not like we were trying to look intimidating or anything!" Touya grinned, and Yusuke handed him the plate with the funnel cake. They sat down and Touya discovered something that could rival pizza for his favorite.

"What's this? A funeral cake?" Touya asked, poking the confection.

Yusuke grinned. "I hope not. Its called a funnel cake, 'cause if you picked it up by the edges and lifted it, it kinda' droops down in a funnel shape." Touya nodded.

"Oh, okay then. I was wondering why someone would want to eat something called a FUNERAL cake anyhow!" They both laughed, and then Touya felt something fluffy shoved in his mouth. He grinned, as the stuff dissolved, and vanished.

"Cotton candy?" Yusuke asked innocently, offering some to Touya.

Touya laughed. "Indeed." He took some from Yusuke's open hand; delighted by the way it seemed to just disappear. "Can we ride the Ferris Wheel again?" he asked, having finished the funnel cake.

Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, that'd be a nice way to end it off." They surrendered their last tickets to the ride manager and climbed on. Once again Touya found the view breathtaking, shocked at the great difference of night and sunset. All the carnival lights gleamed, city lights too, and it almost seemed as though the stars had fallen, yet a look at the moonless sky showed multitudes of the pinpricks of light.

It was overwhelming, even Yusuke found the sight worthy of his awe. And it was truly more than that. Not only was their sight filled, but the cold night chilled Yusuke and comforted Touya, crisp clean air carried the smell of sugar and such wafting up from the concession stands, the yells and babble of the carnival people was a low rumble, faded away with the night, and the remainder of their cotton candy kept their mouths sweet. Every sense was assailed, a moment of silence, as thoughts died away to the wonder.

Then Yusuke turned to his Touya, and found him even more wonderful than all the carnival joys. He laid a hand to the side of Touya's face. Touya turned and they let themselves fall into each other's eyes, slowly, unconsciously moving closer. Yusuke gently let his lips to Touya's, and they fell into the sugary kiss. They drew away, thankful for the long cycle of the wheel. Yusuke grinned, as their carriage drew closer to the ground. "We'll finish that when we get home, huh?" Touya blushed, and nodded happily.


	38. SubLIME

Extra warning: K this chapter includes a lot of lime, which means making out and stuff, which often leads to lemon ((making love)) and in this case... it does, but the lemon isn't in this chappie. Also, it is shonen-ai, but no one should have a prob with that if they read this far! There is some dominance-submission going on, and a wee bit of bondage, but its all pretty toned done, lots of sweetness and fluffiness. Its not violent or 'nuthin.

After an enthralling ride, Touya and Yusuke were home, and went straight back to their room. Yusuke picked up Touya, and laid him carefully down on the bed. He sat down gently on top of Touya's stomach, straddling his love. He glanced at the door, checking that it was locked, and leaned down, laying feather light kisses all over his love's face. Touya smiled softly, reaching up to caress Yusuke's face.

Yusuke stopped, taking Touya's small hands lovingly in his own, looking down at Touya seriously. "You trust me?"

Touya looked confused, "Yes, of course I do." He said quietly, and Yusuke rewarded him with a soft kiss.

Yusuke asked him again, "Do you trust me?"

The slightest signs of hurt appeared on Touya's face, mixing with the confusion. "Always, Yusuke." Yusuke kissed him again, a firmer kiss than before, one that lasted a moment longer.

Yusuke asked the third time. "Do you trust me, love?"

Touya couldn't help but feel hurt; did Yusuke really need to ask him three times? "Till the end of the world, and beyond." He said, feeling tears prick his eyes. Yusuke gave a third kiss, finally pushing his tongue in deftly, carefully. He finally drew away for breath, and shifted slightly to reach his nightstand, pulling out a pair of padded cuffs. ((I'm sorry, I don't do VANLILLA. I gotta add a little kink! It's not real bad though))

He lay them down in reach, and Touya looked at them with surprise and slight fear, though he knew he could easily break the chain if needed. Yusuke kissed him again, bringing Touya's hands to rest above his head on the pillow. Still kissing him, he put the first cuff carefully on one of Touya's wrists. He drew out of the kiss, looping the chain around the bedpost and kissing his Touya again, putting the second cuff on Touya's other wrist.

He pulled away and saw the confused look on Touya's striking face. "Why?" he heard his love ask quietly. They had cuddled many times since they realized their love for each other, but never had Yusuke brought out something like cuffs!

Yusuke stroked the side of Touya's face. "Because. This way, you can't try to caress me back. I get to pamper you all I want, and you don't have to worry about returning the favor, not if your hands are chained up. So you can just lose yourself in whatever you feel. I want to send you up into the sky to shine like a star."

Touya was stunned at this eloquent answer from his rough-and-tumble, street fight love. Then Yusuke grinned. "Back to business, I guess." He kissed Touya again, before shifting slightly, tugging the hem of Touya's shirt out from under himself. But before he continued, he stopped, appearing to have just remembered something. "Touya... If I ever, ever, start to do something you don't want me to do, tell me. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to lose you. I saw the way you were after Jin went too far with you. I don't want to make you like that again. Swear to me you'll tell me to stop if I do something you don't want?"

Touya nodded. "I swear I'll tell you. But I don't think I'll ever have to." He murmured, wanting terribly to run his hands through Yusuke's hair, touch his chest, anything to show his love, to show how much he wanted Yusuke to continue.

Yusuke smiled at him, wanly. "Thank you, Toy-chan." He brushed away Touya's bangs from his face again, and continued to carefully push up Touya's shirt. He left it bunched around the chains at Touya's wrists, looking at the smooth, pale expanse of Touya's chest, the careful definition of the muscles in both chest and stomach. He ghosted his hand down Touya's stomach, watching happily as his love shivered, gasping, and thrust up his body, physically begging for Yusuke's touch.

Yusuke shifted so his body lay on, rather than straddled, Touya's, putting his mouth to Touya's soft, white neck. He kissed softly, then more firmly, carefully nibbling and tugging at the skin with his teeth, then licking the slight red mark, as though in apology to the abused flesh. Touya moaned, turning his head away, leaving as much of his throat open to Yusuke's touch, puzzled, as always, at how such a life-threatening action could feel so right, and knew once again how much he loved and trusted Urameshi Yusuke. All the demons in the Makai, all the spirits in the Reikai, and the Ningens in Ningenkai could never keep him from Yusuke.

Yusuke delighted in having such contact with Touya, knowing well he was the only one allowed to do so, the only one Touya considered worthy of such a gift. He had to wonder if Touya knew it really was him, not some god, for surely he was not near worthy. He began to tear his own shirt off, wanting to have as much of his skin against Touya's as possible. His pants were next to leave, and then Touya's, though he left both their boxers on, knowing that if those went, he might go further than he dared with Touya. He couldn't hurt him. He wouldn't.

Yusuke continued to kiss and caress Touya's body, delighted, spellbound, by the soft moans and sighs Touya couldn't help but make. He loved the way Touya would rise up, offering himself in simple motions and sounds, giving himself, heart, soul and body to Yusuke, and Yusuke thanked every god of every religion he knew for Touya. To think, he had thought during that fight at the dark Tournament that it would be the last time he saw him, that he had thought that Touya the ice master could be no more than the element he manipulated given life! How the fiery demon proved his wrong; his normally pale skin flushed exquisitely, his normally cool flesh aflame with passion as Yusuke's hands and lips danced over the bare surface like a sweet lie; always teetering on the edge.

Touya was in raptures, and he realized somewhere in it all that for some reason, being 'helpless', with his hands so cuffed, seemed to make the feeling more intense, for he was at Yusuke's mercy, and Yusuke chose to make him happy. He felt his skin grow hot and tight, hotter than he'd ever felt before, and he wondered if Yusuke could do so much at this point, make him feel like this with so little work, than what would it be like when they first made love? It was a thought that made Touya shiver with delight, and fear as well. He knew Yusuke enjoyed being able to do this for him, even without Touya being able to return the favor, but he eagerly anticipated the removal of the padded metal circles so that he could show his love to Yusuke.

But all thoughts of how he would repay Yusuke wouldn't stay still in his head, not during such ecstasy, as he felt himself shift under Yusuke's wandering hands and lips; trying to get Yusuke to stop teasing and such; trying to get as much contact as possible. He whimpered, as Yusuke sought and found his weakness, a very particular spot on his throat. It hurt a little, the way Yusuke gently bit the skin, but such a little pain almost felt good, and Yusuke always apologized, in his way.

Yusuke returned to Touya's face, laying soft kisses all across his cheeks, nose, lips, etc. Touya's breathing shallowed slightly, and then Yusuke moved down over his waist again, running kisses over his stomach, his hands rubbing Touya's thighs, generating a delicious friction. Touya moaned, tossing his head up, unable to do anything but let Yusuke do as he wanted. He groaned softly; as Yusuke ran a finger over the waistband of his boxers.

He panted, "Yusuke... No more teasing, please, I want you to... take me... I'm ready, if you want to..." he said, speaking earnestly. Yusuke looked at him in surprise.

"Toy-chan... You're sure? It's not just because you're caught in the moment? You really are ready?" Yusuke asked, wanting to be sure that it wouldn't mess things up between them.

Touya nodded. "Yes... I've been thinking about it a while now. Call it a gift, for our band attracting the talent scout; Kado."

Yusuke grinned, scooting up to lay a kiss on Touya's lips, then returning for a more involved one; a thank-you, and Touya knew it.


	39. First Love Summary

OK, since doesn't allow nc-17 postings, I have decided not to put up chap. 39, but I have to give you guys a lil info that may or may not be important later on. So this should be pretty short, just notes on stuff you missed.

Also, if anyone wants to read chap. 39 in its entirety, email me at 

Ok, Yusuke continues to tease Touya a while till Touya finally begs him to just get it over with and Yusuke is shocked to see tears fall from toy-chan's eyes. So, he says something to the affect of 'ok' and does so, deciding to give Touya a blow job ((work up to the big stuff later LOL)) Touya gasps and cries as he cums, and Yusuke sits up and swallows the stuff, and takes Touya's cuffs off and picks him and sits him in his lap. After Touya has calmed down a little, he reaches back and hands Yusuke a tear gem, one of the first he'd ever made because prior to, his tears always froze before they had a chance to coalesce. After a moment, Yusuke realizes what it is and Touya explains briefly:

"A... A tear gem!" Yusuke looked at Touya in surprise and wonder. "But only the Koorime can... and they're all female, except Hiei..." he said, shocked.

Touya nodded. "My mother... she was ostracized, left the land of the Koorime... a man made her his servant, my father. I was born, but none of the koorime ever checked on my mother; they never knew I was one of them. No one else has either, but me, my mother and father." Touya spoke quietly, explaining the mystery of his origin.

After a little more cuddling, Touya speaks again, to say something to the affect of how he was stunned it felt so good, because after Jin, he never thought he could enjoy something like that. Yusuke gets sad and says he wishes he could fix that, he'd do anything to change it, but Touya says no, then we would never have met, and that would suck! not his words Yusuke starts to cry and Touya tells him not to cry anymore. Touya kisses him and Yusuke smiles and says ok no more tears. They go to sleep....

Stunning, yes? It's much more interesting in its original format-go check that out ppl! Also, with regards to Toy-chan's history, Yoshihiro Togashi may have written one, but I don't know it, so I wrote one myself. Its written in story format, and if someone would like me to submit it too , I'd be happy to.


	40. Picnic

Hanaka smiled at the doll man. 'His name is Jin' she reminded herself absently. "Jin, why don't you come with me to the beach? It's really pretty out, and this is the perfect time too, everything's so nice in the summer time! All the flowers are blooming, and animals all about! Please come?" She asked.

Jin looked at the kind girl who had found him and helped him when he had thought no one would. Part of him was glad, part regretted his survival, but then, emotions still seemed distant, too distant to relate to as 'glad' and 'regret'.

"...All righ'," he said. His voice was dull, lifeless, but it was all Hanaka needed.

"Good, good!" she chorused, and began to flit about, picking up things they might want and putting them in a basket. She packed a lavish lunch, humming softly to herself. 'Miwako said he used to talk so fast no one could understand him through his accent and speed. But now his words are so slow, though the accent is still thick enough. Still, he's perfectly understandable. I wonder what he was like before this mess.' She thought, glancing occasionally at Jin, who had busied himself with his thoughts; lord knew what they were.

Finished, she closed up the large picnic basket. "I already asked Runaku to come, he said he'd meet us outside the village. Come on!" she picked it up and soon saw it was a bit heavier than she could manage to carry the entire distance. "Ack, I need to learn to pack lighter!" she said, laughing. Jin took the basket from her, carrying it easily. "Thanks!" Hanaka exclaimed, beaming at Jin.

"Too 'eavy fer ya'. I dun' min'," he replied, speaking still in that depressing monotone. However, Hanaka was glad still, that the strange man had taken the picnic basket himself. It seemed he was starting to come at least a little closer to grips with reality. At least he seemed thoughtful. In his own way, perhaps, but still...

Hanaka waved. "Hey Runaku! Over here!" she called, smiling prettily at the handsome boy. Runaku grinned, loping over easily. He noticed the basket Jin was carrying and laughed.

"She conned you into carrying her load? She always packs a lot more than we need! You should have made her take some stuff out!" Runaku said to Jin.

Hanaka blushed furiously. "You can be so mean sometimes Runaku!" she pouted.

"And you can be so silly sometimes! Besides, you know I'm just joking with you," Runaku grinned at Hanaka and she practically melted.

"Ok Runaku, whatever you say," Hanaka replied, and to this Runaku only laughed more, long sky blue tresses wafting gently around his face in the slight breeze.

Not long after, they reached the site Hanaka wanted to have their picnic at. Jin set down the basket and Hanaka unpacked it, loading up plates of food for the three of them. Runaku and Hanaka carried on a light easy banter as Jin sat quietly, listening, eating slowly. He watched the waves come slowly to shore, the way they gently lapped the beach. He stood and walked over, sitting down where the water could lick at his feet, though the rest of him remained safe.

At first Hanaka and Runaku had looked up, surprised at his motion, but assured he wasn't going to try to kill himself, they continued. "I think I'm going to go gather some wildflowers. Why don't you try to talk to him, Runaku?" Hanaka said, rising.

Runaku nodded. "I can try." He stood as well, walking to the shore where Jin sat, as Hanaka went off into the field, picking bright flowers with long stems.

Runaku sat next to Jin, sighing softly, at the sight of the sea. "Isn't it nice? What's great is when the waves are good and I go surfing. It's so freeing, you know?"

Jin stared ahead at the landscape. Finally, he replied. "I di'. Once. I can' be free an'more. A' firs', I tried." Jin sighed, dropping his head in his hands. "But it's na' use."

Runaku looked at Jin, worry etched in his face, but Jin was spared Runaku's glance, as his eyes were closed and pressed into his hands. "Just what happened? You want to tell me? It might just help. Who knows?"

"Ya'd hate ma' fer it. God knows I do," Jin said, shaking his head.

"I swear I won't. I'll be completely objective if you want."

"Ev'n then ya'll hate ma'."

Runaku was at a loss. Should he press any further? Or leave the issue alone? "Could you tell me about your past then? Who, what you were before you came here. Where you lived. Stuff like that."

Jin shook his head. "Tha's na' wha' ya' wanna know tho', is it?" He sighed. "Ya' still wanna know wha' it was tha' happened. So I guess I'll tell ya'. Who'om I ta' deny ma' hosts?

"I know ya' know it has ta' do wi' a fren' o' mine. Former fren', I suppo'..." Jin trailed off, regretfully. He began telling his sad story to Runaku, explaining who Touya was, what he remembered doing to him, when he found out about what happened, his search, the meeting with Koenma, and then his wandering till he landed on their island. Runaku listened raptly, and neither he nor Jin noticed when Hanaka came and sat next to them quietly with an armload of flowers which she began braiding together by the stems.

When Jin finally finished, he stood with a sigh. "Ya' won' wan' ma' aroun' now. 'Specially not wi' her." He gestured to Hanaka as he spun and began to walk away.


	41. Busy Morning

"Have fun last night? You two smell like you had sex." Hiei said, wrinkling his a-little-too-sensitive nose.

Touya blushed, as Yusuke grinned. "I guess we had fun. We went to the carnival." He said, showing surprising tact.

Hiei looked at him and blinked. "I'm moving out. Today." He shivered. "It's not like I still need lessons and you need to be able to find me easily now."

Yusuke smirked. "You know, there's a world of other, worse interpretations to that statement but I'll leave it alone if you knock it off." Touya grinned, that was the Yusuke he knew and loved!

Hiei shook his head, muttering something about smelly, low-life, stupid, blackmail wannabe, reikai tantei. Touya winced, suddenly noticing that Hiei was right; they did smell like a night of just a little too much fun. He hadn't noticed without someone pointing it out, since it was sort of his own scent on him... just... thicker. ((that was fun to write!))

"I think I'll take a shower before I eat." He said, turning away, and Hiei couldn't help but snort.

"Told you, ice-boy." Touya felt color rise in his cheeks and his pace picked up a little. It's not like he was ashamed of Yusuke, he just didn't feel like making public that they had made love.

He stepped into the warm, steamy shower, beaming at the memory of him and Yusuke together. All Yusuke's taunting had been more than worth the results. His face burned at this memory, as he vividly recalled the sensation of Yusuke's mouth around him. They would have to do that again. Next time, he'd find a way to show Yusuke his gratitude... Christ, if he didn't stop thinking like this, he was going to get a hard-on in the shower! 'When did I start using words like 'Christ' and 'hard-on'?' Touya wondered, almost immediately feeling like an idiot ((see the anime sweat drop?!)). Apparently Yusuke had more affects on him than he had noticed! Shit, his vocabulary was... damn it... stupid bad habits. Yusuke would have the worst mouth possible. It seemed to be rubbing off on him.

Touya sighed, stepping out of the shower. And then a warm towel was around him and his eyes widened. "Umm Yusuke? Now might not be the best time..." he mumbled, unsure of what else to say.

Yusuke laughed. "What, go down on you in the bathroom? I have SOME dignity, you know. Besides, that would be too ironic." Yusuke began drying him off, gently massaging Touya's shoulders and back. Touya relaxed in spite of himself.

"Then why are you in here?" Touya asked. Yes, it was sweet of Yusuke to dry him off, but there had to be something else.

"What, can't I have just decided to do my Koibito a favor?" Yusuke joked. Touya shook his head, and Yusuke sighed. "I'm caught then. That guy, Kado called while we were at the carnival last night. Atsuko took a message but forgot to give it to me till now. The guys at the recording company listened to the demo CD Kurama was able to make for us. Apparently they really liked it! Guess what that means?" Yusuke was barely able to contain his excitement.

"Yusuke. You know I still don't understand how all this recording company, getting to be a real band, etc. stuff works. When I first got here I didn't even know what CDs and stereos were." Touya sounded slightly miffed.

Yusuke snickered. "That was hilarious, walking into the room to see you had miraculously got the CD stuck on your finger. Why did you do that again?"

Touya growled. "Kado called... what did he say?" Touya asked, trying to change the subject. Yusuke laughed again.

"The company wants us to sign on with them! We'll cut and sell our first CD, we'll go on tour, and if all goes well, we'll be famous and rich!" Yusuke grinned, hugging Touya.

"..."

"You're hopeless, Toy-chan!" Yusuke laughed, looking at Touya's puzzled face as he tried to figure out what any of that implied, and why it mattered.

Touya scowled playfully, before smiling again. "Hopelessly in love with a moron, right?"

"Righ- HEY!" Yusuke grinned, acting mock insulted.

"I sure can pick'em." Touya sighed. Yusuke now really did get insulted at this. He smacked Touya, lightly, but enough to sting a moment.

"Don't you dare compare me to that bastard who raped you! Don't you dare do it Touya!" Yusuke half-yelled.

Touya rubbed his cheek; it did sting! "Joking."

Yusuke scowled. "That's what I said last night at the carnival about you 'living in the woods' and you still got mad at me. So we each have our touchy issues, and I don't want to be compared with Jin, in any way, shape or form, even to my advantage!"

Touya nodded. "All right. It's agreed. We don't talk about my past, we don't compare you to Jin." Yusuke nodded back. "May I get some clothes now?" Yusuke looked embarrassed. (('nuther anime sweat drop moment!))

"Yeah, of course!" Yusuke got of Touya's way as his little love went to go dress.


	42. Fights and Tours

Touya sighed, walking out of the recording studio. At least he didn't have to worry about his mask in there. But singing the same few songs over and over again so that they could later select which one was best got monotonous rather quickly. ((For the record, I have no idea about the recording process, so I'm pretty much winging it, going by what seems to make sense and all))

Yusuke came over and patted Touya on the back. "So... you seem a little off kilter. Something wrong?"

Touya shrugged. "Same song... maybe ten times... little bored."

Yusuke laughed, "You want something new, write another song!"

Yusuke had been joking, but Touya decided that was a good idea all the same. "Thanks Yusuke!" Touya hugged Yusuke real quick; then ran off to find paper and a pencil.

"Ah, how sweet. Yusuke's getting soft for his little boy-toy!" Kuwabara leered over Yusuke.

"What are you talking about? He's no boy-toy, and I don't like you disrespecting him." Yusuke growled.

"Aw, come on, your nickname for him is TOY-chan! He always does whatever you say; whatever makes you happy. And I KNOW you guys share more than a room. Shortie here's got good ears, and a good nose. I'll bet he was watching through the vent shafts too, drooling over you two!" Yusuke was getting madder with each word, and when Kuwabara mentioned Hiei ogling over Yusuke and Touya, both Yusuke and Hiei snapped.

"You Fucking moron, teach you to disrespect me and Touya!"

"I do NOT want to see Touya OR Yusuke naked! I only moved OUT when I realized they'd had sex!"

"Touya is not just a toy, and if you insult him again I'll tear out your tongue; it'd make for some welcome silence!"

"The thought of them together just creeps me out, I would never watch that, and I wasn't happy about hearing it – or smelling it – either!"

"Gah, okay guys! Back off! I was just kidding!"

About 15 minutes later Touya walked back in the room, took one look, shook his head, and sat down to start writing.

"Umm... Guys... YO, Crystal Tears!" one of the workers tried to stop the ruckus that was Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara. Touya, noticing the worker half in tears trying to decide what to do, whether he had to step in that most unpleasant mosh pit and pull them apart, stood up.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Boss wants ta' talk you four about the tour... Is that red-headed guy gonna be okay?" the worker looked queasy, at all the blood Kuwabara lost and the blows he was taking.

"Him? Yeah. They're never very happy about him. Sometimes I wonder if we'll last long as a band if they keep beating him up." Touya sighed. "In the mean time... Yusuke! Hold up." Touya laid a hand on Yusuke's shoulder and Yusuke glanced up, halfway through strangling Kuwabara while Hiei kicked at him some more. Touya sighed. "Let him go, this guy says the boss wants to talk to us about the tour." Yusuke dropped Kuwabara in a heartbeat, running over to the worker.

"Come on you guys, let's go!" Yusuke called. The worker looked frightened. Hiei kicked Kuwabara one more time.

"Hn." Hiei then followed Yusuke, Touya, and the worker. Kuwabara eventually stumbled over too.

"Then it's settled: You'll tour with K.O.D. this fall. Six months on the road, punking every turn of the wheel, eh, boys?" The boss ((producer? director? Who would be in charge of that kind of thing?)) said, and the four nodded eagerly. "Well, then, I guess we'll see you back, same day, same time, next week, right?"

"Yup!" was Yusuke's enthralled affirmative. The four of them, Crystal Tears, left, Hiei flitting off God knows where, Kuwabara getting a ride from his sister Shizuru to see Yukina, and Yusuke driving himself and Touya to his house on his motorcycle.


	43. First Day

"Come on Touya, help me finish packing!" Yusuke called, shoving the last of their equipment and such into the back of the bus. Even Touya and Hiei couldn't help but feel excited about finally going on tour.

"What's left?" Touya looked at the bare ground and packed bus.

Yusuke scratched his head. "Ummmm. Where's your stuff?" Touya blinked.

"Crap."

Yusuke started panicking. "Don't tell me you didn't pack?" he half begged Touya.

Touya smirked. "Kodak moment anyone?" He frowned. "I'm picking up way to many ningen mannerisms... Anyhow, it's already packed, remember?"

Yusuke thought back. "Oh, yeah, that's right. You really know what it means to travel light! But then, I guess you never really ever got much more than a few new pairs of clothes, since you mostly just wear mine. And a few random objects and necessaries." He shrugged.

Hiei poked his head out the bus door. "Are you guys coming?" He yelled. Touya and Yusuke walked over and climbed in.

"Yeah, yeah." Yusuke mumbled, looking over their new home. "Six months living in a bus? Oh, yay." He said. "Still, TOURING! And it's a pretty cool bus! We got wireless Internet, and gamecube, ps2, practically every other known console, TV, radio, an awesome stereo system, beds, god alone knows what else squirreled away!" Yusuke was in raptures, and even Touya couldn't help but laugh at Yusuke's glorified expression.

Touya sat down and began writing another song, as did Hiei. Kuwabara and Yusuke began playing some sort of racing game on gamecube. All was virtually silent, except for occasional triumphant or mournful shouts from Kuwabara and Yusuke as their game progressed.

Yusuke scowled at the beds. "They're too small," he said, hugging Touya. "We're gonna have to use separate ones." He continued.

"Thank god," Hiei and Kuwabara said, their voices coinciding. Yusuke turned his scowl on them, as Touya felt heat rise in his cheeks.

"We're so going to have to rent hotel rooms along the way Toy-chan. I'm going to miss not having so much privacy with you." Yusuke said, thumbing Touya's nose.

"Yeah, me too." Touya said, blushing more. "In the mean time? Umm, can we not talk about it in front of those two?" He gestured towards Hiei and Kuwabara who were struggling to contain their laughter. Yusuke scowled, punching the said two soundly.

"Point taken."


	44. Found

"No! Now you need to stay even more!" Hanaka said, standing up on her tiptoes to lay a flower wreath on Jin's head, the profits of her picking and braiding. Jin took the delicate circle from his head, looking at it carefully.

"You peopl' ar' to' kin'. I dun' deser' a mite' a' it." He shook his head, turning and laying the flower ring on Hanaka's golden tresses. "Your well named, aren' ya? Hanaka, flow'r chil'. But tha's 'nuff 'a me. I still gotta fin' 'im." Jin mumbled, looking about to leave again.

"No! Please, just one more week! You can leave then, just one week! You're arm still hasn't healed right again, and you still have so much more not fully healed either. You're still skinny as a needle! Please, stay!" Hanaka begged, grabbing Jin's arm. Tears began to fall from her eyes.

Jin looked at her, seeming confused and upset. "Dun' cry. No mur' tears, A' hate ta' see'em." Jin pleaded.

"Then stay." Runaku spoke up, placing a hand on Hanaka's shoulder. "We really don't mind; we want you to stay."

Jin sighed and nodded. "A week."

Hanaka was practically bouncing. Even for her, it was odd. Runaku and Jin stared, before Runaku asked. "What's going on?"

"Its that new band! Crystal tears! They're on tour with K.O.D. as the opening band!" She answered, practically giggling.

"Who are they?" Runaku asked; the name was familiar, but he couldn't place it.

"They haven't put out a CD yet, I think its still being put together, but there first hit is 'I'd Give it All'. It's been playing on the radio almost non-stop, it seems like they're an instant smash! I recorded it once from the radio, it's just a cassette tape, but still, you can listen, if you want." Hanaka explained, waving the cassette. Runaku shrugged and nodded; Jin remained silent.

Hanaka put the cassette in the stereo and hit play. After a moment the booming voice of some big shot 'punkin' radio announcer heralded Crystal Tears, and then the music faded in. Jin's ears twitched, and he mumbled to himself, absently, "Sounds like Touya. Buh Touya ne'er sings like tha'..." When the song was over he asked Hanaka, "Ya' have any pictures a'... ummm... Crystal Tears, was it?"

Hanaka nodded proudly. "I think the drummer's the cutest, but the lead singer/lead guitarist is pretty cute, of what you can see. He's got the whole mystery thing going for him." Hanaka lead the way back to her to her computer, logging online. "I book marked their website and a' bunch of others that had stuff on them. See, in all the publicity shots, the lead singer's wearing a veil, or else his face is in shadow. And he wears the coolest clothes! See?" Hanaka pointed at the picture that had just come up on the screen.

"Tha's Touya!" Jin cried, astonished.

Hanaka looked at him oddly. "Yes, the lead singer's name is Touya... How did you know?" she asked.

"No, that's Touya, the one I... I..." Jin couldn't bring himself to say it.

Hanaka's and Runaku's eyes widened, realizing what Jin meant. "We know," Runaku said, knowing how much it would hurt for Jin to admit once again to the horrible act he'd committed.

Jin grew pale and forlorn, looking at the picture more clearly now. It was clearly meant to be the cover of their CD once it came out. Touya, veiled, stood with his arms crossed in an X in front of him, daggers of ice in each hand, pointing out like extension of his arms. A ningen Jin soon recognized to be Yusuke stood right behind Touya, his arms crossed over Touya, and in his hands he held his drumsticks so they were perpendicular to the ground. Another ningen and youkai, recognized as Kuwabara and Hiei, flanked Yusuke and Touya, each with their own swords of power. ((Kuwa-kun's rei sword and Hiei's black fire sword refuses to call it by English dub name but doesn't remember Jap. Name))

"A' knew, when A' foun' out... I knew he'd be safe with tha' ningen, Yusuke. Seems he's mor' an safe, tho." Jin said morosely.

"We can get you tickets to that concert, when it comes by. Then you can go find him after the show, or at least try. It's not till next month though... ummm, October 21, I think is when they're here." Hanaka said, concerned, and knowing Jin's desire to tell Touya he was sorry.

Jin shook his head. "A'... A' dunno. Yes, please. Jus' ta' see... tha' he's happy. If he is... A' won' come and wreck tha' for him." He sighed.


	45. Oct 21 Another Concert

Sheer boredom made Yusuke ride his motorcycle after the bus, and Touya had joined him. Once again, Yusuke thanked the gods for having found a way to trailer his motorcycle to the back of the bus. Actually, it wasn't really trailered but... minor details didn't matter. His tension was lifting though; they were almost at their next stop, and they would be able to perform that night. He couldn't wait to play again. None of them could.

He pulled into the lot behind the bus and Touya practically jumped off the motorcycle. "Bless the gods, finally! Off the road for a few nights!" Touya exclaimed.

Yusuke laughed. "Yeah, we're gonna paint the town red! We're gonna have a blast tonight!" Hiei and Kuwabara emerged from the bus, both clearly excited as well.

"I'm gone. When do I need to be back?" Hiei asked.

"Umm, in few hours to help set up. Like, I guess be back by 4-4:30..." Yusuke answered.

"Great." Hiei left quickly, no doubt planning to steal anything he needed. Money was no object for him. Or Touya or Yusuke, though Kuwabara refused to steal. Kuwabara went off his own way, and Yusuke took Touya's hand.

"Come on, let's get something decent to eat for once, huh? Subway sounds almost God-like right now. I actually have money too!" Yusuke explained, causing Touya to grin and laugh.

"Yes, something besides those nasty items they call 'food' at places like McDonald's and Wendy's... Sounds wonderful." Touya added, and was quickly swept away. Neither felt like riding Yusuke's motorcycle at the moment; they had been sitting more than long enough.

"Lessee now, seems like we just found food court, or something. So you pick, whaddya want? Looks like we got Greek, Mexican, Italian, seafood, deli, grill... and some other stuff... yup..." Yusuke looked around, wondering what kind of food some of these restaurants were offering.

Touya looked slightly overwhelmed... "Ummm, something?"

Yusuke laughed. "Ok then, looks like I'm deciding after all. Seafood sounds good, agree?"

"Sure."

"Hey Hiei." Yusuke called, noting his friend, teammate, and fellow band member approach. "Come on, you gotta help unpack your equipment!"

Hiei was there in a moment, grabbing his guitar from Yusuke, scowling slightly. Yusuke laughed, recognizing the glare to be a 'don't touch, it's mine!' sort.

Touya looked at his guitar, about to pull the strap over his head, when he noticed someone had put a small red button on it that read 'I Am Loved' in bold white letters. He grinned at Yusuke, putting down the guitar a moment to go over and hug his love. "You can have no idea what that means to me." he said, standing up to give Yusuke a brief kiss. Yusuke beamed, scooping up his drumsticks and heading onto the stage.

Pulling his veil into place, as he had so many times before by now, Touya and the others took their places on stage. The audience was full of screaming teens, and not just a few punk adults and parents. The adrenaline was catching, and the four of them were jittery, especially shy Touya. Not that he hadn't done this before, but still...

"Hey. I'm Touya, and we're Crystal Tears. I'm sure all of you are already aware that we are opening for K.O.D., so we'll go ahead and get started, play a few songs, and then we'll let the real show begin, right?" Cheering met this statement, and Touya continued. "First song we're gonna play is 'I'd give it all'; I hope you guys enjoy it." Touya shifted slightly from foot to foot as Yusuke tapped his drumsticks together, counting down for them to start.

Sound exploded forth, and not one of the four could hear themselves play, or hear the shouts of the people in the audience; not one of them was aware of themselves or what was going on around them, caught up in experience, the sound, the vibrations that jolted through them from the loud music. Lights flashed, keyed to the music, smoke and steam clogged the air and made it misty, and several somebodies in the crowd had pot and other drugs, which made for a very interesting high for the members of Crystal Tears. Heat radiated from all the moshing going on and the large lights, till even Touya began sweating. Not one of them wanted to pause between songs to announce the names and the other stuff Touya was supposed to say, preferring to just let it all flow together. However, stop they did. More than one amusing incident occurred during those pauses.

"Ok next song is... Hey, you three girls in front, with the poster." Three girls dressed in the 'goth/whore' fashion, started giggling, hoisting a poster that read 'We Love You, Toy-Chan!' "My name is Touya, not Toy-chan. K?" Touya was again grateful for the veil, which concealed his flaming cheeks.

A chorus of groans rose from the three, and a few other random girls in the crowd who had apparently used the nickname too. "Ummm, sorry?" he said, a little confused.

The girls started laughing again, and Touya was about to continue when he heard them yell, "It's okay Touya; we still love you!"

Blushing brighter, he finally continued, quite brilliantly, "Ummm, right then... I'm taken." Yusuke made sure to draw attention to himself, by tapping on the cymbals and waving a hand in the air, pointing at Touya, then himself. More groans were heard. "Yes, well... I'm sure the rest of you didn't come here to listen to me be embarrassed by a few fans so, on then... Next song: 'Vengeance'."

Later, Touya caused not just a little surprise in the crowd by turning to ice and shattering a shoe thrown at the stage. ((LOL, its funny when shoes get thrown up on stage! For those of you who haven't been to concerts, yes, it does happen!)) You'd think he would have learned by that point most ningens aren't used to such spectacles. Made for a great concert video though. -

Finally, their part in the concert was over. They said they're goodbyes and Yusuke surprised everyone by racing up to Touya, yanking his guitar off him, and scooping him up; carrying Touya and his guitar offstage. For the millionth time, Touya was glad for the veil that hid his blush, as he waved a timid goodbye. A mix of jealous groans and adoring coos followed them offstage. ((I would groan AND coo, personally! W00t! ))


	46. Final Encounter

Touya stood up rather abruptly, while packing away his guitar and some of the electronic equipment. He had finally recognized that annoying, tiny wisp of youki. He hadn't expected to ever see that particular trace again, and had no desire to now. It had been so long, and what with the energy of the concert, he hadn't been able to recognize the youki, and its faintness didn't help. Jin was back.

He turned towards the scrap of youki, and conveniently, Yusuke was looking the same way. Both saw a flash of red curls and dulled sapphire eyes that widened in alarm. Touya looked in shock at Jin's fleeing shadow, and Yusuke trembled in anger, having also recognized Jin's youki. Even though he hadn't learned it at the dark tournament, Jin's distinctive traces had been left on Touya for weeks after the rape, and still hung faintly around the red imprint of his hand on Touya's cheek. It was enough for Yusuke to recognize it to be the same person, even if he didn't know it was Jin.

"What could he be doing here?" Touya pondered.

"Let's find out. Hey Hiei, Kuwabara, you guys close up shop for us, okay? We have something of an errand to run." Yusuke called out the latter, whispered the former.

"Romantic escapade?" Hiei called back.

Touya blushed. "Not really. Just got some business to take care of." Yusuke called back, taking Touya's hand. "Let's go, quick."

They walked till they were out of sight, then chased after Jin, easily tracking his youki among all the pathetically weak ningen ki. Eventually he ran into an alley. Only if he flew would he be able to escape, which would be like raising a red flag in enemy territory. Instead, he tried to hide behind a bunch of trashcans, breathing shallowly.

Yusuke scowled. Did Jin think they were that stupid? Or was he just not thinking straight? Probably the later of the two. Yusuke kicked over the trashcans, revealing a shaken Jin.

"What brings you here? Round two with Touya? You run off because you realize I'm not about to let you hurt him again?" Yusuke asked; his face warped with malice and utter disgust. Touya looked confused and angry.

Jin stood shakily. "No, na' tha' Urameshi. A' jus'... wan'ed ta' see he was happy... I didn' inten' on botherin' either o' ya'. A' had planned... if Touya was happy, A' woulda' left him alone. An' if he wasn't... A' dunno... I wanted to apologize. Please Touya, forgi' me, A' was so drunk. Reisho tol' me la'er, tha' I beat ya'. A' swear it, I'll ne'er drink again! A' dun care if ya' dun' wanna stay wi' me, A' un'erstan'; if ya'll jus' forgi' me!"

Touya looked at Jin incredulously; distaste becoming more apparent by the passing minutes. "Forgive you... for what did you say?" Touya asked, hackles raised, his voice biting like the ice he controlled.

"Fer... Fer beatin' ya'... Af'er the Dark Tournamen'..." Jin answered, confused.

Touya's eyes actually blazed, and he finally tore off the veil concealing his lower face, revealing the unfading imprint of Jin's hand. "See the token you left on me? Just a physical reminder, every day, to me and Yusuke, and anyone who sees me, of what you did. And it was not just a beating. Oh no, if that was all you did I could have coped, easily; beatings are something I'm quite used to, in fact. No, you raped me, you drunken son of a bitch!" he yelled. Even Yusuke was surprised, but proud, of his outburst, and Jin cowered, his precious winds beginning to form around him, protectively encircling him.

"A'... A' didn'; A' would ne'er..." Jin mumbled, desperately trying to ignore it, but the memories began crying out to him, first quietly, and he tried to quench their voices.

"You did. Do you know just How much that hurt me? Even just being raped I could deal with, but it was you. With Gama dead, you were the only one left at the time that I thought I could trust. You, Gama, and my mother had been the only ones to ever show me any compassion until Yusuke found me. I loved you you stupid, stupid, bastard! And you, you RAPED ME! While you were tracking me down, did you ever listen to some of the songs I've written and sang? They're all about you, you know. How you shamed me and hurt me. How I can't help but die inside when I think of you, that someone who mattered so much to me would hurt me so much? Guess what, you found me, and I'm glad to have you out of my life. All this time I'd hoped you were dead so I wouldn't have to meet with you again, like this! Why don't you leave me the fuck alone?"

Jin felt tears gather at his eyes, tears that were hot and slow to fall, like acid down his cheeks. He felt the air growing colder with Touya's anger, as his youki naturally tried to fight for him. The memories all resurfaced now, blocked by drink and the desire to forget. He moaned in horror. "A' rem'ber now. Oh ma' god, Touya... A', A'm so sorry! A', A' know ya can't forgi' me now. Oh god... A'll ne'er drink again; A' know ya' can't forgi' me, but please, could ya' jus', jus' acknowledge my apology?"

Touya's rage seemed to disappear, though both Yusuke and Jin knew he was just hiding it. He now spoke and acted just like his element he controlled, ice, and the air grew still colder, as icicles began to form from ledges and Yusuke's and Jin's breath rose in little puffs. "You're such a moronic, drunken, asshole. You don't deserve to be called scum, and you certainly don't deserve my acknowledgement. You're not worth me wasting so much energy and emotion on. You couldn't even remember your own crime, not even after almost a year. Stupid, drunk fool. I don't believe you can give up drinking, and I don't believe you realize just how deep the scar runs. It'll take more than a bandage to fix. And I don't want you to fix it. Yusuke does a much better job of tending wounds than you ever did, with all your clumsiness."

Each word cut Jin like a knife, and he cringed as each fell from Touya's lips. Tears streamed openly from his eyes now, and his ears, already much droopier than Touya remembered ever having seen them, fell further with each harshly monotone word. He had been a bit hunched with timidity before, but now it seemed he was trying to hide himself from the world. "Yer righ'. Ya' always wer'," Jin choked out a slight, nostalgic laugh. "A' dun deserv' ta' even look at ya'. If there's no more ya' wanna say, than A'll go ahea' an' leave. A'll go far away, an' A'll not bother ya' again. I swear it. If A' do, A'll bare ma' throat fer ya' two ta' slit." Sobs choked his words, but Touya was cold as his element, and Yusuke quite nearly.

"No, I think I'm done. Let's go please, Yusuke. You know how I dislike trash." Touya said, a last biting insult striking Jin hard, a final reminder. Yusuke nodded, "I agree. We still have our stuff to put away."

Jin huddled in a corner of the alley, but then a last thought struck him. "Las' thin'..." he asked, voice quivering. Touya turned and glared at him. Jin gulped. "Ya' said tha' mark on yer face was a constan' remin'er. Do ya... wanna... give me something to remin' me?"

"No Jin. I don't want to touch you. I don't want to have anything in common with you. And if I start, I won't stop till you're dead. And I don't want your filthy, corrupting, violent, sake-drenched blood on my hands." Touya replied, icy as ever.

Jin cringed again with each one of these new insults. He pushed himself into the corner of the alley where the walls meant, sliding down and curling into the fetal position as Touya turned again and he and Yusuke left, Yusuke draping an arm protectively over Touya's shoulders.


	47. Breakdown

A note on the bus door explained that Hiei and Kuwabara had left to get dinner and would be back later. Yusuke stepped into the bus and moments after having closed and locked the door; Touya was on him, kissing him frantically, caressing him anxiously. Yusuke put his arms warmly around Touya, rubbing his back gently, responding softly to the eager kisses. He eventually drew his hands up to Touya's face, tenderly cupping it and pulling Touya's face away. "Are you all right?" he asked, knowing what the answer would be already, but understanding that the question would also open the flood gates and Touya would be able to deal with everything he was feeling.

Touya broke down in sobs, hugging Yusuke close to him. "I had thought, even hoped, that he was dead... why did he have to come back? Did I do the right thing, Yusuke? Should I have accepted his apology? Should I at least have heard him out? Or was I right not to?" Touya begged, desperate to know if he had made the right decision.

Yusuke sighed. "I'm not sure. No one can be about something like that. But if nothing else, I believe you were certainly justified. And I think you didn't really have many options. Don't beat yourself up over it. He's not worth the pain he's put you through; been putting you through," Yusuke answered, showing rare eloquence.

Touya sobbed in Yusuke's grasp, taking comfort in his warmth. Suddenly his legs just gave out; he'd simply had too much. Yusuke kept him from falling, and carried him back to the 'bedroom', sitting with his legs out on the narrow bed, Touya in his lap.

"You want something to drink, eat?" Yusuke asked quietly, running his hands through Touya's hair.

"No..." was the whispered answer. "I wish... I wish we were back home, so we could make love and forget all this." Touya breathed, and Yusuke smiled slightly, nodding.

"That'd be nice." So together they lay till Touya fell asleep on top of Yusuke, his hands pressed against Yusuke's firm, reassuring chest, his head laying against Yusuke's own, legs entangled with Yusuke's. The covers were pulled up to their waists, but could go no further since they were still sitting up.

Yusuke heard the door unlocking, and the sound of footsteps; Hiei and Kuwabara were back. Hiei stepped in, took one look, and said, "Yes, it was a romantic escapade, wasn't it?"

Yusuke scowled. "Quite the opposite, in fact." Touya had never told anyone but Yusuke about what Jin had done. "I can't explain, it's his story to tell, but I can say this: we met a phantom from the past that should have stayed in the past, and preferably leave his memories."

Hiei nodded. "Hn."


	48. SelfTorture plans

Jin sat sobbing in that corner of the alley all night long. The next morning, Hanaka and Runaku came looking for him, expecting he would be back by then. One look at his face and they didn't have to ask if he'd gotten to talk to Touya. It was obvious he had, and things had not gone his way.

"Come on back with us." Hanaka murmured, taking his hand.

Tears still fell from Jin's eyes. "A' hav ta' leave soon. A' swore. A'd go far away, ne'er bother him again. Ne'er again..." Jin sobbed, his heart broken.

Hanaka and Runaku were both deeply concerned for their wounded friend. "Just stay a few days then, get some food and such to take with you." Hanaka pleaded. As always, Jin gave into the flower girl, unable to deny that kind face.

"He'd been so excited too... he was nervous, yes, but anxious... to be able to see the one he loved again, even if he planned to stay out of the way. And now, this. Apparently Touya wouldn't accept his apology. Poor man. He'd actually hoped, I think. I think he'd actually even been almost something like happy. Worried, and sad because he was pretty sure Touya was perfectly happy with Yusuke and the others, but he'd been so excited to be able to see Touya again in real life." Hanaka said to Miwako and Runaku.

"Yes, I'd agree. But I also know he's not too surprised that Touya scorned him. The memories, the realization that he did, in fact, rape his friend, is what surprised him most. As hurt as he was before, he still had some miniscule chance that Touya would forgive him, or would even stay with him. But now, even that pathetic, not even half chance, is gone. He has no desire to live anymore. He only takes care of himself because he thinks of each day as another one to live with the knowledge, and therefore pain, of what he's done, and he feels he deserves living with that pain and more over his head. He doesn't let himself die because it's too easy. That sad, pitiful dear. All he's been through, yet he still thinks he hasn't fully suffered for his sins, so he does this." Miwako sighed, shaking her head despairingly.

Runaku sighed with Miwako. "All that and more. The other day he asked me to get a picture of Touya and Yusuke together, to remind him of what could never be his. He just can't suffer enough. I wouldn't get him the picture and he just got upset, though he's too whipped to complain any. And I found out: he intends to leave tomorrow, regardless. He said he swore he'd get away and leave Touya alone, and he won't break that." All three commenced a drawn-out, group sigh.

"I want to go with him. To take care of him." Hanaka said. Runaku and Miwako looked up in surprise.

"You do?" Miwako asked. "You realize he plans a hard path full of misery for himself?"

Hanaka nodded. "I hope I can stay him from a little of that."


	49. Mornign After

Touya woke gradually, to the feel of warm hands trailing through his hair and up and down the length of his spine. He shuddered slightly with the light touch, looking up at Yusuke blearily. "Please... please say it was a nightmare, nothing more." Touya dreaded the answer, for he knew what Yusuke would say.

Yusuke heaved a sigh. "No Toy-chan. It was real."

Touya buried his face against Yusuke's chest, letting his love's flesh muffle the groan he made. "Why can't it all just go away?" he asked, lifting put his face next to Yusuke's. He leaned in, stealing a kiss, then surrendering to Yusuke's tongue the second time around.

"Because. Life is great, but reality's a whore. It seems God has a sense of sadistic humor." Yusuke answered when they broke away. He ran his hands softly over Touya's face, through his hair, helping his tiny lover to calm down.

Touya sighed. "That would explain a lot more than it doesn't," he commented.

Yusuke grinned. "For instance: finally getting to go on tour, but not being able to afford hotel rooms, meaning we're stuck in these narrow beds. It just taunts me. You know?" Yusuke thumbed Touya's nose playfully.

Touya smiled back. "Yeah. I know exactly."

"Well, it still makes no sense, but it seems Yusuke told the truth; there was no romance in last night's agenda for you two." Hiei said from the bunk above them.

"NANI?!?" Both Yusuke and Touya half-yelled at the same time.

Hiei hopped down from said bunk, turning to face them. He smirked. "So what did happen, anyhow? What could happen to a shinobi that he would hope it was just a nightmare?"

Yusuke glared at Hiei as Touya absently put a hand to conceal the ever-present mark on his face. Hiei took a closer look at Touya, noticing the timidity in his motion and eyes. His eyes widened. "You didn't see... The one who left you with that?" he asked.

Touya looked up at him, nodding slowly. "Jin."

Hiei's eyes bulged. "The wind master you seemed so attached to at the Dark Tournament?" Touya nodded.

"Don't tell anyone else. At all." Touya pleaded, and Yusuke backed him up.

"I've known for a long time now, and even ****I**** could keep it secret. If you can't, I will both be shocked and lose all respect for you. Secrets are something you should be good at."

Hiei scowled, rather insulted by Yusuke's speech. "Of course. No one else will hear it from me." Glaring a moment more he continued. "It's breakfast time. Are you guys planning on having anything?"

Yusuke grinned, saying jokingly, "Mmmm, I want Toy-chan!" causing Touya to blush and slap him. Yusuke laughed. "I can cheer up anyone, given a little time." Touya grinned, unable to deny the fact. Yusuke scooped him up and stood, carrying him out; following Hiei, who was trying not to laugh.


	50. Surprise!

"I got a surprise for you Toy-chan!" Yusuke grinned. Touya looked up from his notebook, where he'd been writing yet another song. He'd been churning them out since encountering Jin again. Not that it was any big surprise.

Touya frowned a Yusuke, lifting an eyebrow. He didn't alwayslike Yusuke's surprises. "Yes?" He asked.

Yusuke must have read Touya's mind, "Oh, you'll like this! I got us reservations at a hotel next stop!" Yusuke said, pulling a little slip of paper that looked like a receipt from his pocket. Not even seconds later he was knocked over by a very happy Touya! Yusuke laughed. "We can finally sleep in an actual bed!" After taking a look at Touya's hungry eyes, he continued joyously, "Or not sleep!"

Touya blushed and smacked Yusuke playfully. "Hentai."

"What can I say, you make me that way!" ((W00T! That rhymed!)) Yusuke replied. He then continued, "Besides, don't deny you start getting those hentai urges when you look at me!"

Touya grinned. "Only you." The two proceeded to laugh happily, hugging the shit out of one another for joy. ((Emphasis on the word shit... LOL JK, they didn't literally hug the shit out of one another! I bet you thought they did! - I'm glad I cleared that up for you!))

Hiei and Kuwabara were left in a state of slight shock. Kuwabara spoke, "I'm not sure whether to be glad you two are getting a chance to left off steam before you just do each other in front of us, or disgusted by the fact that you will naturally be doing each other in a hotel."

Hiei snorted. "And you realize how horribly cliché that is, right?"

Touya paused. "It's like in all those romance novels I steal. Hey! I just realized! My whole life is like a romance novel!" EVERYONE laughed at this, then Yusuke interrupted. ((I am sad... my story is like a cheesy dime-store romance...--; someone wipe the tears away! ;;))

"Umm, Touya, you read romance novels?" Touya blushed. He hadn't meant to let that slip! So what if he really liked the cheap, over-dramatized, two-dimensional characterizations of people struggling through improbable, rare, sometimes almost impossible circumstances???? So what if he liked the cheesy, overly emotional portrayal of normal events??? SO?!?!?!

"Umm, sometimes... If I'm... bored..." he replied.

Yusuke smirked. "That explains more than it doesn't... I didn't even think Atsuko-san could read, and I never would have thought she'd be interested in stuff like that! Didn't really expect you to either, but as you pointed out, your whole life is like a bad romance novel! Besides, you've been traumatized!" Yusuke joked, cupping Touya's face gently in his hands.

Touya laughed uneasily. "I'd agree with that." Hiei actually looked kind of concerned, and KuwaBAKA just stared like an idiot.

"Right then, you two should probably pack so you can go to the hotel, and, um, work out a little stress?" Kuwabara said, scratching his head.

Yusuke grinned. "Talk about stress! I don't think we've even gotten past a rare light kiss since we started this damn tour. Let alone anything more! By the way, you know what's a great song?"

Touya FINALLY got off Yusuke, and shook his head. "Nani?"

Yusuke also stood and began singing one of his favorites, which caused Touya to become a lovely shade of scarlet. "'I wanna fuck you like an animal! I wanna feel you from the inside!'" Touya clapped a hand over Yusuke's mouth.

"Don't we all. In the mean time, who's the lead singer? Who is going to do all the singing?" Yusuke gestured to Touya in response to the first question. "Sorry, no offense, but lets keep it that way." Touya smiled very slightly at the last part of his statement. He pulled his hand away and Yusuke grinned.

Yusuke let forth a mock sigh, before stating dramatically, "I GUESS so..." Kuwabara excused himself to the bathroom in a panic and Hiei wrinkled his nose, noticing a small puddle where Kuwabara once stood.

"Kuso." Hiei said, in reference to his unpleasant discovery.

Yusuke noticed also. "Actually, Hiei, that's not kuso, it's-"

"I know what it is, baka hentai kisama!"


	51. Hot Tub

Warnings: Limeleading rapidly to lemon, no actual lemon in this chappie though.

"C'mon Touya!" Yusuke laughed, dragging Touya down the hall to their room. He pushed the plastic 'key' in and opened the door, throwing down his stuff and sweeping up Touya.

Touya laughed, happy to be alone with Yusuke. Yusuke laid Touya on the bed, hopping up to straddle his love. He began to softly kiss at Touya's neck. "Not yet love, it's too early! I want a decent bath first, I feel like I have years of grime clinging to me!" Touya said, gently pushing Yusuke away.

Yusuke grinned. "I suppose you're right. Tell you what. They've got a nice bath house downstairs, we'll go hit that."

"It's so hot!" Touya panted, wiping his bangs away from his face as he entered the steamy room. Yusuke and Touya pulled off their robes, and Yusuke wasn't sure whether to be glad or indignant that he had, at one point or another, gotten Touya a pair of swim trunks.

Yusuke scooped up Touya and put him in the bath, laughing softly as Touya gasped at the heat. He joined Touya immediately, sinking gratefully into the warm water. Touya could feel himself growing drowsy from the heat, his breath still coming in pants. His wet hair clung to him, often sweeping over an eye.

Yusuke glanced at Touya. His lover's skin was flushed a delightful soft pink. The warm water that covered him lent a soft glisten to his flesh. His chest rose slowly with his breath, his lips parted slightly, deliciously. "I'm so hot." Touya muttered.

"I'll say." Yusuke replied, grinning and wrapping an arm around Touya's back. Touya smiled, leaning against Yusuke. "Needa take you hot-tubbing more often." Yusuke said, smiling. Touya laughed slightly.

He was abruptly cut off as Yusuke cupped his chin and turned up his face to kiss. Yusuke pushed his tongue in, sampling Touya's mouth once again. Touya lifted his arms to encircle Yusuke, his hands resting delicately on his love's back. Yusuke pulled away a moment to catch his breath before kissing Touya once again, letting his hands roam over Touya's back and rear. Touya shuddered, this time thrusting his own tongue into Yusuke's mouth. This time when they pulled away, they smiled softly, and Yusuke said, "C'mon, let's leave."

They pulled on their robes, not even bothering to dry off. They chased each other up to their room, and Yusuke fumbled with the key, finally opening the door for them both. He scooped Touya up and tossed him on the bed, eagerly kissing Touya's throat, pulling the robe open to continue down Touya's chest. Touya moaned softly, grinning excitedly, burying his hands in Yusuke's hair.


	52. Jin Leaves

Jin looked mournfully at Hanaka. "Chil', ya don' wanna be comin' with me! Ya don' deserve to follow my footsteps. Ya deserve much be'er. Go back ta yer Runaku." He pleaded.

Hanaka scowled and shook her head. "You don't deserve whatever it is you plan on doing either. I'm coming with you to see that you spare yourself some."

"Ya don' know! Ya don' know! I didn' know till he tol' me! I didn' jus' beat him, Hanaka! I… I raped him! I'm lucky I even got ta fin' out! Now go, please! Go ta Runaku and Miwako, an' let me suffer myself ta live." Jin replied, in tears.

Hanaka looked horrified. "He lied… You wouldn't harm a thing!'

"No, I r'mber doin' it to him. Once he said it… I r'mbered…" Jin said, walking away.

"All the more reason for me to come with you! To make sure no one else is hurt!" Hanaka yelled, running to catch up.

Jin cringed. "Jus' stay. I deserve no sympathy." Jin then decided it was time to take to the air, for the first time in ages. Hanaka stared in awe as Jin began to fly, speeding away from her.

"IF YOU GET YOURSELF KILLED, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" She shouted after him. Finally, she walked back home.

"He's gone. He wouldn't let me come with him." She said to Miwako and Runaku.

Runaku sighed. "I'm not surprised he wouldn't let you come. He's too good a sort to want to get anyone else tangled up in his problems." Miwako said.


	53. Needing You

Yusuke ran loving hands over Touya's skin, so delightfully warm and wet and flushed. He laid another kiss on Touya's face, "You smell like you love me," he muttered, stroking the sensitive skin of Touya's upper, inner thighs.

Touya smiled drowsily. "Sorry. Next time I'll try and remember to wear cologne." Yusuke laughed at Touya's sleepy answer, pulling his beloved Touya closer.

"You feel better now? Seems like I couldn't pull off your trunks fast enough." Yusuke mumbled, bringing his hand up to stroke Touya's soft, smooth cheeks.

Touya shifted and brought his arms around Yusuke's neck, letting his hands softly caress Yusuke's back and neck. "I feel so much better. I needed you so much Yusuke. It had been so long, and then he showed up, and it was like he'd raped me all over again. I just needed you so much!" Touya began to cry softly against Yusuke's shoulder, taking comfort in Yusuke's reassuring arms.

"Hush Toy-chan, I know. It's okay though, he's gone, and I'll never leave you, never hurt you. Neither will he, if I have anything to do with it. I won't let him touch you; even speak to you again. Not unless you ask it. Even when our souls rest in the reikai. You're mine, and I take care of what's mine." Yusuke said, consoling his exhausted lover. Touya's tears stopped slowly, and he fell asleep, gently in his lover's arms.

"You guys feel all better?" Kuwabara asked, half-grinning.

Yusuke smiled brightly. "Oh much. Touya's a demon in bed!" Hiei and Kuwabara snorted at the bad joke, while Touya blushed.

"Thanks? I love you, too, Yusuke." Touya said, sounding a bit confused, then sarcastic.

"Hey, it's all in good fun!" Yusuke pulled Touya in for a kiss, which lasted a little too long for Kuwabara's comfort, although Hiei had sufficiently gotten used to it, and merely continued packing Yusuke and Touya's belongings.

"Okay, break it up! You're freakin' me out, guys." Kuwabara said, when he noticed Yusuke's hands fumbling with the back of Touya's shirt.

Yusuke pulled away softly, panting and grinning very happily. Touya smiled, stopping to lay a soft kiss on Yusuke's lips before stepping out of the embrace. "We should get going. Besides, I've got lots of inspiration I need to translate to music now!" Touya smiled, boarding the bus after a very creeped out Kuwabara.

"You're not going to start singing on stage about the stuff ya'll… do, are you?" Kuwabara asked. Touya's just let his smile grow a notch. Kuwabara shivered. "You two are scaring me. I'm beginning to wonder if touring with you guys wasn't such a good idea after all."

"No ideas involving you are good ones." Hiei pointed out.

"Watch it, shortie!" Kuwabara growled.

Hiei smirked. "Stop bluffing. We both know I can wipe the floor with you if I want to. Stick to playing the guitar; it's something you're actually good at." Kuwabara scowled and promptly went as far away as he could get from Hiei without leaving the bus. Hiei, Touya, and Yusuke laughed.

"SHUT UP!" The three began laughing harder at this demand.


	54. Touch me Take me

Yusuke peered over Touya's shoulder, reading as his lover wrote the lyrics for his latest song. He grinned eagerly. "Oh, I can do that," he said, looking at the very… erotic lines.

Touya blushed. "I know that all too well. Where do you think my inspiration for this came from?"

Yusuke smiled. "I love the chorus: Touch me, take me / Heat my skin / Make me, break me / the line is thin. / Kiss me, love me / I know you will / Hold me, want me / my desires fulfill. The title, I assume, is Touch me, Take me?"

Touya grinned. "Of course. My only concern is will Kuwabara and Hiei play this?"

Yusuke shrugged, "Well, the music is good and they don't have to sing it. We can pummel Kuwabaka into it, and I don't think Hiei will really care."

Touya laughed at Kuwabara's latest nickname. "You're diabolical, Yusuke."

Yusuke snickered, replying, "Oooh, big word! Learn that from your romance novels?"

Touya turned brilliant red. "What if I said yes?"

Yusuke looked somewhat dumbfounded, and replied, "Then I would be silent and I would blink at you, like this." Yusuke blinked. Again. Three times. ((anime sweat drops have now appeared on both Touya and Yusuke's heads!))

Touya grinned, laughing and broke the silence. "It's a good thing I didn't then!"

Yusuke smirked. "Sure, Toy-chan." After a moment or two, Yusuke spoke again. "Heh, I got an idea for a great music video for this one!"

Touya looked at Yusuke wide-eyed. "I can only think of one thing we could possibly do in the video for this particular song other than just showing us playing the song and the answer is no."

Yusuke pouted, "Ah, but it's not like they have to ever show anything! We can go through an edit out anything we don't want people to see. Don't even have to censor, just take out all together! They don't even have to see your face!"

Touya sighed. "You are going to have to do so much ass kissing if we do that. Even with everything like that taken out."

Yusuke smiled. "Oh, I would do so much ass kissing even if we don't!" He said, grabbing Touya's rear. He snickered, "mmMmm, yummy!"

Touya grinned, putting aside his music sheets and sliding back into Yusuke's lap. "Sure as hell better. You've gotten me used to it, if you start slacking off I'm going to get upset."


	55. Marked Eternal

Yusuke smiled, beginning to massage Touya's shoulders, which he knew would have been tensed from leaning over the notepad so long. He gently kissed Touya's neck, lightly nibbling the soft skin. Continuing to rub Touya's shoulders, Yusuke commented, "Well, it's not your ass, but it'll have to do for now. Besides, that's what I was doing all last night, haven't you had enough of that for a little while, you animal?"

Touya let his eyes fall shut and took on a peaceful, contented expression. "I suppose it'll satisfy me for a while," he observed placidly. Yusuke chuckled, giving Touya another brush of a kiss.

He then bit down on the place where Touya's neck met his shoulder, slowly biting harder and harder. Touya whimpered softly as the skin broke, and in an instinct Yusuke did not yet know he possessed; Yusuke pushed some of his Ki into Touya. He pulled away slowly, baffled. "What did I just do?" he muttered, and Touya looked stunned.

Touya turned to face him; "You… you marked me… When demons mark each other, they bite one another and exchange youki. Then, the marked demons are bonded eternally, mates for life. They are constantly aware of one another; their well-being, emotions… I was not… aware… that ningens also carried on this practice."

Yusuke looked stunned, slowly turning Touya's head back to lick up the slight amount of blood that came from the wound. The blood gone, he pulled away to look at Touya again. "That's because they don't… So why did I? How did I know?" he asked himself.

Touya murmured in return, "There's always been more to you than meets the eye Urameshi Yusuke." He turned completely around, straddling Yusuke in a manner. ((Right now, it prolly looks like Touya is gonna give Yusuke a lap dance haha. It would be funny for Kuwabaka or Hiei to walk in there now.)) Touya leaned over and bit Yusuke's neck in turn, pushing his youki into the open wound. He licked up the blood slowly, savoring it, as all demons do ((savor it)), regardless of who or what the blood comes from.

Touya looked Yusuke shyly in the eyes. "There. Now we're both marked. You can never leave me, Yusuke. I know you wouldn't. And I can never leave you. Who else would be as good for me?" Touya whispered.

Yusuke saw clearly that this was important to Touya, and he could feel in himself strong emotions rising. Like falling in love all over again, and Yusuke had a feeling even if Touya hadn't explained, he would still know the significance of what he'd done. "Never leave. I never will. Not even in death." He replied just as softly, and he sealed his words with a kiss that was soft and slow and heated.


	56. Koenma's Help

Jin didn't fly long. He came to another small island, this time checking to be sure it was uninhabited. He landed and sat in a treetop, wondering what he would be best off doing. Then it occurred to him. Koenma. Koenma had jurisdiction over the Reikai, he was the judge of all things, unless his father overruled him, and he would have work for Jin, hard work. Penance work.

Jin flew then to the Reikai, this time seeking a very different sort of help from Koenma-sama. As he entered the palace, he met Botan once again. She looked at him in shock, and did not appear happy to see Jin again. Of course, Jin's views were biased; he didn't think anyone would want to see him. He didn't want to see him.

"Jin? What are you doing back here?" She asked. Her voice seemed almost scolding, as though he were a naughty child back in the detention room.

Jin averted his gaze, afraid of angering anyone else. "I was hopin' Koenma-sama would gimme work… penance fer what I've done, I guess." He mumbled.

Botan nodded. The youkai they had watching Jin was sneaky; he had been able to see Touya denounce Jin so thoroughly and report to Botan and Koenma Jin's revelations of what he'd done. Therefore, Botan understood why Jin now came, and she gestured for him to follow her back.

"Koenma-sama?" Botan called out, entering what appeared to be an empty office.

"Oh good, you're here!" Koenma said, spinning his large chair around. He then noticed Jin and frowned slightly. "Jin? Can I help you?"

Jin ducked his head, an affirmative. "Koenma-sama. Yeh know I've done… Horrible things… I wanna' do some kinda penance… I thought… thought yeh might hav' summin' I can do ta, ta start ta try ta make up for all I've done. I don't want nuthin fer anythin' I do, just… just summin' ta do."

Koenma looked thoughtful. "Well, of course there's always something that needs doing and no one can get around to it. I'll give you room and board, food and what not, and you'll take care of those odd jobs and such then?"

Jin nodded. "Anythin' yeh wan' me ta do, Koenma-sama."


	57. World of Crystal Tears

The next morning, Yusuke got a shock when he looked in the mirror. Over the exact spot were Touya had marked him was… a marking. A small black design, a heart with a teardrop hanging from it. Yusuke put a hand to it curiously, rubbing to see if it would come off. It didn't. Touya entered and saw it too.

"I guess that's our mark." Touya said. He showed Yusuke; he now bore the same design in the same place. "It's different for every couple. It depends on their attributes and personalities and what not. It's always black, unless one of us is in trouble. Then it glows red and burns." Touya explained.

Yusuke nodded. "Somehow, I knew that. I don't know how though. And I couldn't have said it if you'd asked. I just… knew." Yusuke wrapped his arms around Touya.

"I'm not surprised," Touya answered, "If you knew to mark me… the rest would have come with that knowledge, I suppose." He looked up at the heart and tear at Yusuke's neck, fascinated that he could share something so symbolic with his love. He kissed the tiny black heart and tear, in thanks for their presence, which was so sacred to him.

Yusuke smiled, "Wherever the idea came from, I'm glad it came to me. I like you marked. Now everyone will know. No one else can have you but me. You are my most treasured of all. Nothing else matters as you do. My beautiful Toy-chan."

Touya closed his eyes and smiled contentedly, burying his face against Yusuke's chest. He knew some people would be offended or upset by how possessive Yusuke was, but he rather liked the idea of belonging to Yusuke through all things. He was Yusuke's most treasured possession; he knew it and loved it. "Yours. I love being yours, Yusuke. I'll always be yours; I am of no concern to myself, for you always take care of me. And in return, I will care for you and do as you please. I love you, all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, all my body, all my tears."

"You won't have to shed them anymore. If I can save you from shedding another tear, I'll do it. I hate it when you're sad, Toy-chan." Yusuke said, wiping at Touya's face, brushing away tears that weren't there, but were once, and will be.

"No… Sometimes I need to cry, even when I'm not sad. I cry when I think how lucky I am to have met you, when I think of all you've done and do, and I cry when we make love. I never want those tears to stop. I want those tears forever. Those are my crystal tears. The others are only salt tears. Those are the ones you want to stop."

Yusuke nodded. "You're right, as usual. We both have our crystal tears and our salt tears. We'll make a world of crystal tears. Invitation only." Yusuke grinned at this last, to block unwanted visitors. Touya smiled back, contented.


	58. Wealthy

"Did you ask Yusuke to mark you?" Hiei asked, pulling Touya away from the group.

Touya looked indignant. "Of course not; you don't ask it!"

Hiei asked then, "Did you mark him first then?"

Touya's eyes widened slowly. "No. He did it, without even realizing what he was doing at first. But he knew what it meant. Then I marked him."

Hiei looked perplexed, "But Yusuke's no youkai…"

Touya shrugged, "I don't know… neither did he… Maybe there's more to him than meets the eye."

Hiei nodded. He touched a hand lightly to the marking on Touya's neck, pushing back the cloth of the shirt to look at it more closely. At first Touya flinched, but when he realized what Hiei intended, he calmed easily. "Well, I still think you have bad taste, but you're lucky to have someone to care about you. And Yusuke's a good guy in the end, I suppose." Hiei concluded, removing his hand.

Touya grinned. "Yes. I am lucky. He makes up for all the wretchedness of my life before. I lost the tournament, but still won the light. Bless Inari."

Hiei smiled softly, almost jealously, a rare show of a rarer emotion. "The god's have nothing to do with it. Luck, destiny, deity… false hope lay in them. Deny them and trust only what you know. Yusuke's love you can be sure of; your destiny, your luck, your life, your chosen deity, of those you can never be sure. You're the wealthiest person I know, don't spend it rashly." Hiei commented. That said, he walked away and took up a notepad, ready to write. Touya stood and pondered Hiei's words.

"I'd never spend anything rashly. Let alone… Yusuke is a fortune I'll never lose. I'll kill myself before I lose his love." Touya whispered, going to join the others. "I'm glad this tour's almost over. I miss home."


	59. Home at Last

Yusuke poked Touya for possibly the twelfth time in half an hour. "What?" Touya asked, exasperated, and already aware of the answer.

"Hey. We're going to be home soon. Just another half hour!" Yusuke said, grinning excitedly.

Touya sighed. "I know. I can't wait. It'll be nice to be home and sleep in our own bed and everything."

Yusuke nodded, "I can't believe it, but I actually miss Atsuko-san! And, of course, Yukina and Keiko and Kurama and Botan and Koenma." Yusuke ticked them all off on his fingers.

Touya smiled. "Yeah, I miss them too. It'll be great to get home, finally."

"God, Touya, you don't seem very excited." Yusuke commented, frowning and crossing his arms.

Touya sighed. "I just got used to this is all. It'll be kind of weird to finally get home. And you know me; I'm not one for large displays of emotion normally."

Yusuke grinned, "Yeah, you pretty much save it for when we go to bed together."

Touya blushed and smiled. "Well, aren't you glad to be the only one to get to see me being emotional?"

Yusuke laughed, "DUH!" He made a face that illustrated his purpose, and gave Touya a brief hug.

Hiei stepped in the room, "Hey, you two. You have got to come see this." He was grinning, and Touya and Yusuke followed, perplexed.

They started laughing when they looked out the window. Schoolgirl's who had been terrified of Yusuke before held big banners that read, 'Welcome Home, Crystal Tears!' Of course, Kurama, Keiko, Yukina and co. were in front, all looking excited. Touya laughed and asked Yusuke, "Since they're expecting Crystal Tears, should I go put on my veil?"

Yusuke snickered, "Why not! Go for it!" Touya went back and foraged till he found one of his veils, and tied it on briskly. This one happened to be a navy blue, which went quite well with his current outfit; black parachute pants ((I think that's what they're called)), a black long-sleeved, fishnet shirt, a white tee, and a dark blue over shirt.

He stepped back out to the front, grinning under the dark veil. The bus parked, and Hiei exited, followed rapidly by Kuwabara, Yusuke, and finally Touya. Keiko and the others were there immediately, followed by a mass of fans. There was quite a bit of autograph signing. Touya got very unhappy when one girl asked him to sign her boobs. Yusuke stepped in quickly to release Touya's nose from way too much cleavage for one human being. "He's mine!" Yusuke announced, protectively. Touya grinned and took Yusuke's hand. There was much groaning and cooing following this.


	60. Akira

Jin entered Koenma's office bloody and covered in soot. "Koenma-sama. I took care of the rebellious Fire youkai you mentioned, at the borderlands."

Koenma turned and his eyes bulged when he saw Jin's condition. "That's good, now go see a healer! You look absolutely awful! You should have come back for help!"

Jin ducked his head, a nod, "Yes, Koenma-sama," and limped out. As told, he found a healer and let them tend his wounds, but he didn't particularly care. While in there, one of the other messengers of mortality ((like Botan)) began talking to him.

"Hello, Jin. My name is Akira. I'm a messenger. I heard about you, that there was someone new here named Jin, but not much else and I'm curious." Akira grinned in a whimsical manner, scratching one of her tabby cat ears. Jin looked over the neko youkai messenger. She had brown hair, orange and black cat's ears, black paws instead of hands, and a thin, whip-like cat's tail in orange, white, and black. Whiskers adorned tanned and freckled cheeks. Her eyes were a bright playful green, and she wore a black Chinese dress.

Jin gazed at her shyly. "'Ello Akira. I'm a wind master, and I came 'ere fer work. I disgraced mysel' on num'rous occasions. Tha's about all anyone needs'a know." He answered quietly.

Akira was instantly intrigued, and decided to get to know this strange Jin. For now, she wouldn't push it. She began telling him about her life, her thoughts on certain subjects, interests, and the like. Jin listened patiently and silently. When she finished, he excused himself politely and went to his room, no plan in mind, whatsoever.

"Koenma-sama, I'd like to know more about that youkai, Jin. He said he'd disgraced himself several times. What did he do?" Akira asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Koenma looked at Akira carefully. "That's his story to tell, not mine. I'll give you so much as this: he did something to a friend that he regrets infinitely, and he refuses to forgive himself, although he had no control of himself at the time. Don't push him for details, Akira-san. You won't like them, and he won't like to give them. Just leave him alone."

Akira nodded, still planning on finding away to know what happened to Jin. She would have to be careful, but now she was more curious than ever. She walked out of Koenma's office, "Very well, Koenma-sama. Till later."

Koenma watched her shut the door. "She's going to try to find out," Koenma sighed, "Never hire people who are part neko. They're always getting caught in a ball of yarn."


	61. Home Concert

"You know what, you guys wanna play for our fans? Celebrate getting home and all?" Yusuke asked Kuwabara, Hiei, and Touya. Kuwabara answered yes excitedly; Hiei and Touya both nodded assent. "Ok people, give us some space to set up real quick and we'll give you a show!" Yusuke yelled. Cheers followed this, as the fans carried the message to the back and tried to back up.

The four of them unloaded and plugged in their equipment rapidly, setting up Yusuke's drums and the speakers and whatnots. "What are we going to play then?" Hiei asked.

Yusuke grinned, "Were you guys able to learn Touya's new song on the bus this last week?"

Kuwabara gagged, "You wanna play that? I thought it was a joke! I learned it, but I thought you were kidding about the lyrics!"

Touya and Yusuke gave Kuwabara an odd look. "Since when do I bother with simple tricks like that?" Touya asked. Kuwabara shrugged. "So is that what we're playing?"

Kuwabara looked grumpy, so Hiei jumped in, tired of stalling and ready to play, "We play it now, and if it doesn't go over well, you might not ever have to again. Can we just play the song?"

"Fine." Kuwabara growled. As usual, Yusuke counted of for them to start, and they shocked the crowd with Touya's rather explicit lyrics. ((For the lyrics, send me a review with your e-mail address, and I'll try to get it to you, although I can't guarantee, cuz I'm grounded, I can only get on, like, 15 every couple days to check e-mail.))

When the song ended, the crowd cheered, as the four had grown accustomed to, and, just for kicks, Yusuke got up and walked over to Touya, undid the veil and kissed his lover, pulling a hand up to hide Touya's face, as usual. The cheering grew much louder, and there were a few demands for them to enact Touya's song, which made Touya blush violently, as he wrapped his arms around Yusuke's neck.

They pulled away and the veil was tied back in place. "Ok then, show's over, go away people! We came home to be at home!" Yusuke said, grinning. He grabbed Touya's hand, "Come on, my motorcycle's got plenty gas, let's go!" Yusuke got his motorcycle ready and Touya told Kurama they were going to Genkai's temple, and the others should meet them there. They helped put up the last of the equipment, then hopped on Yusuke's motorcycle, no concern for helmets whatsoever. In a moment the were gone, and with a little distance, Touya removed his veil again.


	62. Dare

Touya and Yusuke arrived about 15 minutes ahead of the others, so Touya set water to boil for tea, and Yusuke was a lazy ass, as usual. - Touya lay down own the couch, piling a pillow on Yusuke's lap to rest his head on. He closed his eyes, smiling, glad to be back, as Yusuke massaged the nape of his neck and stroked his hair.

Kurama, Yukina, Hiei, and Kuwabara were next to show up, then a moment behind came Botan, Atsuko and Keiko. Touya reluctantly got up and made room for the others on the couch, and Yusuke pulled him into his lap so he sat turned to the side, leaning against the armrest and back of the couch. "Hey! Long time no see!" Atsuko said, waving at Yusuke and Touya, she came over and hugged them both, and Yusuke was shocked that he didn't smell alcohol on her breath.

"Hey Atsuko-san! I actually missed you! Isn't that great?!" Yusuke said, hugging back with one arm ((the one not already around Touya, you fools!)).

Touya grinned, also hugging Atsuko-san. "I missed you too, Atsuko-san."

Atsuko grinned, "See, I knew you two cared, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep-"

"Atsuko-san, you should stop now, Touya's beginning to blush again." Keiko pointed out, grinning.

Atsuko laughed and finished, "Deep down!" Kurama and the others all laughed too. They all proceeded to catch each other up, mostly same old, same old, all around.

Things got interesting when a lag in conversation made Keiko suggest, "Hey, ya'know what would be fun? A game of truth or dare! Since we haven't seen each other in a while and stuff!"

Kurama, Atsuko, Botan, Touya, Yukina and even Hiei assented with out complaint, Yusuke, and Kuwabara, however, held out. "Are you two afraid to play?" Keiko provoked, grinning maliciously.

"NO!" Both said in unison.

"Then why not?" Keiko asked.

Yusuke sighed and Kuwabara shuffled and they both agreed. "Who's first then?" Yusuke asked.

Keiko shrugged. "How about Botan?" No one had a problem with this, so Botan squealed with delight and turned to Hiei. "Truth or dare, Hiei?"

"Dare."


	63. Eww!

Botan thought for a moment, then grinned and whispered to Yukina. Yukina looked puzzled, and replied, "I suppose so."

Botan turned to Hiei and said, "I dare you to wear one of Yukina's kimonos for the rest of the day. A pink one, or yellow!"

Hiei balked, but would never turn down a challenge. Reluctantly he stood, and Yukina took him to go find a kimono. Botan also went, to choose which one!

About 10 minutes later, they returned, and Hiei was wearing a light pink kimono with a design of light blue flowers at the edges. It looked somewhat like Botan's usual kimono ((which she didn't happen to be wearing at the time)) except the sleeves formed a bell shape, not an 'L'. He seemed even more surly than normal, and chose Kuwabaka, who was laughing the loudest, as his target.

"Truth or dare, baka." Hiei asked.

Kuwabara growled, "Who you calling baka?"

"Answer the question, it's quite simple, truth, or dare?" Hiei replied.

Kuwabara bristled, "Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Yusuke. On the lips. 15 seconds of steady contact."

"What'd I do!? To deserve such a cruel fate!" Yusuke said, looking disgusted.

"Besides Kuwabaka, you were laughing the loudest. Just do it." Hiei said, explaining carelessly.

Touya got up, distinctly not wanting to be caught between Yusuke and Kuwabara, and Yusuke stood, grimacing.

"No way!" Kuwabara said, trying to glare at Yusuke and Hiei at the same time.

Yusuke grimaced, "How do you think I feel? Not only do I have to kiss you, but also I'm taken! It'll be a big change to go from Touya to Kuwabaka! Can't he kiss someone else, Hiei?"

Hiei smirked. "No. I hope Touya doesn't get too jealous."

Kuwabara groaned, and Touya blushed. "Someone get a watch then, I don't want to do this any longer than necessary!" Kuwabara said. "And I'm only doing this because it's against my honor code to turn down a dare when I already accepted to play the game."

"That's a relief," Yusuke quipped.


	64. Meet Again

Botan carried a tray of freshly brewed green tea, fried rice, and dumplings. She knocked on the door, calling out, "Jin? I have some food for you. Open the door please."

Jin opened the door and took the tray, setting it down on one of the few pieces of furniture in the sparse room. "Thank ye', Botan. Anythin' I can do?" he asked, his voice hollow and dead.

Botan couldn't help but pity Jin. To have known him before, so lively and vivacious, and see him now, dejected and depressed, more so with each passing day, was depressing in itself. "No, not at the moment. But I'd been hoping to talk to you. Would you mind if I stayed and talked while you eat?"

Jin shrugged, "Ev'n if I did, it don' ma'er." He moved out of the doorway, taking a seat at the desk he'd placed the food. Botan walked in and sat on the bare futon.

Botan sighed before starting. "We know what happened, with you and Touya that night after the concert." Jin's eyes widened, and he sat up with a jerk. "Just me and Koenma-sama!" Botan added hastily. Jin calmed down slightly. "Anyhow, we wanted to apologize for what happened."

"No need. Ye both warned me ta' leave him alone. I didn' an' see wha' I got." Jin shrugged.

"But… we could have told you… We knew before. About… what you did… but we didn't want to…" Jin jolted again and stood and ran across the room and fell to his knees before Botan.

"Ye' knew? And ye didn'… didn' tell me?" Jin cried, letting tears run down his eyes for the first time in perhaps weeks.

Botan took his hands in hers. "We didn't expect that to happen. If we'd known, we would have told you, we wouldn't have wanted, and still don't want, to break it to you that way. But it's too late now. I came to tell you, though, that now… If you want, we can arrange for you to talk to Touya again, this time let him have a warning, so he doesn't just explode at you again. You could have another chance, a chance where he could listen to you."

Jin slowly shook his head. "No. I swore ta him, swore I wouldn' bother him again. I won' break tha'. Please, don' ev'n let him know I'm here. It'd on'ly pain him. He migh' think… think tha' I came here jus' ta bother him. Don' let any of 'em know I'm here. Not one. I won' in'erfere with 'em and their lives again." Jin said, shaking his head even still.

Botan sighed. "Are you sure?" A nod followed this. "Very well, I'll make sure no one tells them. And Jin? I'm very sorry. So is Koenma. Now get up and eat." Botan said, standing slowly as Jin withdrew. As she was closing the door, she noticed Jin only poked at his food. She shook her head in regret. But who could change the past?


	65. Most Foul Kiss EVER!

Yusuke and Kuwabara glared at each other for about five minutes before Yusuke sighed. "Okay, I can't do this. I'm closing my eyes, and you just kiss me and get it over with, ok Kuwabaka?"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

Yusuke groaned. "No. Let's just get this over with then." Yusuke closed his eyes tight, his fists clenched.

Hiei smirked devilishly, as Kuwabara slowly came forward, obviously not enjoying himself. Finally he put his lips against Yusuke's, but of course, whether or not it was actually a kiss was questionable, since neither was willing to do any of the things that make it a real kiss. Keiko counted off the seconds, calling out "Time," when 15 had passed. Kuwabara then found Yusuke's fist buried in his nose. Then Yusuke ran and grabbed a cup of tea, downing it in a single gulp, not caring that it was steaming hot.

"That was the single most disgusting thing I've EVER had to do!" Yusuke bellowed. Hiei, Keiko, Atsuko and Botan all laughed loudly, and even Kurama and Yukina could be heard to be politely laughing.

Kuwabara scowled. "I second. How can you stand him, Touya?"

Touya grinned. "I suppose I don't have to worry about losing you to him then," he commented to Yusuke. He looked then to Kuwabara answering, "Because he's very good with his tongue when he wants to be. It's getting him to do it that's the trouble. Or rather, getting him to stop. Horny bastard!"

"No fear of losing me, and no shit I am! In fact, I need to cleanse my mouth still, would you do the honors?" Yusuke said, grinning.

Touya laughed, "After your lips touched THAT!? No way in hell!" Kuwabara made indignant sounds.

"We're not in hell." Yusuke grinned mischievously and pounced on Touya, knocking him onto the couch and kissing him. Touya's arms wrapped around Yusuke's neck as he thrust his tongue into Yusuke's rather corrupted mouth.

They pulled away after a moment, and Touya scowled. "Go eat some chocolate or something. I deeply pity you. Second-hand Kuwabara kiss – the second-most foul thing I've come against. Oh, how I pity you." Yusuke ran to get some chocolate, no telling him twice!

Kuwabara scowled, "You guys must all die. I'm waiting till Yusuke gets back, since I can't Truth or Dare Hiei now since he just asked me." A moment later, Yusuke returned, carrying a Hershey's bar, which he seemed absorbed in.

"Truth or Dare, Yusuke?" Kuwabara asked, looking entirely miserable and utterly vengeful.

"Ummm, dare, duh." Yusuke said.

Kuwabara grinned. "You got it, punk."


	66. Silent Truth

"Let's see… oh! I got an idea!-" Kuwabara exclaimed.

"That's a shock." Hiei quipped.

"Shut up, drag queen!"

Hiei growled, "Call me that again, Kuwabaka, and you won't live to see the light of day ever again."

"Hiei! Don't say things like that!" Yukina pleaded, and Hiei quieted.

Kuwabara smiled at Yukina, "Heh, thanks, Yukina." He laughed at Hiei, who was turning red. Kuwabara thought that Hiei liked Yukina, too. Too late, he'd already gotten her! "Anyhow… I dare you not to say anything else for the rest of the night. Get you to shut up for once!"

Yusuke scowled and nodded unhappily. It could be worse… he could be wearing a pink kimono! He grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from the kitchen and came back and pointed at Keiko. It was understood he meant to truth or dare her.

"Ummm, truth." She answered, shrugging.

Yusuke thought a moment then scribbled something on the pad of paper and handed it to Keiko.

'Who here would you most likely whore with. Read this aloud, and give your answer.' Keiko blushed and read it. A moment's silence passed before she looked up at Yusuke. "Still you."

Touya spoke up, "He's with me. Sorry, Keiko." Yusuke grinned and nodded, sitting back over by Touya.

Keiko nodded, "Yeah, I know… As though we could pry you two apart. Anyhow, I pick you, Touya. Truth or dare?"

Touya glanced at drag queen Hiei, kissing Kuwabara, and silent Yusuke and answered, "In order to avoid their sorry states, I pick truth." Yusuke scribbled something on his notepad and showed Touya, who laughed.

"What?" Botan asked.

"He called me a wimp." Touya said, still laughing. Yusuke grinned and nodded enthusiastically. The room let forth a gush of laughter, before Keiko asked her question. "You said second-hand kissing Kuwabara was the second worst thing you'd ever done. So, what was the worst?"


	67. Rather, He Didn't Do

Touya shifted uncomfortably. "It wasn't something I did, so much as, was done to me." Yusuke, Botan, and even Hiei looked concerned. Yusuke scrawled on his pad 'You can turn this one down. You don't have to answer.' Touya sighed and shook his head. "No, I might as well tell them, especially since we have this opportunity." Unconsciously, Touya took Yusuke's hand in his, and Yusuke covered Touya's hand with his other hand.

The seriousness in Touya and Yusuke's manner proved to the others that this, whatever it was, was important. Even Atsuko, three sheets to the wind as it was, quieted and slowed her drinking. "Touya, you want me to tell it? I know basically what happened, if not much detail." Hiei asked, a rare consideration.

Touya shook his head. "I should." Touya was quiet a moment, as though deciding where to start, before he spoke again, "What's worse than kissing Kuwabara? There's probably not much." Kuwabara huffed slightly in disdain. "But I know one thing: being raped by the man you once considered your best, and only, friend." The girls and Kurama gasped softly, as Touya continued.

"It was just after the dark Tournament, and Reisho and Bakken were beating on me. I let them, because Reisho was the leader, and who was I to defy him? They never hurt me too badly anyway." Touya and Yusuke's grasp to one another's hands tightened; Reisho had almost choked him, there was no 'never hurt too badly' about it.

"Jin showed up to stop them, but he was incredibly drunk. He'd been drunk before, but never so much. I suppose he'd just been so upset about losing. He pushed them away and kissed me. But since he was drunk, I didn't want him… I had loved him too, at the time, but he was so drunk. So I tried to shove him away, but it only got him mad. He slapped me… He'd never hurt me before, at all. The slap didn't hurt much, it was just… the fact it happened." Touya's free hand went to the cheek with Jin's hand still marked in red on it. It was as though it was happening all over again, even though it had been so long.

"Reisho and Bakken fled soon after, because Jin's winds started to frenzy around us. Then he… he took me. He left me, smiling and laughing like he always was. All he said after that was… 'That was fun, little one. Have to try that again, huh?' Then he just left me, lying naked in front of that cave Yusuke found me by." Touya's eyes were heated with tears that were trapped, and Yusuke tried his best to console his lover. By that point, Touya had been gently pulled into Yusuke's lap, and Yusuke stroked his hair and face softly.

The girls were crying, and Kurama, Kuwabara, and Hiei seemed deeply intent, and concerned. Keiko spoke, "Touya, I'm so sorry I asked that! I'm so sorry it happened! Gomen Touya!"

Touya shook his head, saying, "I'm not finished."


	68. Retrospection

Jin lay on his futon, his hands over his face, as though it would make everything go away. A child's trick, 'if you can't see me, I can't see you.' Yet nothing would go away. His mind couldn't wander. Before, he'd never been able to concentrate on a single thing for too long. His mind was always moving, and so were his winds. But now, he was caught in the doldrums; his thoughts would not leave Touya, and his winds were entirely still. The air felt stiff; it felt hot and humid. It was cloying, Jin felt like he was suffocating.

But he deserved it. Every single bit, and more. This was nothing to what he should be suffering, in fact. After what he'd done. His best friend! Perhaps the only person he'd ever become real friends with; since he never stayed in one place long enough to know anyone. How could he have so tarnished their friendship, so disrespected and abused his companion? And then to forget it? How dare he forget such grievous sins?

But at least he was trying to atone, right? No, it didn't matter. So much had happened, and without Touya's forgiveness, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered but to suffer, at all times. He refused to let himself move on; refused to give himself any bit of slack. A minute without Touya was a minute more than he could stand, but eternities less than he deserved. And he kept this thought always at the forefront of his mind – every hardship was to what he deserved as an atom compared to the three worlds. Not even worthy of being a fraction of what was.

Of course, he desperately wanted Touya's forgiveness. But he didn't expect to get it, and he didn't want to come near Touya again. Rather, he would love to be with Touya again, back before any of this had happened, before the Dark Tournament, when they were together amongst the Shinobi. But that would be no good, for Touya was never really happy then, either, for he had no light. And that was what mattered now. Touya was happy with Yusuke. Touya was happy… without him. Not only happy without him, but happy because he was without him. So Jin wouldn't dare approach Touya, for the sake of his love's happiness. He needed to be with Touya, wanted, yearned… but he wanted more for Touya's happiness, than forgiveness, so he wouldn't.

Koenma-sama and Botan had finally dropped it. Botan had been the one it was hardest to convince. Jin felt guilty that she should show concern for him. They shouldn't worry about him; shouldn't be trying, offering to go out of their way, just to help him. They should hate him. He wished they would hate him, so he could suffer more, but he was glad they cared. And he hated himself for finding any reason to be just a little less depressed.

He hated himself fiercely. He loathed and abhorred and disgusted himself. He had no idea how they could stand to be around him; he was such a vile, unworthy cretin. He despised and revolted himself, scorned and cursed himself. He wished the gods would never have seen fit to bring him the wind of life, for at least then he never would have hurt Touya.

That was all that stood for any importance to him. He hurt Touya. Touya had laid all his trust and friendship, and maybe even love into him (he said he had, didn't he? He couldn't have, he couldn't have loved Jin! What could possibly be attractive in him that was less than scum?), and Jin had ruined it, all because he got drunk. No, because he was just wretched, he wouldn't blame the drink for it. He never would drink again, but just because he was drunk didn't change what happened. It wouldn't make him any less guilty.

Touya didn't believe him… Touya had always believed him before. Touya had never accused him of lying, nor had Touya ever suggested he wouldn't keep an oath, once made. He said he wouldn't drink. Touya said he would. And Jin was caught at a cross roads. He wouldn't break an oath, and to drink would give him relief, which he refused. But to uphold his oath would be to prove Touya wrong… and Touya was always right. He didn't want to prove Touya wrong. Touya didn't believe him. Touya didn't forgive him. Touya didn't even want to scar him, take revenge. Touya didn't want to acknowledge him.

How could he ever atone if Touya wouldn't acknowledge him? How does the person who's not there atone for sins they committed when they were? How could he make amends if Touya wouldn't take revenge? But he couldn't drag Touya down to such a level. Touya was always better than that, better than revenge or compensation. He would never lower himself.

Jin took his hands from his face and sat up slowly. He had a few sticks of incense and a couple candles. He'd been routinely lighting a stick of incense and a candle in Touya's honor, praying that he would be happy forever with Yusuke. He prayed that even when they died, he could keep his oath and leave Touya alone. He did, every night, pray for Touya to be happy, and every time, he shed a tear, knowing it implied his absence from Touya's presence. Whatever it took. Gods all bless. Gods all keep Touya safe. Gods all keep Touya safe… from him…


	69. What Would I Do?

Everyone but Hiei, Botan and Yusuke looked up at him in surprise. "While we we're touring, on our October 21 concert, he showed up again. He had come to apologize to me, but he didn't even know. That drunken bastard!" Touya half-yelled. "He didn't even remember what he did to me! All he knew was he'd beaten me! So goddamned drunk, he didn't even remember! How do you forget doing that to someone? He and Gama were the only ones I'd trusted, and with Gama dead, he was the only one I thought I could turn to… But he swore he wouldn't come back again, and he's always kept his word, at least, he did before." Touya finally broke down; glad Yusuke had thought to pull him into his lap. He needed that warmth and security.

Keiko and Yukina came over to offer comfort, and Botan and Kurama stood close behind, ready if needed. "Gods Touya… I guess if that's what comes to mind when you think of something worse than kissing me, I must not be so bad after all." Kuwabara said.

Touya looked up and laughed softly, slowly smiling. "Thanks, Kuwabara. You're right. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Not that I'm trying any time soon. Yusuke's much sweeter, from what I could tell." Yusuke smiled at Touya and scrawled on his notepad. 'Especially since I had that Hershey's bar.' Touya's smile grew slightly wider, and he kissed Yusuke softly. "Thanks. You're right. You taste like chocolate." Yusuke smiled and nodded, and the others all grinned.

"You're okay now, then, Touya?" Atsuko-san asked, popping up from the corner where she'd been going through bottles of sake.

Touya smiled at her faintly. "Yes, I think so. I've got plenty of friends now and Yusuke. I'm able to forget about him most the time. And it doesn't hurt as much to think about it now. He's dead to me." Botan shifted uncomfortably-Jin may be in Reikai, but he wasn't dead! And she couldn't help but feel sorry for Jin as well as Touya, knowing how genuinely Jin wanted to atone for what he'd done. They'd both been through so much.

"Good. Means you wont need to drink, at least not much, to get rid of him. More for me!" Atsuko laughed, holding up another bottle of sake and taking a sip.

'My wonderful mother' Yusuke wrote on the notepad. Touya laughed, "What would I do without you all?"


	70. More Kissing

'Well, you'd be screwed, I guess.' Yusuke scrawled on the notepad. Touya laughed. "No, that's what happens with you. I'm glad I told you all. Thanks, Keiko. No more secrets."

Keiko nodded. "I'm still sorry, though. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Touya shook his head. "No, it's in the past now. But if you see him, give me a warning so I can kick his ass. Bastard. Let's just move on. My turn then!" Touya turned to Yukina. "Truth or dare, ice-sister."

Yukina giggled, she had always thought that of their group, she most related to Touya, and they often called each other ice-brother or ice-sister. For some reason, this always seemed to make Hiei slightly angry. "Truth, ice-brother."

Touya smiled and thought a moment. "All right, ice-sister. Everyone knows Kuwabara likes you. Do you like him?"

Yukina blushed. "Well, not the way you're intending." She turned to Kuwabara, "But you're very sweet though." Kuwabara began sulking. "Gomen."

The game continued for a while with no further major developments until Atsuko-san picked Touya to truth or dare.

"I guess I'll pick dare this time." Touya said, shrugging.

Atsuko-san giggled. "Well, since Yusuke and Kuwabara had to kiss, let's not leave Touya and Hiei out of it. Get the whole band together! And then Yusuke won't have to feel guilty. I dare you to kiss Hiei, Touya. Same set of rules as before, except you have to French him! 15 seconds, steady contact, and somewhere in there, your tongue needs to be in his mouth! Kawaii! Two short bishies together!" You would think Atsuko-san was a schoolgirl, not an adult and mother.

"I have to let him put his tongue in my mouth?" Hiei asked, looking paler than usual.

"HEY! I'm the only one who gets to have Touya's tongue in my mouth!" Yusuke shouted, wrapping his hands around Touya's waist.

Atsuko-san giggled. "Nope, Touya's gotta do it, it's truth or dare! And Hiei has to let him!" Touya looked at Hiei uncomfortably.

"Well? Are you willing to let me?" Touya asked. He looked like he would be plenty happy if Hiei said no.

Hiei sighed. "Whatever. At least you're not Kuwabaka." Yusuke growled and began scribbling strings of expletives on his notepad and Kuwabara growled. "Shut up, shortie."

Hiei and Touya rose and stood next to each other. Hiei closed his eyes and waited, as Touya leaned forward and let his lips fall softly on Hiei's. Hiei let his mouth open and Touya let his tongue into Hiei's mouth. As before, Keiko called out "Time," at 15 seconds and they drew away, and Hiei looked impressed. "So much talent wasted on Yusuke." Touya blushed deeply.

"Where do you think I learned it?" Touya commented.

Hiei laughed. "I don't even want to think of that."

Yusuke scrawled on the notepad and showed it to Touya and Hiei. 'Don't let him fool you-he was always a natural -'

Touya blushed, "Thanks, I guess?"

Hiei grinned. "If you guys happen to break up, I got dibs."

Yusuke shook his head furiously and put his arms around Touya protectively. He pointed at their markings, scowling at Hiei in a manner that clearly meant 'Mine'. "It's not like I figure it will ever happen." Hiei said, shrugging. Kuwabara was shocked and scooted away from Hiei. The girls were torn between 'Kawaii' and 'scandalous'.


	71. KitsuneSama's Chapter!

Touya glanced uneasily at Kurama and Yusuke, who were filling out the sheets for their courses for the upcoming year. Kurama had deemed that Touya had sufficiently caught up, and should begin taking classes at their high school, although he would be in the lowest classes ((as, of course, Yusuke)). However, Touya was still anxious, and the fact that psycho preppie stalker girls followed Yusuke and him around all the time didn't help. Sometimes they genuinely scared him. At least he wouldn't have to wear the veil to school.

Yusuke grinned, glancing at Touya from the corner of his eyes. "Don't worry, Toy-chan. You'll do fine. Besides, we've always got Kurama to tutor us if we need! But you always catch on quick; you'll be the teacher's pride! Whereas, I shall be their bane! Yay! We're like Yin and Yang!"

Touya smiled. "If you say so, Yusuke."

Kurama chuckled lightly. "If you have any problems, feel free to come to me, but as Yusuke already stated, you do tend to catch on quick, and I'm sure you won't have a problem in any of your courses. And out of curiosity, have you decided what electives you're taking?"

Touya shrugged. "I'm taking an art class, the others I haven't decided."

Yusuke grinned maniacally. "We should join the band. I bet they'd be honored."

Touya and Kurama laughed. "Perhaps, but it's quite a different setup Yusuke. No guitars, and the percussion is very different." Kurama pointed out.

Yusuke shrugged. "Yeah, I know, but it would be kinda cool to see another perspective. But I don't think I'll do that. Maybe drumline!" More laughter followed this.

Once they finished signing up, Yusuke offered to show Touya around the school. This was amusing, since Yusuke was so rarely at school that people were surprised he could still find his way around.

"It looks kinda big, but it's easy to find everything, really. They kept all the different subject areas together pretty well and stuff so… yup, it's not too bad." Yusuke nodded enthusiastically and Touya laughed softly.

"Eloquent as always. It's a good thing Hiei and I are the chief songwriters, otherwise, Crystal Tears would have never gotten off the ground!" Touya joked.

"Oh! You're the drummer from Crystal Tears! And you? Are you the lead singer? Without your veil?" The girl was smiling wide and seemed very excited.

She had thin, fox-like eyes and short brown hair. Her face was rather round ((as oppose to oval, or heart-shaped, etc.)) and her nose was rather small and pointed.

Touya shrugged and nodded, as did Yusuke. "I knew it! Then you are Yusuke, and you are Touya, right? My name is Mitsune, but my friends all nicknamed me Kitsune-sama. I love the CD you guys put out!" The girl produced the CD from her purse, waving the jewel case proudly. Indeed, she was reminiscent of a Kitsune; even more so than Kurama, as long as he wasn't in Yoko form. "You really are cute! You had everyone wondering, since you never show your pretty face!" said the girl, Mitsune, a.k.a. Kitsune-sama.

Touya blushed. "Just shy."

Kitsune-sama grinned. "You two look so sweet together. I'm jealous. I don't suppose I could join you two one night, since I wouldn't want to break ya'll up!"

Yusuke laughed. "Sorry. He's mine alone! Sharing was never something I was good at!"

Touya blushed even more. "I can back you up on that."

Kitsune-sama laughed. "Oh well, it was worth trying! What about the other guitarist, not bass, but the other six-string, Hiei, right? Is he with anyone?"

Yusuke and Touya laughed, "No way, he's too surly!" Yusuke said, grinning.

A/N: I love Kitsune-sama; she always reviews virtually every single chap. She praises me yay, praise! and reminds me of all the goodness in each one. And, she helps gives me ideas and has fun ramblings which I enjoy reading! Yay! Therefore, This chapter is for her. Just something I decided on, not asked. You ppl, thinking she asked me to put her in, insinuating she might be so rude as to ask without me leaving an invitation for people to join.


	72. Please, Touya

"Botan… he's happy, right?" Jin asked quietly, staring at his hands, which were cupped in his lap.

"Yes… he his. He and Yusuke really love each other. Yusuke won't let anything happen to him." Botan answered, almost as softly. She let a reassuring hand rest on Jin's shoulder.

Jin nodded. "I thought so. I'm… I'm glad… I'm glad he has Yusuke." Jin felt tears stinging his eyes; sobs that wouldn't yet be allowed to break punctuated his words. "Better'n me. Botan?"

Botan looked as Jin glanced up to catch her eye briefly, as quickly bowing his head again. "Yes?"

"What can I do… ta' get their CD? Ta' pay off fer it, I mean." Jin asked, hesitantly.

Botan sighed, despondent for Jin. "I'll get you a copy for free, Jin. And a CD player, too." Botan knew better by now than to say she was sorry for what happened. Jin didn't want pity. He didn't believe he deserved it.

"Thanks, Botan. Yer too kind. All ye are." Jin said, sighing.

"Here, I can get them both for you right now, if you want?" Botan said. She could give him her copy; she could get another later. Same for the CD player.

"Could ye?" Jin asked, looking up. Botan nodded and got up, returning moment's later with a CD player and headphones in hand. The CD was already in the player. She showed Jin how to work the CD player, and left, as he put on the headphones to drown in misery, listening to Touya's voice singing.

Singing his hate for him, his love for Yusuke, his happiness with his new life and discontent at his old one. And the cover art was almost the same as what Hanaka had shown him so long ago. But Yusuke had insisted it be redone. Everything was the same… except the black marks on Yusuke and Touya's necks. Just another confirmation. Tears flamed at Jin's face, looking at the latest proof that Touya would never be his. He had stopped crying. The tears were back. He put the picture over small table where he kept his incense and candles, using his wind to keep it in place.

"Damn it, Touya! What'm I s'posed ta do? If ye were here with me, ye could say; ye were always right; ye'd know what I could do. But yer not here, and ye won' be. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! What do I do, Touya? What do I do…?" He begged the picture. But Yusuke only smiled at him, as though mocking, and Touya only stared on, not acknowledging him even. Jin fell to his knees in front of his 'shrine', wishing he had never existed. "Oh Touya, what am I s'posed ta do? I'm nothin' without ye. I don' r'member how I ever lived without ye…what am I s'posed ta do? Won' ye tell me? Can't ye write it into one o' yer songs what I should do? Please, tell me what ta do, Touya…Please…?" He fell, silent, to tears.


	73. TsumiChan And Rea Neko, Too!

Kitsune-sama laughed with Touya and Yusuke. "A girl can dream!"

"What are you dreaming about, Kitsune-sama? OH MY GOD!" Another two girls ran up next to Kitsune-sama and fell totheir knees in front of Yusuke and Touya. "Why dream; Yusuke and Touya! Right here!" The first girl looked up and poked Yusuke's leg. "He's real!!!! It's not just my imagination again! Holy Shit! I love Crystal Tears; you guys are awesome! When's your next album coming out?!" The girl appeared to be hyperventilating.

Touya and Yusuke looked in bewilderment. "We just let out our first album…" Yusuke muttered.

Kitsune-sama laughed. "This is my friend, we call her Tsumi-chan. Don't ask what her real name is, we're not sure she even knows; she changes it so often. But we always call her Tsumi-chan!" She explained, patting Tsumi-chan on the head.

The second girl stared in awe at Touya and Yusuke, twitching now and then. She wore clip on cat ears and tight black clothes. Her make-up somehow made her look cat-like, but she had not drawn whiskers or anything silly like that on. Kitsune-sama pointed to her. "That's Rea Neko. She's fluffy and obessive like the rest of us!" Rea reached out slowly and gave Touya's pants a gentle tug. After a second she gave a huge grin and rubbed against his leg, purring.

Touya flinched, trying to decide how to gracefully get away from Rea Neko... "Interesting…" Touya commented, looking perplexed.

Yusuke also looked confused, and finally growled, "Okay, Tsumi-chan, Rea? Would you stop kneeling, it's awkward!" Touya nodded while Kitsune-sama laughed.

Tsumi-chan hopped up, smiling like a madwoman. "Sure Yusuke, anything you want!"

Rea stood reluctantly, scowling softly. "But unworthy ones as us should show reverence in the presence of Gods..." she murmured, which made Touya and Yusuke give her profoundly odd looks.

Yusuke scowled. "As I just explained to Kitsune-sama, I'm taken." Yusuke snatched up Touya and held him close, laying a kiss on Touya's neck to prove his point. Touya sighed softly, unable to stifle his reaction to the gentle sensation. He blushed vibrantly as Yusuke didn't seem ready to let him go, and his hands were wandering over Touya's stomach lightly.

"Yusuke… stop, please," Touya beseeched softly, taking Yusuke's hands in his own, while Tsumi-chan, ReaNekoand Kitsune-sama watched a little too avidly.

Yusuke grinned. "Fine. I forgot – you're shy! It's part of your charm, y'know."

Tsumi-chan broke into a big grin. "Kawaii! We wouldn't want to come between you two, hehe, or would we?" she joked. Rea purred, and Kitsune-sama clapped, and the trio all grinned ecstatically.

"No sharing! Mine!" Yusuke laughed, giving Touya one last squeeze before letting his much shyer lover go. Touya's blush deepened slightly, as he smiled softly. He did enjoy being Yusuke's… he couldn't help that he was still shy!

Tsumi-chan looked at Touya curiously. "Hey, me and Kitsune-sama noticed a lot of your lyrics are really violent and you almost always to refer to getting raped and there's some guy you hate 'cause of what he did. Did someone really… do that to you?"

Touya looked incredibly uncomfortable, and Yusuke jumped to the rescue, "Hey, that's kind of a personal question!"

Tsumi-chan looked hurt. "Sorry…. It's just, since he sings about it so much…"

"I do. He was… really drunk, that night," Touya said, staring at the ground. Yusuke took Touya's hand, understanding Touya would need him. He knew Touya didn't think about it often, but, when he did, it still hurt.

Tsumi-chan, Rea Nekoand Kitsune-sama exchanged worried glances. "We're so sorry, Touya. We won't mention it again, and we won't say anything to anyone else," Kitsune-sama said, in unison with Tsumi-chan. Rea purred sympathetically, taking Touya's hand gently in her wn furred ones - furred?! Touya looked down in surprise and realized Rea was wearing furred gloves. He sighed in relief. It wasn't the sight of a hanyou so much as a hanyou in the Ningenkai. It was reassuring to see it was a human wanna-be.

Touya shook his head. "It's all right. I'm over him. He was never anymore than a drunken fool, why he ever mattered to me, I'll never quite guess. Yusuke's with me now, and nothing before matters. I wrote in the songs about it, so I had to expect a few questions."

Tsumi-chan, Reaand Kitsune-sama nodded. Yusuke checked his watch. "Jesus Christ, Atsuko-san wanted me home by now! Come on, Touya, we got to go! Umm, it was… nice meeting you two, bye!" Yusuke said, looking uncertainly at Tsumi-chan, Reaand Kitsune-sama. Yusuke dragged Touya off, running to his motorcycle. Kurama laughed as he saw them through the window, riding off at breakneck speed.

A/N- Tsumi-chan is my other buddy, she's a sweetheart and we have lots of fun convos! And, for the record, Tsumi-chan and Kitsune-sama are the only people I'm throwing in the story, and this is probably the last time they'll be seen, if not, they'll never being doing as much as now. Maybe they'll get noticed at a concert or something… so, yup. No reviews asking to get in Shtrd blzrd!

A/N 2: After I changed accounts, I haven't been able to get in contact with Kit-sama or Tsumi. I shall trace them down soon, I don't think they ever found out about my new account ((It's not like I wanted to change, y'know!)) But, I decided to add Rea Neko because She is sort of my new faithful, totally devoted fan!

Finally, the personalities displayed here are not really reflective of the people mentioned - Tsumi-chan and Kitsune-sama could effectively switched and then be correct, As for Rea, well, She's not that creepy-like! Hehe, she's really sweet and very flattereing! She expands my huge ego!


	74. Thanks

Touya sat up suddenly, panting and shivering. His eyes snapped wide open as he sat up, but then, as he hunched over, holding himself for warmth, he closed them. "Damn. I'm so cold! Damn dream again!"

Yusuke yawned, getting up, having felt his koibito jolt awake. He sat up. "What's wrong, Toy-chan?"

"Sorry, Yusuke. Did I wake you?" Touya said, looking at Yusuke.

"No problem. You have that nightmare again?" Yusuke asked, wrapping an arm around Touya's shoulders.

"I imagine so." Touya still shook, but he was comforted by Yusuke's presence, and his shivering slowed. Lately, he'd been waking from a nightmare he couldn't remember in a cold panic.

"Yusuke… Why am I so cold?" Touya pleaded vaguely.

"Well, you're an ice demon, aren't you, Touya?"

Touya nodded.

"Well, there you go." Yusuke shrugged.

Touya looked at Yusuke desperately. "Could it be so simple, so fixed? Is there no way I can change it?"

Yusuke shrugged, yawning again. "Maybe. You'll have to ask me again when I'm more awake." Yusuke grinned sheepishly, while Touya sighed.

"You are a moron, Yusuke."

"Yeah, but I'm your moron. So as far as I'm concerned, the ownership makes up for it." Yusuke took one of Touya's hands in his.

Touya looked at Yusuke in surprise. Always, Touya had been Yusuke's. Not the other way around. "Feel better, Toy-chan?" Yusuke asked, looking at Touya sleepily.

"Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Yusuke." Touya nodded.

Yusuke grinned. "Good. Well, I better give you a good night kiss, so we can get some sleep for the morning." Touya smiled softly, as Yusuke turned his face to his and they brushed lips sleepily. They lay down and Yusuke pulled the covers up warmly around Touya, and wrapped his arms comfortingly over his small love. "Night, Toy-chan."

"Night, Yusuke. Thanks."


	75. Good Morning is an Oxymoron

Touya crept cautiously loose of Yusuke's dreaming embrace. This time, he wouldn't wake Yusuke. He had some things he needed to sort out, and he wanted to make some breakfast for Yusuke since it was morning anyhow.

Touya chuckled softly to himself. How quickly had he learned to deem seven to eight o'clock as morning! Long gone were the days he rose with the dawn, and now, it would be hard to get him to do so again without complaint. At first, he'd complained to Yusuke about feeling as though he were sleeping away the day, but Yusuke's reassurance that nothing went on that early was proven true, and Touya had learned to 'sleep in'.

Touya tiptoed from the room, shutting the door with easy grace, still used to moving stealthily silent. That was a habit he refused to break.

He went into the kitchen, deciding to cook while he thought, something he was now skilled enough to do. ((-)) He began getting out the necessary ingredients, and pulled out the griddle he'd been shown to use for pancakes, and turned it on.

While he mixed, he wondered about what Yusuke had said last night, in a sleepy stupor. Was it only backwards dream logic? Or did Yusuke really feel that way? In hindsight, it probably didn't matter, but still, it made Touya wonder.

He shrugged, deciding it wasn't important, and went on, trying to remember what nightmare was waking him these nights. He remembered cold… and wind. It made him think of the nightmare he'd had about Jin, long ago, when he first came to live with Yusuke. That was it! He'd been having that nightmare, except… there was more to it, Touya realized. In a way, one could say it had been 'updated' to include recent events…

Touya was running on thin ice-literally. Each step left fine cracks which quickly shattered into tiny ice shards showing the dark water beneath the ice- a clearly traceable path. He was panting, moving as fast as he could, not only to avoid falling through the ice, but also because something –someone?- was chasing him. Touya wasn't sure what or who, but he did know he didn't want them to catch him. A strong wind blew over him, causing his path to waver, blowing snow into his eyes, causing him to close them and wince. A blizzard then. Touya kept running, unaware that he was slowly being turned back by the wind, unable to see his former path through the snow.

A laugh sounded, one Touya couldn't hear in the winds howling, but he could feel. It shook him, and he shivered, thinking Quite a thing, to make an ice master shiver He grew tired yet, but unwilling to surrender, when a creature overtook him, picking him up and carrying through the wind. Touya watched, helpless as the ground receded. The creature placed him on a high plateau, where Touya recognized the beast to be Jin. "Jin, Help me!" he said, and Jin smiled, and pushed him off the plateau. Touya's face reflected surprise and disbelief as he fell, pieces of him seeming to crack like the ice that was his element, the storm, stopping, no wind to slow his descent, no snow to soften his landing. The blizzard, shattered.

He fell, reaching out, desperately, hoping someone would hold him up. Yusuke was suddenly there, grabbing on and holding tight. Yusuke pulled him out of the fall, embracing him tightly. Kuwabara, Hiei, Yukina, Kurama, Keiko, Atsuko, Botan, Koenma… All of them stood there, his new family, keeping him warm and safe. But then, he, Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara had to leave the others. And then he and Yusuke went off exploring, having noticed something – something dangerous – that they could not let get the others.

And something dangerous was Jin, back again, and while Jin, in and of himself, wasn't so bad, scared and desperate and alone, all the memories were unlocked and the emotions flooded to the surface once again. Touya fell, clutching his head and crying, as the blackness of his days before Yusuke found him came back, threatening to swallow him. It was then he would wake, shivering and nearly hysterical. The blizzard once again consumed him, Jin's frenetic winds wrapping him coldly, wrapping him and taking him, all over again. Dead, the blizzard returned, only to shatter before his eyes once again.

Touya turned off the griddle, flipped the last few pancakes off, and sat down. He put his head in his hands, and let tears slowly drop from his eyes, till they came faster, and shuddered through him, and struck him like a lightning bolt. Gods all take it, would he never really be free?!


	76. Akira Listens

Akira knocked on Jin's door. Jin dropped the wind holding up Touya's picture on the wall, before listlessly saying, "Come in…"

"Jin, you remember me? It's Akira." She said, not giving him time to answer. She carried a tray of food into the room, setting it down on Jin's desk, and looking curiously at the candles and incense. "Are you religious? I never see you at the shrines."

Jin shook his head. "What's the point of bein' religious if the only one who can fergiv' ye refuses?"

Akira looked at Jin inquisitively. "So what are the candles and incense for?"

Jin scowled at Akira. "Take a wild guess. I don' know what yer intentions are, but whether they're good or bad, I suggest ye leave well enough alone! I've told enough people, I don' feel like tellin' anymore what happened!"

Akira looked at Jin in surprise. "You're right. It's my damn cat side again. Always having to get into everything, that's me!" Akira smiled at Jin sheepishly. "I'm sorry!" ((Anime sweat drop!))

Jin sighed. "If ye meant well, then I'm sorry fer havin' snapped at ye. It's just hard…I'd done some pretty stupid stuff in my life, but I'd always been able ta' skate by on a miracle. One day, a miracle didn't come, and I've regretted it since, ye know?" Jin shook his head, as though to clear it of his memories. "I just wish… I dunno…"

"To forget?" Akira asked shyly.

Jin's eyebrows snapped together. "Gods, no! I already did tha'! It t'was a hard fight ta' win back those damn mem'ries; I won't disgrace them or him by forgetting again! I won't do him tha' dishonor again!"

Akira's eyes widened. She couldn't get it. Every time she put her finger down, Jin would say something else. "Then… what?"

"I… I'm not sure… maybe, another chance? I don' deserve it but… I'd like one more chance, I guess. Or… I'd like to undo the whole thing, so I could be back there, with him still…. Just make it so it never happened." Jin shook his head. "But what's the use of wishin'. Just wastin' yer time, mine, and whatever deity's bored enough ta' listen ta me."

Akira shook her head. "No… not wasting. If you ever want to talk… I'd like to listen, in fact. You don't even have to tell me, just… talk. Or even if you don't want to talk, and you just want someone there with you. Let me know, I'd be glad to help."

Jin nodded. "I'm surrounded by so many good people. It's a bloody shame I can't thank you all enough. Shame, I'm constantly pining for the one I can't have. But fer what it counts, Thanks, Akira."


	77. Mother Comfort

Atsuko-san stumbled from her room, smelling pancakes. She also heard something muffled, and far off sounding, yet so strong and vivid. Like… a glacier breaking loose, or even breaking, shattering.

Touya glanced up, hearing faltering footsteps. He wiped the tear frost from his cheeks. "Atsuko…" For once, he didn't bother to hide his misery, and Atsuko looked at him worriedly.

"Touya…? Are you okay?" Atsuko asked, sitting down next to him.

"…" Touya looked off to the side, shyly, before glancing back at Atsuko. "I know what the nightmare is about."

Atsuko-san frowned, thought a moment, and suddenly remembered Yusuke mentioning to her that Touya had been waking from a nightmare frequently recently. "Oh. Do you want to tell me? Or would it be easier not to?"

Touya shrugged.

Atsuko sighed. "Oh, you poor thing!" She hugged Touya warmly, and Touya was surprised to find he liked it.

"Thanks, Atsuko." Touya hugged back, feeling, for once, that Atsuko was a good mother. At least, she could be if she tried.

"C'mon, why don't you go get some more sleep, I'll wake you and Yusuke up later. You'll feel better if you can get a decent rest before you have to go out and face the world. At least, that's how hangovers work…" Atsuko trailed off, and Touya snorted. There was the Atsuko-san he knew!

"Thanks! You really could be a good mother, if you tried harder." Touya laughed softly.

Atsuko-san looked at Touya carefully. "I'll take that as a compliment, and not as a stab at my mothering skills, since you seem to mean it in a good way."

Too late, Touya realized his blunder. "Umm, sorry, Atsuko-san, I didn't mean… That is, I wasn't trying to imply anything!"

Atsuko nodded. "All is forgiven." Suddenly, Atsuko laughed softly. "I was just surprised to hear it from you. That's more like something Yusuke would say! I always thought you were better about being PC!"

Touya looked at Atsuko oddly, this time. "What's PC mean?"

"Politically correct…"

"oh…"

"Touya, you better stop being my son's lover, I think he's rubbing off on you!" Atsuko laughed again, hugging Touya again, before shooing him off to get some more sleep. While he left, she settled down to eat his pancakes! ((Shame, Atsuko-san! More like Atsuko-_chan_!))


	78. Remember the Nightmare

Yusuke woke slowly to see that… He and Touya had changed sides? How had he missed THAT even in his sleep? Oh well. He just hoped he hadn't actually crawled over Touya to do so. He got up silently, deciding not to wake Touya till he'd cooked something for breakfast. Touya probably needed his rest, anyhow.

Yusuke was exceedingly surprised, therefore, to find Atsuko-san in the kitchen, eating pancakes. Since when could Atsuko make pancakes?! That was something he'd taught Touya! "Morning, Atsuko."

Atsuko looked up at Yusuke. "Morning, Yusuke. Touya asleep again I take it?"

"Again?!" Yusuke asked, confused.

Atsuko laughed. "I guess that's yes. He was up earlier, made pancakes, had something of a breakdown. I came in, saw him, calmed him down, and told him to get some rest. He went back, and I ate some of the pancakes he'd made. They were good too!"

Yusuke looked at Atsuko in something of a daze. It made sense, but then, Atsuko could have hallucinated… she was known to do so. Still, if she was drunk, she could not have made pancakes; she couldn't even make them sober.

Yusuke sighed. "You people shouldn't pull shit like this on me. You really shouldn't."

Atsuko giggled. "Why not? It's SO fun!" Atsuko began putting some of Touya's pancakes on a separate plate for Yusuke. "Here, go ahead and eat. Shall I go wake Touya, or will we let him sleep a little longer?" She asked.

Yusuke frowned and thought a moment, before his expression cleared and he replied, "Let him sleep."

Atsuko nodded, then grinned. "It seems the question was moot," she said as Touya entered the kitchen sleepily.

"Mornin'," Touya yawned, looking at Atsuko and Yusuke lethargically.

Yusuke grinned. "Feel better, Touya?" he asked. Touya nodded, smiling softly.

"Yeah. Atsuko gives good hugs." Yusuke looked at Atsuko, slightly confused.

Atsuko just grinned. "Glad to be of service, Touya."

"Yusuke, I remembered the dream."

"You did?!"


	79. As Long as You Need

Touya began explaining how he'd realized it was the same nightmare he'd had the first night he'd stayed with Yusuke, and the additions to it. Atsuko and Yusuke listened patiently to the end.

"Touya… you'll never have to go back to that, you know. I won't let you fall like that." Yusuke said softly.

Touya nodded. "I know. I hope that now I know what the dream is that it will go away. It's just that… however far I push him away, he still haunts me. I'm happy, here with you, but still my thoughts dwell… WHY CAN'T I STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM?!" Touya spoke softly, and his voice rose in abrupt crescendo, till he yelled the last sentence.

Yusuke looked at Touya worriedly, as did Atsuko. "Touya… are you all right? What can I do to help you?" Yusuke asked.

Touya sighed. "Not really. I don't think there's anything you can do, Yusuke… just… be there, ok?"

Yusuke nodded. "Till the ends' of the worlds."

Touya smiled meekly. "You're worrying if this will affect the plans for us to go on tour again, aren't you?"

Yusuke grinned. "Not as much as I was worried about you, but yeah, I was."

Touya smiled a bit more. "Don't worry. I'll get things under control. I just need a little longer to sort things out."

"Take as long as you need."


	80. Duality of Victimization

"Oh, Jin, lighten up! Koenma came up with an idea that might cheer you up! Reisho and Bakken having been causing trouble by trying to get new members for their sect – they're threatening a lot of demons to get what they want. We figured we could send you out to get them. Maybe beating them up will make you feel better, since you know they hurt him a lot. And if nothing else, we also happen to know you never liked them much in the first place." Botan smiled, trying to be cheerful, but Jin was so sullen since the Dark Tournament closed and Touya had left him, that it was hard to attain even a semblance of cheer. Still, Botan hoped a smile would be infectious – Jin was so starved for happiness.

Jin nodded. "Sure. Where do I look?" he asked, listless as usual.

Botan sweat dropped. "We've pinpointed them to a cave in the Tynan Mountain Range in Lord Yomi's territory, in the Makai. It's not far from the cave they'd used before when you and Gama were in their sect."

Jin nodded again. "All right." He rose from his futon and left the barren room. Botan left, heading the opposite direction.

When she was far enough away she thought Jin wouldn't hear her, she sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I wish there was something I could do. If we could just get Touya to listen and just acknowledge Jin's apology… I know Jin doesn't dare hope to be forgiven, but if Touya could just acknowledge him… maybe he could cheer up a bit."

Far down the hall, Jin manipulated the air to catch Botan's words. He saw no point to them. He appreciated the kindness in them, but there was no point in such endeavors. He would rather just leave Touya alone. What if Touya should get angry again? Jin didn't want to complicate Touya's life any further. "Botan… thanks… but don't bother him… please." He sent these whispered words on a light breeze to Botan's ears.

Botan jumped and turned, expecting to see Jin right behind her. But he was long gone. She sighed again. "Oh, Jin. What does one do when both parties are the victim of the other?"


	81. Maiden's Tears Tour

"Touya, come on, let's go," Hiei called, as he glanced out the tour bus to see Touya saying his final farewells.

Touya nodded and joined Hiei, Kuwabara, Kurama and Yusuke. "Right," he said simply.

"You ready, Touya?" Yusuke asked, remembering how Touya had only recently resolved his latest nightmare.

Touya nodded. "Yeah. Let's go." The bus took off.

Yusuke pulled Touya into his lap, holding him quietly. "We're off again." He whispered.

Hiei glanced at Touya and Yusuke and smiled softly, as he turned his attention back to Kurama, who beckoned him over. "I'm glad you're coming this time, Kurama."

Kurama smiled softly. "And I'm glad you invited me." Kurama tugged Hiei into his lap, and Hiei complied as shyly as Touya used to at Yusuke's bidding.

Kuwabara shook his head and muttered to himself, "I wish Yukina would have come when I asked."

Hiei snickered. He was glad his sister had enough taste to turn the big oaf down.

And so, Crystal Tears and Co.'s second tour, Maiden's Tears (with Broken Maiden opening for Crystal Tears), started shockingly quiet and benign. Then again, Yusuke had not yet unveiled his plans. He wouldn't do so until later that night…

"You guys. I got an idea. And it'll be really fun. And really funny. And I talked to the guys in Broken Maiden, and they agreed. So. We're all going to go on stage… CROSS-DRESSED!" Kuwabara covered the table in the drink he'd just been chugging, and Hiei and Touya choked on their food, while Kurama politely giggled.

"NO WAY!" Kuwabara yelled, and Hiei shrugged. He had actually found Yukina's kimono surprisingly comfortable when they'd played truth or dare so long ago, though he'd never admit to that. Touya just looked at Yusuke. With one of 'those looks'.

Yusuke laughed. "Dudes, it's too late! I already worked it out with Broken Maiden, and the tour coordinators. That's how it's all being publicized and stuff. We can't let down our fans!" Hiei and Touya sighed.

"I'll do it if you do, Yusuke." Touya said.

Yusuke nodded. "Of course!"

Hiei whispered to Kurama, who blushed and nodded. "Ok, I'll do it too."

Kuwabara shook his head. "No way, you sick fucks!"

Yusuke grinned. "That actually may be a good thing. I don't think anyone wants to see Kuwabara, let alone in a dress!"

Kuwabara turned purple. "SCREW YOU, YUSUKE!"


	82. Ketziah and Raziel

"Wow, you're really cute under there!" Ketziah joked about Touya. She was the lead singer for Broken Maiden, and her love, Raziel, the drummer for Broken Maiden, grinned and nodded.

Touya blushed. "Umm, Thank you…" Ketziah was suddenly quiet, and serious.

Raziel stopped laughing immediately, as Ketziah took Touya's chin in hand and brought her face close to his, looking deep in his eyes. Touya shifted uncomfortably, and then was shocked to see an image forming in Ketziah's eyes, which were glossing over. He saw himself avoiding Yusuke, and then he saw himself leaving Yusuke's house, then returning to Yusuke and going to dinner, returning to Yusuke's home to find Yusuke pushing him away, then he saw himself sobbing. He saw Yusuke run into his room at the last minute comfort him. He saw the two of them kissing, and then darkness. He saw Yusuke trapped somewhere, and then that image changed to Jin's face, dying and weak, and then to Touya and Yusuke embracing, and then to Jin's corpse and Botan's arrival.

Then he saw a new series; somehow, he knew it was a different series. He saw him and Yusuke fighting, tearing each other apart with knife-words. He saw Yusuke leave, then him captured, like the other series. He saw himself deciding to help too late. He saw himself arriving just in time to see Yusuke die, and a dark tormentor laughing. He saw himself cut down by the tormentor, then he saw Jin appear too late to save anyone. He saw Jin fighting and dieing too, then he saw Jin's soul parting from his and Yusuke's, and going hellwards so he wouldn't be bothering Touya.

Touya's eyes widened at these series of images, and he pushed himself away from Ketziah, tearing out of her hold and falling back against a convenient desk, panting. Ketziah eyes cleared as she refocused on a terrified Touya.

Ketziah formed a sign of the gods on her chest. "Gods all, you've seen horrors, Touya. And they are not yet over. You saw it in my eyes, didn't you?"

Touya nodded. "I saw… Oh gods, I don't want… It's not all true, is it?"

Ketziah shrugged, her eyes as wide as Touya's. "It could be. It depends on what path you and those around you take. Some of it will happen regardless. Some of it depends. Most of it depends."

"When, Ketziah?"

Ketziah shrugged again. "Who is to know, but Father Time? I pray the Mothers protect you."

Raziel spoke. "Touya, I see it in you, too. Your aura has been abused. You've suffered frequent abuse, and persevered, but then someone close tore you, right? You had healed under Yusuke, but that person showed up before you were ready, if you could ever be ready. He'll be back a third time. But the third time… will… be different."

Touya's thoughts raced back to the image of Jin, dying and weak, which he'd seen in Ketziah's eyes, and the image of Botan, coming to Jin. "I'm not going to…. I'm not going to do what he did, right? I'm not going to be like him, right?"

Raziel and Ketziah glanced at each other. "We do not see that. We see only hurt. Hurt is a veil; all beyond it is unclear. It is possible, that you do this thing. It is possible you do not. It is not of your nature. Father Time will tell us." Raziel said.

Ketziah nodded. "Of Yusuke, be careful. Protect him; do not let anything come between you. I see you two fighting, and almost destroying one another. Be careful."

Touya glared. "Of course! I'd never let that happen! Besides, he always protects me! How am I to protect my protector?"

Raziel shook his head. "One day, you will need to switch places, if only for a time. You should accept it and be ready." Touya looked from Ketziah and Raziel, then turned and ran off, confused and upset. He would go to Yusuke, and he would feel better.

Ketziah and Raziel looked at each other again. "I'm not sure I like his aura. He's been tainted and beaten and hurt so many times. I fear he can't live alone anymore. I fear he has to belong to someone. I fear he can't love truly." Ketziah and Raziel both nodded.

"Gods all hold him safe."

A/N-Ketziah and Raziel are my original Charries, you may not play with them with out my permission! FEAR ME!

A/N2-this is officially the last already written chapter I have for this. It will be continued, but I've had a writing block on this story for sometime ((I know how it's gonna go, I just can't get it on paper!)) So it might be a while before another update ((not like it isn't always... sorry guys! I love you people who are patient even with me sporadic updates!)) though hopefully it will be more often because I'll have new stuff I want up! -;;; we will see....

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, once again! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply to many of ya'll - my yahoo account was being glitchy, and I've finally changed to a new e-mail to reply back. And please, if you want me to e-mail you back, please leave your e-mail address! It's so tiring to pull up everyone's user info!

In summation: Sorry it's taken so long, R&R and leave your e-mail so I can e-mail you back! I like to personally thank my reviewers, even if it's just a short "Thanks, glad you liked!" thing!


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